Yogan's Journey to Life

Love is now a feeling I can identify clearly within me. I can see it within me as a trigger to this video game. I can see it trigger when watching this or that movie. I can see it trigger in my memories with this person. Love is a feeling, an energy, which doesn't need to exist. Looking at how it works, how it exists within me: it is triggered by various media. And the moments that I felt love as a feeling with another person, was also triggered by the moment, by the situation. One memory where I felt love as an energy was when I was laying down and holding my girlfriend at the time, the bed was comfortable. The image of the place was perfect. And I felt the energy I generated within me attached to this moment. What is interesting about feelings is that they are attached to only particular or specific moments. For example, you won't find this love when the same "loved one" is yelling at you. How useful can the feeling of Love be, when its not there when you need it?...

Reality, Truth, Honesty. Such words have been tainted, corrupted, spit on, that any semblance of their substance seems far too distant to sight. In our mentally created reality of the mind, existing within polarities of good and bad, we have become accustomed to a perception that reality is ambiguous, murky, untrustworthy, rampant with corrupted individuals who at their very core can never be trusted, that everything is arguable and the only predictable thing is pure chaos in daily life. The possibility that truth can exist, that an objective way to live can exist would just appear as another trick that someone plays to gain favor over you. In a world of Opinion, Belief and Thought, where view points are what is rampant, that nothing is certain, its like a chaotic soil that never settles and constantly mixed about. Life cannot grow from the soil. Seeing clearly how reality exists and operates, seeing it for what it is, not letting anything like opinion cloud your sight, anythin...

So it is written and so it shall be done. So what does the above phrase mean? To me it appears that a person with such authority, trust, reliability, and predictability, state that if he writes something, than that written word is binding and he will honor that word, and act based on what he wrote. This is pretty immense power, isn't it? It involves self-control, self-will, self-mastery, to carry out exactly what you said you were going to do. What do you notice about people in power, or in wealthy positions? Don't they follow their word, and carry through exactly what they said they will? Is this the very definition of being a trustworthy person? Perhaps it is, or at least partly. How about in one's individual life? Let's take me for example, I write here in this blog. So if I were to write that I am going to do something, and with such authority, and consistency, that I do it. Well... Then I did it, haha. So this would be me living out, so it is written and s...

During the last 2 days I have been exploring some points within myself. I decided to start over and give myself a do over with myself. To start from scratch. So Im no longer accepting any thought as valid. So I bring this up because I am looking now at the point of morality and how this has served me, and how it is proving very useful to me. Now, in my mind, and perhaps in the mind of all men, there are certain things, which we may judge as Ok, or acceptable. Porn could be one of those points. For me, I can't explain it in any other way, but porn is unacceptable because of the message you are giving for seeing women and men as inferior, and as less than who they really are. We are not images, we are more than just that. So there is something wrong within reacting to the image of the women and seeing just the image and nothing else. The same goes for men. So, from the point of view of the mind, there is nothing wrong, because no one is getting physically hurt. But I know something h...

So im going to be pushing my body this week. I am not weak, I am strong. I can make mistakes- and learn from my mistakes and grow. I do not know if I need fear- to think so would be a presumption- so I will remove fear and find out. I also never need to insult anybody- I can just stick with fact- I do not need to create illusions- the reality here is stable enough and works well. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not know what I am doing- by being here. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the mind, instead of being here. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be present with every breath. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge others and myself for writing self-forgiveness which I have considered a waste of time. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to concern myself more with appearance than with function and results.