Yogan's Journey to Life

Bernard once asked to keep writing my blogs since they are quite effective and that he likes something to read.  I am finding that I am getting angry again. Angry in a way that I want to write, I want to make videos, I want to say what needs to be said to resonate in the world on our responsibility, what needs to be done, and what is best for all.  I looked in my last 2 posts into Love, and how it was said that Love was used to pacify or cancel out the thoughts of revolution in USA. And inside my body it feels that way. Where I can feel pacified and not wanting to do anything once love gets in me. Which is a strong contrast to this anger.  I would call this anger passion. And I would be worried about whether it was real or not. And that is what I told Bernard, and he said to keep writing, and that I would get it in years time. I am not sure yet. But I am sure that being pacified, being content and relax and not doing anything will only lead to things getting worse, never ...

The only thing of value that exists is every single one of us. Living this statement actually means you have value. Those who are selfish don't have any value. This entire reality is built on the principle that all lives matter equally. And that is why at death you will see that only those who can stand as point, will have any access to what matters. If you disagree with me, your an abuser. Because what you are saying is that not everyone is worthy of care, of money, of support, of food and all and everything we need to become effective individuals that can care and support others in turn. Abusers are a common thing, and Abusers are irrelevant. To be an abuser is to be a distraction that is to be ignored. Because those who understand and support Life, need our attention. Isn't it funny how abusers want attention? I think its hilarious.  Just like how we stop our thoughts, we also stop the abusers. We ignore them. We don't give them any attention. Life need nourishment, need...

So looking at this word Unity: what first comes up is United States. So if we really live the word Unity, then we wouldn't stop at just united states, but continue to say united countries or united world. I suppose that is what United Nations is. What does it mean to live unity? I suppose on a superficial level we can say that we are the United States, but are we united? What does it mean to live Unity? How about the opposite? We are the Separated States, or the separate countries. We all live in separation. Would we prefer that? Do we enjoy our individuality, and our separateness? Do we prefer that distance between us? What does it mean for us to live Unity? What about within us as individuals? Are we united within this body and mind? Are we united in our self? What would that look like? I think that once we understand what it means to be united within our individual selves, will we then more clearly see how to be united as people. Because unity is an expression. And ...

We are all one and equal. Oneness and Equality requires giving up the ability to Feel emotions and Feelings such as Happiness, Excitement, Love, Joy, Sadness, Anger, Frustration, Irritation. Because your current ability to feel such things are all based in Reactions to something. They are not your Decision, they are not your Deliberate Creation. They only exist because you accept and allow it, because you only exist currently as an Observer. You are not the Directive Principle of your Life currently. You are existing purely as someone who is observing and experiencing Energy. Your entire life boils down to what you Feel, and Experiencing Energy. Do you agree with this truth? Given this, it is shameful, and it is idiotic, and silly, and simply a wasted life and a wasted time, since how many points did you participate in your Life that was merely because of energy? All of them. How many decisions did you make based on the Energy you Felt? All of them. Do you exist at all outside of thi...

My Dream: I had a dream where there I was and I was dancing Cha-Cha with a guy because he's super into Cha-Cha, and then it turned into all of us guys like jumping around dancing and laughing. So here I was connecting with that expression of dancing with Friends that had been suppressed this last year. This was something I had expressed the year before that. And I know its a part of me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress my dance expression. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own expression. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing a friend through me being myself I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing a friend through me dancing. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge people by their age. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see all people as equal regardless of age. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing mysel...

So in this blog I am going to be speaking about a Signature of an Expression. For most normal people they won't understand what I EXACTLY will be describing here. So it is something that requires a certain kind of experience with self-forgiveness, with expressions, and understanding how your sound, presence, living words and self-expression INTERACT with yourself, your energies, your reactions etc... The Signature of Expression is this: Screaming Bloody Murder. Let me try describing what I am referring to. So, there is this part of my mind/reactions that I haven't been able to resolve for a while. And I had a moment where I was pushing for my stance/stand of what is best for all and in not allowing these reactions within me. And it reached a point where I accessed this signature of what would be Screaming but at the highest level of "Hatred" or just general loudness. I said WOULD be screaming because I didn't actually scream outloud, but I accessed that Sign...

I know, war is an extreme.  I have made the decision that its necessary to declare a war on feelings. This includes all feelings, including intuition, happiness, love, joy, excitement etc... Anything that involves your feelings about something or someone. Feeling like someone is bad or good, or someone is untrustworthy. Any kind of feeling that involves translating that feeling into a belief. So that means when I see someone who looks homeless, that I don't judge them as homeless and I don't make a feeling about them, or accept and allow a feeling about them for example. This includes when I see someone that looks Beautiful, that I don't see them as beautiful, or as trustworthy or good, or bad, or bitchy, or whatever. I don't think or feel anything about them, or anyone. Instead what I do is see directly here in real time what is going on, and who people are, and whats happening actually.  It is necessary to confront all feelings, because how else will expressions...

What is the one thing I fear? What is one place I am not willing to go to? Standing in correcting/directing others. Standing as who I am in opposition. My heart/connection to existence is needed. I am a part of this existence, I am worth defending/protecting/enhancing/safeguarding. I have equal value to this entire existence. I stand with and as everyone/everything. I have value just for existing. I am equal to this entire existence. I deserve care, respect, regard and consideration. I am worthy. I give myself all of these things, all of these words, and I expect to receive them from others. Anyone who is not aligned with these words are misaligned and are detracting from themselves and others. Life is here, Life is exist, we are equal and one with and as Life. I give that value to everyone. I support an Equal Money System. I support a Freedom Dividend, I support anyone and all support to everyone/existence. Simply for existing I have value. I don't have to hav...

I have found an interesting thing. My tether to this world. It is something defined within the mind, but I can see I can redefine it and live it as words. My tether is what gives me the sense of living, of hope, and potential and there being a future for me in this world. I find that when I look into myself as my life timeline that my tether to this world relates to Being Understood by someone and finding that one someone who does See me, Gets me, understands me. So its an imagination. I imagine finding such a person and see the potential of the human people that I would find such a person somewhere. I have had this throughout my life since childhood. I can see the negative polarity of seeing myself as not understood by others, or heard by others. That I am alone in this world, and so feeling frustrated, tired, alone, meaningless within that. And so having this idea of finding someone someday who does understand and get me is what motivated me through so many times in my life. I ha...

 People people will hurt you, cut you, punch you, make you cry, steal from you, make of you... make you laugh, cry with joy and love, sing, dance, play around, become goofy, explore different parts of yourself, smile and feel overjoyed! I always knew when I would open up to people that it would get to me. That I would have this thing which seems like weakness. Its gonna suck. Its gonna hurt. And I know it. I am in uncharted territories, I mean there's no guidelines here or rules on how to be or what's best. I only have myself in this. Am I making a mistake with this? Do I know what I am doing? I don't know. But I think that's its okay that I don't. At the same time... at the same time it feels right. Its my unique way of relating to people and supporting people. Its my expression. I guess. God it sucks, it sucks so bad to be kicked, to be screwed with. But at the same time its so good to connect, to reach out and laugh and say something. So FUCKING good....

There is a particular writing voice I want to practice. Its one I have used before. Maybe it will help or maybe its effective. Let's see. Clears my throat. Hi humanity/world, my name is Yogan. I am walking a process with my mind/self. To stop the mind/past, and reconfigure myself into expressions that are best for all, and applied in moments. Right now I'm walking processes that are specific. I'm trying to understand specifically what is going on with certain mind points/personalities. Part of my conclusions as what I need to do is to try to live what is best for all more. To in moments where I am not sure what exactly to do or say, that I try my best anyway. And so I keep on trying. That is what I'm doing now with this blog. I don't know where its going exactly. I don't have some plan or outline. I suppose its like rambling. But I am trying. I am trying to find a way to speak what is best for all and put it out there. I have walked a lot of mind, but ...

This Blog is Almost like a Thought Experiment. It is Reflective, and you need to Read it all the way through because my Perspective Changes in real time. So make sure to read it all the way through, I end somewhere differently than where I started out in the beginning.  There is me as Yogan as my story as an individual... There is also me that is not Yogan, that takes on a grander perspective, grander vision, that includes many more perspectives at once, and strives for what is best for each perspective. When I live in this way of living from multiple perspectives or many perspectives... I become something different, I see things differently, I respond to situations differently. It is a point of greater understanding. Understanding more perspective on any given situation or moment. It is a point of living outside of my previous conceptions of my self of who I am, of Yogan. It is a point of just having a body and just relying on that fact that I am anchored here in r...

  So this word Sacred Feminine is specific. I have a specific reference for that word. I know exactly what this word means to me. I have a reference on how to live this word. I have lived this word deeply in various moments of my life. The sacred feminine, I am using it to refer to the Real Femininity that is an expression of all Life, that we can live here as humans. Its something deep, real and certain. It is something that can exist here and lived very clearly. It is an expression here as oneself, with and as one's body. It is a self-relation, it is a self-movement. It is an embodiment of self, that changes our perception of things and how we take things in. The sacred feminine is not something lived widely by people. It is not widely found or widely seen. It is highly rare. Taking my life as proof to me, I see this to be the case. Yet I have seen the exception, the few who did live it for a moment. I am interested in living the expression that I am referring to with th...

So directing another person. I have been figuring this one out: trying to direct another person. Bernard said in a very short chat long ago how a partner has to direct the agreement. Does this mean directing the other person? I don’t know. Maybe he said a partner has to direct the other. Anyway. The point here is no matter what Bernard may have meant or said, I am deciding here and now to not direct another, whether it be an agreement partner or any person really. Especially though in an agreement. I have decided that even in an agreement to not direct the other person. This is a big deal for me, to decide this. I am going to let each person walk their process. Those who have the tools, have the tools, those who don’t have the tools, then if they are ready I will share the tools. More importantly though in an agreement where you are spending such a life time with a person, to not direct the other person. I know its tempting, that is what I believed at least partly believed....

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not knowing what to do and so try to listen to others, and look to others to direct me, instead of listening to myself and who I am, and so living who I am, no matter the situation. Time to listen to the voice Inside of me. Time to step out of the closet. Time to live Me, Yogan in everything I do, instead of Living someone else or something else. So no matter the situation, apply the Me, the who I am, the Principles, and what I, Yogan, would do. Ask what would I do? Standing/Existing as that Inner Voice So I wrote the above this morning after doing self-forgiveness. I just uploaded a youtube video on this inner voice, and can be seen here: https://youtu.be/WNEfqQCHH98 My Inner Voice... its funny that I saw Westworld and it came down to the point of the Inner Voice. The Robots in the end, found their inner voice.  So what I saw this morning was how my being, my inner voice, is here alwa...

The way I see it, the generation of new children, of the next people is always here. It is always right here that the new people will emerge and take our place. It is something constant. The constant Change, the constant exchanging of hands of responsibilities. Who we are is added onto to the next generation, it makes them stronger and better than us. Isn't that something we should aspire to? Shouldn't we want other people to be more than us? To learn from us? To learn quicker than us and reach a better spot in themselves than us? Should we not want to pass on the torch and make sure the future and path is brighter and better lit for them to walk on. This is what I see the grander purpose of my life to be, and all of our lives as humanity, to make sure that those will come after us have it even better than us. Especially when it comes to the process of self-realization, self-amalgamization, self-transcendence, self-betterment, self-perfection. I really do believe perfection i...

 This is blog post is from my personal writings, unedited. I go through the point as it naturally opens up in me. One point leads to the next naturally. I start with what I know, SF on the energy experience:  Shame I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel shame I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel shameful I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel shame with being a burden to my friends I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel shame with making all of these mistakes across my life I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel shame with making all of these consequences across my life I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel shame with not knowing what to do. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel shame with not knowing where to go I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel shame with being lost I forgive myself for accepti...