Yogan's Journey to Life

Being Alone There is a system within me that 5 parts to it. Each part relates to this Trauma of being Alone growing up, being alone as who I am, being alone as my story, being alone as my past, the physical behaviors and ways I act out due to this Trauma of being alone. The 5 parts of the system are: 1.      Feeling/Thinking my life is meaningless and purposeless. This is very well captured by the end of the Bohemian Rhapsody song “Nothing really matters, anyone can see, nothing really matters, nothing really matters to meee…. Any way the wind blows….” These have been constant and consistent backchats in my recent days going back to several years. Where I would try to stop it and stand up from it, though never really ending it or changing it. But I did use this as a starting point to write out my purpose to become a data scientist and use that money to create my life and support the life of others. So I didn’t let it stop me, I worked with it however w...

So you have heard that the decisions you make have lasting impact on your future. You may have even made certain decisions that changed your life drastically, and that you may regret deeply. So I recently am recognizing and seeing a particular decision I made, which I hadn't fully taken responsibility for and turned out to be a really bad decision, and within/from the consequence of the bad decision, it not only was a bad decision, it also affected who I am, my confidence and my ability to make good decisions. So I realize that this may sound confusing, so let's start with the situation. So when I was 18 years old I entered into my first relationship. This point of a relationship forming was the results of years upon years of thinking, imagination, hoping, desiring, emotions and feelings. So in that sense I created it and the consequence was inevitable. So I was ready and willing to enter into a relationship with ANYONE. So I essentially had no standards, really. So within...

Understanding Attraction The above video is from the Self & Living Store, and happens to be one of their free interviews on youtube. I wanted to share about my application with the suggestion provided. So attraction is no stranger to me, I have had it for many women over the years, even as earlier as the 1st grade in Elementary School. Since then about every year or so there was always someone that I felt an attraction when thinking about her or seeing her. The fact that there were so many is interesting to see.  So when I had a look at the word (meaning the word that is what it is I am actually attracted/desiring), especially seeing how it is a word I am not living that I would like to live, what came up was Expression. There were many different reasons why this was the word. So to give some of those perspectives, that with these persons in my past, I believed I could be myself and express me. I would actually express myself such a completely different way with this per...