Yogan's Journey to Life

I am in the process of Recreating myself completely. I was stuck in a place. And so I either stay stuck here or recreate myself. So far, the road that brought me here to being stuck was one where I uncovered myself, my secrets, and what I am good at and what I enjoy doing in this world. I found, you could say, exactly what many people look for in this life. Yet knowing who I am, knowing my being, it was not enough. Because this world system, this environment, I cannot live my being, live my creativity, live my expression as who I am right now. Because this world rejects it. So here is my stuckness: I am not able to live my being in this world system in a harmony, in an equilibrium, in a balance, in stability. In other words, I am not able to be me. Many people have suicided when they reach a somewhat similar point. Or they make other compromises, for example they stay simply stuck forever... They never change... because how can they? This is who they really are, in their soul, ...

Chloe Leanne Brooks https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYChu-UvzL8 There is much we do not know unless we experience the loss of something. Do you appreciate your own food, your body? Do you appreciate the air, the ability to walk up, the ability to dress yourself, take a shower? Do you appreciate the chance at being alive and live, be a part of the world, being able to be, live and interact with people in the world? When you look at silly reasons, excuses, fears, about what if they don't like you, what if things go bad, what if things don't work out, what if your dreams, goals, plans don't pan out. Look at the fact that you are alive and could actually do these things, attempt such things. Because one day you won't have the opportunity anymore, your time will be up. This is true for everyone. No one lives forever. Learn from others and the experiences they are going through, like Chloe Brooks who shares herself in this video. Place yourself in her shoes and see thr...

Looking back across my life, I have had many desires and dreams fulfilled. I have experience great things. I have experienced what's its like to be in a relationship. I experienced what its like to have lots of sex. I have experienced what its like to feel so much love. I have experienced what its like to have amazing friends. I have experienced moments of great laughter and fun. I have also had my dreams fulfilled. I was able to work and do what I really wanted. I was able to do things I have always wanted to be able to do. I have conquered so many fears and limitations. During the last years I have experienced somethings strange, where it felt like I had done what I always wanted, and that I have no goal to work towards. At the same time, everything that I desired and wanted was false. This including the places I wanted to work. This includes all of my relationships and friendships. None of it was real or lasted. They were all temporary. Now looking back across my life ex...

It seems fitting that since I had written about my dream/desire for the future world, that I write about my dream/desire for a school. I also placing this into words for the first time. In the past I have written about schools, and the experiences that children face based on what I observed of peers during my time as a student, as well as my own experience as a child. I have written also about my perception of sudbury schools. In fact, when I first came across sudbury school material online, I had this experience I felt, but I didn't put it into words. Having worked now at a sudbury school, and being let go from that school, I have to be honest with myself and self-reflect on what I see is needed or missing, especially from this vision I have about what future I want for everyone. Firstly, I do feel hesitant and fearful to say I want a certain future for other people, as if it is wrong or bad or unacceptable to want a certain life for someone. The reasoning is that you can'...

Hi, so I will be, like the title says, reassessing and recreating my starting point for blogging. From now on, I will be blogging on substantial points. So no more surface level, or simply touching the surface of the mind. I will be going deep into points of my mind and the general mind. I will be describing in detail, the energies, my experiences, and thoughts I have. So let's begin! I have potential business client, and with this client, there exist a dimension of hope for the future, specifically that she becomes a long standing and permanent client. If such a future were to occur, this would secure a significant amount of income for me. On a practical level, I have already decided to do whatever physical work necessary, meaning as much physical support possible, within the limits of what I can give without upsetting the balance of time I have, to secure her as a client. Why? I am in the beginning stages of a business, and if I secure a good solid ground of clients, no matt...

The Relation- Ship Construct. Yay!!! So I have recently mined into a significant vein of the relationship construct of mine. So I made a better deep dent, into parts I didn't see, or at least have suppressed, for a long time. But this is just one part, and there were more points that revealed themselves today! So I will be recap what I have already looked at for myself, and delving into these new points.  So in my personal writings and self-forgiveness I uncovered that within the relationship constrict, and particularly the desire for a relationship, I am actually desiring many points. I am desiring pleasure, to be cared for, to be serviced for example. And within that the greatest desire of them all, sex, which really is just pleasure. This I found being sourced to early childhood experiences of love, and being CARED for (note the wording). As a baby you are helpless, and in my life in particular I was extremely well cared for and I experience energy which I called the love...

  Sleeping Dreams The following paragraph is what I perceived/believed. I had to write this out, before I can analyze and reflect what is it that I perceive/believe, so that I can receive a deeper understanding on the greater consequences and really what it means to live what is best for me/all as it pertains to the living action of dreaming and sleeping.   Dreaming is good because it reveals who I am, deeper suppressed parts. I get access to myself when I dream. Dreaming is also a limitation because I don’t have full control. It would be nicer if I could access those same parts but when I am awake. In dreams I generate emotions and/or feelings. If I have feelings in a dream I tend to sleep more and attempt to not wake up. If I have emotions I tend to want to wake up. Dreaming is an action. It is time spent in real space/time to perform some action with some result. The question is whether that time spent is worth that action/result. I would say no, simpl...

During the last 2 days I have been exploring some points within myself. I decided to start over and give myself a do over with myself. To start from scratch. So Im no longer accepting any thought as valid. So I bring this up because I am looking now at the point of morality and how this has served me, and how it is proving very useful to me. Now, in my mind, and perhaps in the mind of all men, there are certain things, which we may judge as Ok, or acceptable. Porn could be one of those points. For me, I can't explain it in any other way, but porn is unacceptable because of the message you are giving for seeing women and men as inferior, and as less than who they really are. We are not images, we are more than just that. So there is something wrong within reacting to the image of the women and seeing just the image and nothing else. The same goes for men. So, from the point of view of the mind, there is nothing wrong, because no one is getting physically hurt. But I know something h...

--> The belief that our view is just as valid as anyone else’s view is inherently mistaken and therefore evil. The only real acceptable view is everyone’s view, that is, looking and checking every single perspective of each and everything that exists, from rocks, to trees, bugs, dead people, people, everyone. Because we cannot see things from plants views, this view will be imperfect. However this is the only real view, true view, that is what is common to all, is what is real, and the views of everyone taken together reveals the reality of everything. This is commonsense. It is not commonsense to believe that my individual view is equal to the view of everyone such that I can claim that my view is just as true so im going to now use my views as the basis to determine what reality is and consists of… this is not commonsense. Thus the only acceptable view is the view of everyone everything, all views taken together as one, that all perspectives and points of view are see...