day59- Bringing myself back here.
I have not been living in a healthy balanced manner. I expected/believed I could focus on only one thing- my thesis- and ignore the rest. Within this binocular vision (tunnel vision) I did not care for eating well, waking up early, sleeping well, breathing, writing, resting, exercising, sitting comfortably, sitting relaxed, sitting so that I could sit like this forever, being relax and focused while reading, understanding, and learning. My overall experience with thesis is fear; a panic that I won't be able to finish, that I will run out of time. I desired to show so much, and do great things with my thesis. In essence then, I desired everything to happen quickly. That I would be finished with the whole project in no time- that I would be already at the finish line. Instead of being here with the thesis. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to finish early without putting the time and effort into it. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to just...