Yogan's Journey to Life

yesterdays blog: https://yoganjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2019/01/day-685-reacting-in-worthlessness.html Continuing with yesterday's point on Worthlessness in me while looking at how it relates to being Comforted. So as a child growing up in worthlessness, I didn't seek to change the worthlessness directly, because I didn't know how, I didn't have the tools that I have now that I learned from Desteni ( www.desteni.org www.lite.desteniiprocess.com ). So what gave me a momentary pause or distraction from feeling worthless was feeling comforted, and being comforted. Now looking at how this developed over the years its interesting. I remember some of the first crushes I had on women, when I was like 9 years old, that it was with girls in my class who were nice to me, and paid attention to me, who seemed like nice people. So I was being comforted in that moment. And it was very specific, like the smile of the person, making feel that I was being accepted and welcomed. ...

So in the recent Previous Blogs, I covered Manipulation in the context of Confidence and Anger. Now in this blog I will cover Manipulation in the context of Being Nice, Kind and Happy. As well I will be covering this Bias I have, this judgment I have that enables me to be easily manipulated by a certain group of people. This group of people is women. So because of how I was raised I have had certain deeply ingrained beliefs and ideas about women. For as long as I can can remember, I viewed women/girls, including girls my age when I was growing up, to be more matured. I believed it. I believed females were more intelligent. I believed they are more trustworthy, Honest, and Kind. I believed women are Nice, gentle and compassionate. I believed the world would be better if women ran it. I believed that mothers were also nicer, kinder, more gentle, more responsible, stronger than fathers. I believed women were more important than men. I believed that it was better for me to be around gi...

Remembering my life and who I have been. I have been many different persons. I once was a person very much in love and obsessed with one person. I remember all the love and pain I felt. I was in so much emotional pain. Remembering the emotional pain I felt, it feels like no physical pain would mean anything in comparison to that. This is my evidence that love is the real evil. I once had the relationship I wanted. I had lots of sex. I felt close, intimate. Then I found out the person was someone who was not committed to me. I realized that I made a mistake. I realize I needed to change. That is when I started Desteni. I was ready. I remember being like 7 years old and sad. I remember being happy in regular class, and when I moved to gifted class everything changed. the kids in regular class were friendly and sociable. The kids in gifted class were super serious and intimidating. It was like being in military school, or where everyone was a robot. I remember feeling just weird, ...

So today we are opening my Men mind, and by that I mean, what I, as a guy or man, find attractive and why? Specifically we are looking at a kind of attraction which I have observed most if not all men, who are straight/heterosexual, have towards an specific particular image of a woman, as well as her physical facial expression. So to start off this blog, I ask that you remember/imagine what you have thought to be a hot woman or man. So for me, I have many times while growing up, having certain fantasies, particularly involving a woman which I considered to be sexy or hot. So the question here is why is this particular image of a woman decided or chosen to be what is sexy or hot. And in general we do, as males, and women, have a shared idea about what is sexy or hot. Here are some examples. For women, it means to wear mascara, a tight dress, or short shorts, or showing cleavage, and wearing make up so make yourself like young without wrinkles, etc... So in commonsense yes, there is pr...

So I am faced with a really interesting point that is a really unique opportunity. This is a big point that I don't understand. So what I am seeing here is an opportunity to walk through piece by piece and it being a cool way to walk something big that I don't understand in a series of blogs. I haven't walked something so big, at least in a while. And given how comfortable I am now within writing, I am now able to walk it in a series of blog in this way, even when I don't have the full point walked yet for myself. So this will be a cool opportunity for real time walking and writing. So the above is my little introduction, and I will say that the following course is what has helped me or supported me to write and investigate myself, if you are interested in doing the same. Desteniiprocess.com So basically I spent a long period of time with someone yesterday. Who this person is in relation to me, is obvious to me as being very important to this point. This is a par...

So we are going wayyyyyy Back in Time.  Welcome to the past. Here I am where my first crushes were present. So my earliest relationship with the opposite sex, girls, I see as significant, now that I have made a major breakthrough in seeing my pattern of reacting to women in detail. So I see then that my first relations with women, defined how I responded/reacted to all women. That is quite significant, the fact that my first initial relations with women defined how I responded, felt, and what I thought when meeting all of these future women. That is what I can see now. This reveals how everything we live: think, feel, react, doesn't just go away by itself. It stays with us. Until, we actually in awareness take responsibility for that, and release it and change. See, I was aware that my relationship to women was not self-supportive. I knew that. But, I wasn't aware of the detail of it, how I felt, what I thought, in moment to moment playout. I had to be aware of what it i...

So this blog will be from a guys perspective. So hi, I'm male, haha. Even though this topic will cover girls, as seen from my perspectives, I invite readers to switch girls with guys, to see if the same patterns exist within you, even if you may be female, or homosexual/gay. So I am 24 years old, a male, and I identify as a male, and as heterosexual. So that's really like THE word that defines and has defined much of relationship to females/girls in general, "SEX." One thing I can identify right away, is that it is about my beliefs and ideas, not about the actual physical act of sex. I have only had sex a few times, and only had sex when I was 18. So from about the time in elementary school when I first saw GIRLS as something special, unique, interesting to the time I was 18, there was no SEX. So its not really at all about sex. Instead, during that time period, I would think, fantasize, imagine conversation with some specific girls, and would have desires and f...

--> So I made a mistake in not standing as what I trusted, as good. I immediately went into a fear of not being good, when I received feedback that I was not good. I went into the mind instead of standing up for myself. I fear knowledge, and I granted knowledge equal value to reality. But knowledge can be false- while reality is real/here. Knowledge can reflect reality, however it can also not. So this proves knowledge itself cannot distinguish reality from false lies (misinformation, disinformation). WE, need to see for ourselves directly reality by being here. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see the mind as separate from me and that I was not responsible for what happens in my mind. When and as I see the mind as separate from me, I stop and breathe, I bring myself back here, I stop the separation, and I stop the mind either immediately by saying "stop" or by applying self-forgiveness. I imagined telling this specific girl the foll...