Yogan's Journey to Life

Competing with men for the favor of women... in other words competing with men for getting with a particular woman of interest. You know, relationshippy stuff. I am seeing a dimension of this. Seeing how I do smile subconsciously in hearing how a guy was having difficulty in his life. I smiled caused I saw him as a competitor for getting with a woman. I mean it seems very primal and very obvious like why it is and where its from. So I can see how in my mind how the thoughts move to the line of thinking about paying attention to him and him getting in favor with some female. Like I know when I am paying close attention to something that this happening in front of me--- its like a heightened awareness and zoomed on focus on them... are they hitting it off? I can feel like others guys know what I am talking about, and women too... like in those moments your mind can't help to go to seeing or thinking whether there's a connection going on between two people, and how you may b...

Here we are again. Something new to name within me. An energy without a name, that is unique/different from the others. The name is Thrill. Its specific. Context: Seeing others Fight I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel thrill in seeing others fight I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel thrill in seeing others emotionally fight I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel thrill in seeing others physically fight I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel thrill in seeing others react with energy I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel thrill in seeing others speak in energy to one another in conflict I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel thrill in seeing others argue with one another within energy  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel thrill in seeing others get personal and attack each other with insults  I forgive myself for accepti...

So if you would have asked me, or if I would have asked myself, what Strength is Last Week.... I would have said/shown like standing up, being rigid, muscular, pushing, tough. But that's not all there is to Strength, and the current definition is not appropriate in certain contexts. So this is what I found, being gentle and embracing what is here, no matter who it is, what they are doing, what they said, what they lived, embrace and accept what is here, doing this.... doing this is the antithesis, the complete opposite to my average response of Strength. In the age of Donald Trump, that definition of Strength of being so masculine, being tough, pushing things through, being rigid, being sharp is clearly shown to be what is is. And that is the natural response for me. SO something that I have been doing unconsciously is breathing in sharply. In seemingly random moments. What I'm seeing here is this, that breathing sharply is me activating this strength, which plays out ...