Yogan's Journey to Life

--> So here, I will be taking on a "new" point. The last two blog posts will be continue to be developed as part of a DIP assignment and will eventually be posted again, but with more deeper insight into the situation (me).  Ok- so the suicide character.  I give up, I don't want to live anymore; Life is too hard; why me? God oh why!? Feeling apathetic, emptiness, low energy. A craving for excitement, feelings, something to fill the gap the emptiness that oneself has created through acceptance and allowance of fear.  I made fear into a big deal, a big thing. When its just fear. Its no more than another reaction. The fact that for thousands of years man has been controlled and manipulated by fear is quite startling when considering that it originates within SELF. We are the ones that feel fear. There is no one that is inserting fear within you. It is all in the mind.  I feared changing and becoming responsible for all/this existence. Behav...

I have not been living in a healthy balanced manner. I expected/believed I could focus on only one thing- my thesis- and ignore the rest. Within this binocular vision (tunnel vision) I did not care for eating well, waking up early, sleeping well, breathing, writing, resting, exercising, sitting comfortably, sitting relaxed, sitting so that I could sit like this forever, being relax and focused while reading, understanding, and learning. My overall experience with thesis is fear; a panic that I won't be able to finish, that I will run out of time. I desired to show so much, and do great things with my thesis. In essence then, I desired everything to happen quickly. That I would be finished with the whole project in no time- that I would be already at the finish line. Instead of being here with the thesis. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to finish early without putting the time and effort into it. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to just...