Yogan's Journey to Life

When I write something, there is a sound to it. I mean this in a really practical sense. Even though I am not using my vocal cords, or "speaking" with my voice, I am speaking, but through written words. So there is a sound to what I am writing, as if I am speaking it. And I can hear this sound. Not with my ears but inside of me as I speak/write the words. Doing this, I can tell things about me. Listening to how I sound when speaking as these written words is just like listening to me when I am speaking with my voice. I can hear the hidden things within me, well they aren't really hidden because I can See it! Listening to my sound when I am communicating I can tell who I am in the real time moment. I basically can tell when I am not clear within me, and saying something tricky, or nasty, or dishonest. And I can hear when I am standing as what is best for all. I can hear when I am standing with clarity, and self-honesty. What I notice is that my body responds or more li...

So today I am reflecting on this world self-honesty. Now when I learned of this word self-honesty, meaning being honest with yourself, I made a note to myself to focus on the word. Why? Because if I am honest about what is going on with me and what is going on in the moment right now, then I have what I need to be me, to be real, to create my life. So I notice this particularly revealing itself in self-questioning. So when I ask myself questions. When I ask myself a question about what I am going through, or why I am doing something, there is already present a knowing that something is wrong/off. So this honesty, together with asking the right questions, which is also part of the honesty, makes for a really good pair/couple. The couple of honesty and questions. So just to play with this image... Imagine their is a couple, honesty and question. Whenever a question is asked, the answer is an honest one. That is ideal isn't it. Ideally everyone would be honest in every moment....

I have an ego. I judge and compare myself automatically with others. I even judge on how I do self-forgiveness. I judge having more longer or complex self-forgiveness as better. I feel validated when I write longer and more complex self-forgiveness. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have an ego. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare myself automatically with others. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge how I do self-forgiveness. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge that self-forgiveness that is longer more or more complex is better than a shorter or more simpler self-forgiveness. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to write longer and more complex self-forgiveness, in order to feel validated. When and as I see myself feeling validated when writing a long and complex in structure self-forgiveness- I realize that doing something that is more challenging, that takes more time and...

--> I had an interesting moment just earlier. Its difficult for me to write, probably in part for the same reason I am writing this blog. The reason being about this realization that I ask permission for myself to live, essentially. I ask permission to have my realizations about myself to be able to be lived and applied by me. I feel wrong and bad to even ask someone whether I can live and apply this realization I had on myself. This realization that I ask permission to even realize things about me. I see also how the same thing goes for asking permission to do bad things, where self-honestly I would not do those things, yet I want to from the perspective of the mind. Which is another layer, of the mind. And I can see how this asking for permission is really my mind granting itself permission. Where sometimes the mind may use a few words out of context to give itself permission (me) to do the thing it wants (I want). And I trust it, because I received permission, therefore ...