Yogan's Journey to Life

She said: step in the circle if you are nervous that you’re in a new place. I hesitated to step in. I knew it was not true, but I was also afraid of standing out and not being part of the group. But I decided to stand back, and smiled. I felt nervous in standing out of the circle. The camp leader said ok. I noticed some eyes did look at me, but I focused looking straight ahead. The upperclassman next to me whispered in my ear that “you’re an asshole” I felt shocked, it struck a cord with me. I felt afraid. I suppressed that response and carried on my day with excitement. I believe I need fear in order to fit in. I believe I need to respond to fear, in order to be accepted and be like everyone else. I fear standing without fear, and so standing separately and differently from the group of people. I am afraid of not being accepted because I don’t have fear. I am afraid of sticking out and standing out from the crowd. I am afraid of not being liked. I forgive myself for acce...

I have been having an issue where its like my memory is gone. I don't see myself being sick/ill. This feels more like a Lose of Self. So, in this Video: Revenge of the Ego by Bernard Poolman, I remember him saying that at times we will find ourselves losing Faith in ourselves. And this describes what I feel, so I decided to listen to the recording today. So the recording is fairly long and it covers a fair amount of dimensions/topics. The point that stuck out to me was how the mind is vastly superior with its access to the Knowledge, Intellectualism, such as facts, or memory - or Memory. It has access to all of that information, and everything I have every done in the past, and everything I ever felt/thought and all of my reactions to everything ever. So it knows all of this. And I don't have that same level of access. But, Bernard said the one point that the mind fails is in with Breath- this will disrupt the mind- in Breath the mind cannot do anything. So if I try to Thin...

So I have a lot to share in this blog. You see, I will covering what I did tonight, and as well as a draft of a blog I wrote on leadership. So I ask for some patience, because there is a very significant nugget of realization here for me, which is kind of a decision in itself, surprisingly. Paramore. So this is a band, whose music I was exploring and rocking out to for the past year. I remember when I bought their latest album about this time last year 2014. And I went to their concert that July. Sooooo. Tonight, just 1.5 hours ago, as I write this, I finish going to my 2nd concert. The most important thing that the reader, you should know, about this band, is the sincerity and honesty that have developed. Sooooo. This point of them committing to and sticking with themselves is what brought them the greatest success thus far in their music career. So for me, I have been lost, frankly, in what to do, and so really who to be. Who am I? This question clearly indicates I am lost, if y...

So tonight I am writing, which is the end of the day. Early today, in the morning, I made a commitment to try out something painful, as a reminder. So I am assessing right now what I have found. However, because I am writing a public blog, I should explain what I mean. So this morning, I was looking at something within me. I was firstly looking at how effective I have been in following my schedule. There was much improvement that can be done. I am also on the start making and executing a long plan, and in order for my plan to be effective I need to be consistent everyday. So I was looking into my past and seeing when I had been effective in living out a plan, or living consistently everyday. So I notice already in that moment as I looked back, that pain was something that motivated me. It was the pain of being where I was, that motivated me to seek out a better place to go, which was my college. I had to do much effort to make that happen, involving getting straight A's in h...

Asking for help So asking for help is cool, however like with anything, we can take something which can be self-supportive, and actually use it in a way that it is not self-supportive. So for example, when asking for helping as a way to do better in something or expand oneself (so whatever that means in the context), in contrast to when asking for help and one does not actually expand or can be expressed as not doing one's best, but is retracting self and relying on others to do the supposed work that self would have done. So, each one knows already when one does this, so it is our responsibility to act. And if your really not sure whether you do this, then one thing that can be practiced is sitting with self and being honest with self about what happened, and who self was in a moment prior. That's what cool about self-honesty, you always have access to yourself, just be honest. After reading what I wrote, I realized something cool: you decide, to be self-supportive, and thus ...

So inside me there is this struggle. But the answer is clear, oneness and equality. And then I know… how simple it is, to live. The inevitable world war three.    So the reason why the war is inevitable is because we say it is inevitable. We choose to sit down and shut up. Have some more Justin Beber or One Direction. We give up before we really try. Worse yet we are completely responsible, for we are the only ones that can stop the wars both within us and without us. So good job so far. I mean this planet is really nice, with all the war, rape, massacres, genocide, poverty, imbalance of wealth, and greedy self-centered bastardness. Yeah it’s a really nice home you have here. reeeaaalll nice. If you were given the choice to stop it, would you? Here’s the choice, take it; all it requires is for you to take responsibility and do what it takes to make the difference. Influence those around you, stand up and state who you are. Write it e...