Yogan's Journey to Life

 What Life is is everyone/all. And so Life does come first before any individual. At the same time you are equally important as Life. So what it comes first before is typically the Ego. So Life becomes first before you as ego or anyone else as ego. But Life as you equally comes first.  When you say how Life comes first, the egos will react. The egos will fight, they will say they feel insult, and they will attack you verbally. Because the egos places itself first, not Life first.  So having the Bravery and willingness to stand up and say what is needed to be said so that Life may be supported, and do what needs to be done so that Life may be supported, is critical. That is when living is real, when it is taking into action. I can feel the fear of what its like standing up. And as well the fear of facing someone aggressive and borderline violent. Violent with their words, and with their threats. Yet Life must stand unmoved. Life must come first. It may very well be the cas...

What do I feel? Fear. What do I fear? I fear losing access to people, to being cut off and shut out. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing access to people, to fear being cut off and be shut out. How do I feel now? I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear standing without fear. Nothing. I am remembering my day. There were moments where I was angry, irritated, yet I did self-forgiveness or I pushed for stopping the fears, emotions, anger. I succeeded in feeling nothing again and in acting/doing what is best for all, I went beyond my limitations. I pushed for integrity of my doing and not for money. In the nothingness, I am home. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear taking responsibility for other people and this world, through who I am in absolute detail. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear going into the depth of a person and seeing all of who they are and all that is here within my ...

Time to Recreate myself again. I see now that I have been developing and participating a desire to have someone else like me around. Someone that I can talk to in depth and detail about the mind, about all the details. all the dimensions, all the aspects and observations as if it was a fascinating scientific pursuit or study. To be able to share and make cross-referencing with that person regarding any and all dimensions of the mind/body and our experience. To discuss the techniques and methods used, as well as describe the mind system, treating them as universal things to study/catalogue and so share and discuss as something mutual and applicable to all of us. SO I was developing that desire. And desire means energy. Desire are system. All desires are system as long as they operate within energy. Its possible to make a decision about what you want or go after it, all without energy within it or behind it. That is not what I was doing in this case. I had a life long desire, that sp...

 Clenching my Jaw Putting my teeth together, my lower and upper jaw together and pulling it in tightly. I feel Anxious about the exam. I think I am going to do poorly. I feel like I don't want to take the exam and I want to avoid the exam. I feel stressed. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to subsconsciously put my teeth together and close my jaw tightly. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel anxious about the exam I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think I am going to do poorly I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel like physically avoiding the exam I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel repulsed by the exam I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I do not want to take the exam I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am going to do poorly on the exam when and as I see myself putting my teeth together and pressing them...

So in the following voice clip I talk about the Positive Energy behind Anger, and its worth listening to, However there is more to the story. Today I learned that when you feel angry and you feel good while angry, which involves you smiling slightly as a tell, or you are blaming someone, its just bullshit. Its unacceptable completely. Now, when you feel angry and you feel bad, its something different. Its a sign that you need to SPEAK UP. Why do I say this? Because I feel a kind of anger that I feel bad within. I feel I must speak about oneness and equality and the injustices in the world. I must speak about how we can all change and how we all have a responsibility. I must speak about and point out our flaws and problems. This is like a shameful anger, an anger about suffering in the world. I feel this same kind of shameful anger when I have been teased and bullied. I didn't speak up then. I should have spoken up and stated my truth. I know who I am, I am THIS WAY. And set t...

The human Mind Conscious System works in polarities of good and bad. You have good feelings and bad ones. No matter what you feel, it charges your thoughts: You feel angry so you think about how an idiot someone is, and you think about them in anger. Or someone makes you feel happy, and you think about how good they are to you. This is how thinking works, it responds to how you feel. Its possible to stop the mind, and so stop the thinking and the feeling. Why do this? Because how much do you control your thoughts? Observe and see for yourself that they just move on their own. This is because your Mind manages your thoughts automatically, it creates them for you to hear and see. You don't directly create your thoughts, like on purpose. So your choice is either to participate or not to participate. Either let things happen or stop giving it attention. It is through your awareness and attention that you empower your thoughts and emotions. What is interesting about your mind is t...