Yogan's Journey to Life

What I am in the process of doing is Giving up all Hope and then Placing Self-Trust Here. Specifically I am giving up the hope that anyone or everyone will make it in their process, will actually learn, grow or change. Even more specifically its the hope for real connections with people, since a real connection would require that person be real (me too of course), where there is that depth. I am giving up all hope that anyone will be real. And what I am doing is placing my self-trust here in me, in what I can do, create, and move in this physical reality. And what I am also doing is that I am going to do all of this Life Creation, and Self-Creation, and World System Creation in the Name of all of those who I basically loved or hoped for to make it, which is everyone really. So I do all of this in the Name of Everyone, in the Name of everyone's potential, even if in reality no one makes it, and all will Fall. Because me doing it, me Living it, Me being the Creation, being the ...

Love is now a feeling I can identify clearly within me. I can see it within me as a trigger to this video game. I can see it trigger when watching this or that movie. I can see it trigger in my memories with this person. Love is a feeling, an energy, which doesn't need to exist. Looking at how it works, how it exists within me: it is triggered by various media. And the moments that I felt love as a feeling with another person, was also triggered by the moment, by the situation. One memory where I felt love as an energy was when I was laying down and holding my girlfriend at the time, the bed was comfortable. The image of the place was perfect. And I felt the energy I generated within me attached to this moment. What is interesting about feelings is that they are attached to only particular or specific moments. For example, you won't find this love when the same "loved one" is yelling at you. How useful can the feeling of Love be, when its not there when you need it?...

I finished up a series of blogs on humility. I suggest to check that out before reading this, if you wish to have a greater understanding of the context and the changes that are happening on a larger scale. You will however will be able to follow along anyway. I ended the previous series of blogs on a point. This point was being present with my emotions and feelings. The practical application, thereof, is opening up something interesting. And I have questions, and seek answers. That is why I write tonight. So there are two different moments I am experiencing. One is when there is a distinct voice, or thought I have, and I experience a feeling or emotion along with the thought. Another moment is one where I just experience a feeling, and its silent in my head, no thought. I am curious as to why they are different. I admit they are different. In one I am taking a position, and my perception of the world changes, like I am clouded. The second one, I perceive what is here, and what I...