Yogan's Journey to Life

 So, there is this statement that we cannot control other people, but we can control ourselves and who we are with things around us. So what I see within that is Fear. Because we can actually control who we are with other people, and so we can stand in a way with other people that does control/determine the relationship with that person. Control= Power= Responsibility. Being someone like Bernard, like how he was in his agreement with another person, which is who he is in a relationship based on principles that is openly agreed to and discusses, that requires having that Control, Power and thus acting from the knowing that you are responsible for the outcome. You do it, because you know it has an affect on all. You do it because you know that this shapes reality and changes the course of the future for this person and for others.  Power is scary, like real power. Real power is the kind of power that can only come about when one Realizes ones Responsibility. Power that is acted ...

 On my phone with the shipt app open: an offered order pops up. I am reading it's details. I have thoughts: of my mom saying Yogan you have to take what you can get. Also thought of: the only thing that matters is making money. Which I feel stress while thinking this. Stress is like anxiety. My belly gets constricted, I feel this unpleasant experience in my belly. It's like I have to move quickly.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that the only thing that matters is making money. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to through thinking that "the only thing that matters is making money", thus accept the experience of stress and anxiety, for as long as I am making money, my experience of myself doesn't matter. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think: "I have to accept what I can get"  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel guilt within not accepting an offered order because I ...

She said: step in the circle if you are nervous that you’re in a new place. I hesitated to step in. I knew it was not true, but I was also afraid of standing out and not being part of the group. But I decided to stand back, and smiled. I felt nervous in standing out of the circle. The camp leader said ok. I noticed some eyes did look at me, but I focused looking straight ahead. The upperclassman next to me whispered in my ear that “you’re an asshole” I felt shocked, it struck a cord with me. I felt afraid. I suppressed that response and carried on my day with excitement. I believe I need fear in order to fit in. I believe I need to respond to fear, in order to be accepted and be like everyone else. I fear standing without fear, and so standing separately and differently from the group of people. I am afraid of not being accepted because I don’t have fear. I am afraid of sticking out and standing out from the crowd. I am afraid of not being liked. I forgive myself for acce...

So, I'm standing again in clearly seeing the Life that is here as me. What this means is that how I see myself is a being, a something that is life- if I create an imagination about it in order to describe it- it could be seeing myself/my body that is right here in his moment as I sit in this chair and type, and seeing that inner body as like a blue light that is my body. Its not about an image, but if I were to use an image it would be that. How I see myself is about seeing myself as life- meaning that I have no beginning and no end, that I am standing with and by every single part, particle, and speck in this existence, from the great to the small. So I committed to support every single part/person/thing in this existence- no matter who it is or what they have done. Because there are no enemies in reality/existence- there is just people/life that may be exercising power in accordance with their programming and in ways that is not what is best. But there is no enemy, there is no n...

An educational Program for Kids: either TV, Movie, Video, or computer program or both. Covering EVERYTHING: Do you want to learn about Electrical Engineering Click here! What is Electricity? Voltage? How to build a generator? What are the parts? Where does energy come from? How does the human body work? What are calories? What is the nature of everything? How does an engine work? How does insulation work? What is heat? How do the muscles of the body work? How does memory work? How does air work? How does X-ray works? How do microwave works? How does color work? How does the brain work? How does the sun work? How do plants work? how does water work? How does uranium work? How does cooking work? How does flavor work? How to make the best tasting foods work? What is fat? How come in schools its not mandatory to learn about Everything how the World works, and how things exist? Especially that which is right here, and immediate in our lives.

 Okay Im going to be laying out a System Design of mine, so read carefully. When I was 18, I already developed this system of Love where I can access that energy of Love whenever I wanted. It would be brought here literally in a moment. This speed and easy signifies that it was pre-programmed in my nature/design and that I practiced/accessed it heavily, across my life which I did. So the extent of this system is in the facts that I would spend a few moments/hours/days with a girl my age and then "fall in love" with her, which meant that 18 I said to these ladies that I will always love you, I love spending time with you, I will always be there for you, and its not only what I said, it was my presence. I oozed love at them. They knew that I loved them, even though I only met them, spent very little time with them. So in this way I initiated all of my relationships. I was the one who created the point. I manifested the relationship, even though at times it was the ladies who ...

So I have been looking at this question about why I wake up everyday. I am looking at the dimension of How I have Woke up in the Past, and Why and for what I woke up for in the Past. I am also looking at the dimension of Redefinition and what I would genuinely like to love, would love to live, what would serve me the best!!!!!!! So let's get started!!!!! I listened to this eqafe interview on Mood Swings, and it help focus in on how I can wake up in a MOOD and how that can affect my day. https://eqafe.com/p/moods-moods-and-our-daily-lives-atlanteans-part-505 And helping me remember that it all comes down to a choice. You are faced with a mood, and you don't want to do the dishes, and you decide to do it anyway, as yourself, as your body, with your presence, and you transform the moment of a bad mood to a simply physical doing that is calm, natural, good-feeling like in a very normal way. Like a very natural like doing. At the same time in the beginning you may have to real...

So why do I wake up everyday? What am I living for? So there are many things that I live for, things that I want happen, and things I want to live. There are people that I want to meet, and to meet again. There are people that I want to know. I want to establish ties with people, connect with them. I live for meeting specific people again one day, and I live for developing and Deepening my preexisting relationship however way I can. I live for getting to know the depths of people. So I live for that human connection, that animal connection, that connection with nature. I want to see people succeed and do well. I live for the moments with people where we are all relaxed and open and just being ourselves and having fun. I live for those moments with people. I seek to create those moments where possible, but at the same time I only have so much say. So it very much depends on the people. Practically in my everyday life, I am seeking to earn lots more money so I can be able to brin...

So I have been called Courageous one too many times to ignore it. So here I am going to dissect it from a real time moment. So looking at this moment I am within here. I am courageous in just speaking/doing because I am willing to walk a point ALONE. I am willing to speak up and say something because if I am ALONE within it I am okay. So that means if everyone turns their back on me, and I mean literally everyone, I will be okay and stand the point. Now the most dangerous point within this, is the fine line where you don't go into Ego, and don't cut yourself out from other people's support. So the basic SOLUTION to prevent this danger is to always listen to others and test out what they say. And trust in that testing process. And here is another danger, whether your testing out is a REAL testing out. So the danger is whether you fake test things out or don't have that rigor and self-honesty to really test out the truth/reality of things. So developing that habit/d...

So, having met some Destonians that I have known for like 9 years for some, that its like HOLY SHIT. I don't know them. Like really KNOW them. And that's how it is. Now one VERY specific and PARTICULAR point that I am going to zero in on is the image and face of a person. Now, using one person as an example, if I look at photos of their face on facebook, all of my judgment and preconceptions on WHO that person is based on how they look, how they smile, their facial structure, their eyes, EVERYTHING, is just completely and FLAT OUT WRONG. I am wrong in my assessment of who they are, based on image. So obviously the question is why then do we do this? Why do I do this? Because that goes to show you CANNOT trust the image at all to tell you who the person is. You cannot. Its not trustworthy. And that is Interesting isn't it? I mean really look at it. Because we are all the time judging based on what we see. All the time. We do it so often and so regularly that we forget ab...

So I'm starting a Journey of letting go of my past. There are several dimensions to this, as it is a broad thing, the Past. One dimension I am tackling now is simply all my relationships to every person, including my mother, brother, essentially every damn person. Because something I have been doing is keeping a history of our relationship in my mind, something VERY SIMILAR to how the game Sims works. In Sims you can form relationships with people and gain points, as well as milestone moments, good and bad. Essentially there is a relationship HISTORY programmed in the game. So as you get your sims to make relationship with people it keeps track of things. See here INHERENTLY is the problem when it comes to real life. At the same time though it is a VERY GOOD simulation of how we are operating in our relationships. So its a good copy cat of how we behave actually, which also means its a bad way to actually live. We are not living in our relationships in a very good way. The prob...

actions, and gifts, or opportunities i gift myself with or take. Or moments that I gift myself with. It can be a moment of sitting down in front of a natural view of nature, rows of trees, while people nearby talk/play. It can be a moment of going out to dance the night away, no matter what others think or may being, just dancing by myself alone, not needing permission or approval, just doing it for me. It can be a moment of laying down, and breathing, being quiet. It can be just giving me something, like cooking a well made meal or dessert. It can be giving myself something I need like water or sleep. It can be giving myself the time to do something, all the time that I may need, plenty of time to work through something. Loving myself is a verb, is an action, is a gift I GIVE to me. That is when its real.  You don't think it. You do it. You live it.

My purpose and Meaning.  My purpose is to work a 40 hr a week job, pay for my needs, give money to support the desteni process, in so doing I support with money the development of awareness in people/humanity. My purpose is to share myself online so that others walking process may be supported. My purpose and meaning is to express myself creatively as dance, music, art, singing, play, writing, joking, etc... I live my meaning and purpose everyday.  Who I am? I am my body, my being, my self-expression. I am the work I do, and the money I give. I am the song I sing, and movement I dance. I am the words I write and speak. I am the work I do, the blogs I write, the people that listen/read my words. I am expression. I am the support I give and receive. I am my job, my work, what I give to others. I am the moment I express in and live in. I am the process I walk to bring awareness within me, and within others. I am the self-forgiveness I speak and commitments I make. I ...

Sometimes we ask what our purpose and meaning is in life. Our purpose and meaning is each other and life itself. Our purpose and meaning is to live for ourselves, each other, and everyone. To live this life, live in this body. To find a way where your actions will accumulate to improve the quality of life of everyone. Our purpose and meaning in life is each person. Our purpose, our mission, is to live with each person, stand with them, walk beside them. It is to hold each person within you. It is to hold yourself within the palm of your hands. Do good. Live good. Foster life, nurture life. Provide. Give. We can recreate this world so that all may have. We can recreate a town so that all may have. We can recreate the land beneath our feet so that it can provide for all. Our purpose is to enjoy every moment and to spend every moment living the responsibility of being able to do good, and live well with everyone. Money can be used for good. We can create, build and farm the thin...

When you go on vacation, there is this phrase: unplug yourself from your devices. So turn off your cell phones, or leave behind your laptops and smart phones. Disconnect for a while, unplug yourself... Here, we are looking at unplugging yourself from the world system. To explain this I will tell my story. I am didn't grow up connected into the world system. I was part of a family, where I grew up learning about the thoughts, and the mind, and meditation and yoga. I didn't have a clue about the real world system, and I didn't have a clue that I didn't even have a clue. hahahahaha. You are not aware of what you are not aware of.... until you actually see things from the other side. So during the last few years I have been undergoing a process that I wasn't exactly aware of what I was doing. I had a goal, a need, and a drive for an outcome, which involved being a part of the world system, working with people, working in a job, making money, dealing with all the...

Why should I walk the Desteni Process? The Desteni process is the process of facing your mind. Your mind is a complex system that generates your very thoughts and very emotions and feelings. The process of facing your mind is simple. So the process is simple, but the mind itself is complex. All you have to do is to stop the mind in this moment. You can stop the mind in this moment through self-forgiveness, as one tool. As long as you stop the mind in this moments and all future moments, then you will progress inside yourself. Your progression is to take back the responsibility and functions that your mind has taken over. Currently your mind takes on very important life functions. Your mind makes your decisions, it leads you down into relationships, it leads you down into addictions, it leads you down any path where it can further itself as a mind. Your mind is essentially living your life. So much of what we have lived as Humanity has been a lie. Yet it is our lie and our responsib...

So I am the process of finding work. And something I thought of doing is to take an aptitude test. I found something interesting. In the aptitude test, I saw that my Strengths and skills are in math, analytical thinking, logic, reading, writing, solitary work. My weaknesses are social interaction, working with people. The aptitude test also asked what my interests were. I looked down the entire list. Nothing interested me. The closest thing is Philosophy. So in the list there were things like economics, finances, construction, everything. The one thing I would like to do is help people become better, to become more aware of themselves, and learn. That is my interest. The aptitude test then asked me what my preferred working environment is. I love working outdoors, I could work outdoors the entire day. I love it. That is my preferred working environment. So to summarize my ideal job would involve 1. Strengths- Math, analytical thinking, numbers, logic, mental labor 2....

There is a responsibility for those that have access to life experience to share it. If you have experience, knowledge or training that protects you from harm, you have a responsibility to share that with those who don't have it, so that they are protected. If you see someone who is naive, and lacking the knowledge, you have the responsibility to support them to learn so as to protect themselves. IF you have knowledge or training that helps you to do something faster or better, you have the responsibility to share what you know with those who don't know so that they can do something faster or better. Otherwise, they won't know and they maybe will learn after making many mistakes, maybe. So if they harm themselves because they didn't know, it is your fault/responsibility for not sharing the information. If they choose to not listen or apply the information, you have the responsibility to insist, and even to protect them from themselves. If you allow them to harm themsel...

So I was doing some self-investigation today and I realized something. I was looking at human connections, and how I haven't realized that connections between people is something that is out of my control, or at least not completely in my control. Because what I am seeing when I reflect on my past is that I have a grievance in relation to perhaps 100 people, or many many people that I have met and known, where I wish, want, and blame myself for not keeping the relationship here, for it ending or not going further than it had. Though now with having a more discerning eye and self-honesty, I can see how in fact that for all human relationships that the connection you have is temporary. So for example I can see how 2 people meet and have a connection, and that connection will last any amount of time, it can be a second, a day, a week, a month, a year, or more. That initial connection forming is out of the hands of the people. For example, someone can't decide just to have a con...

Right now, I am attempting to secure a position at a sudbury school, and to work there long term. Why? So there are many reasons why. The work doesn't pay very much, so it isn't for the money. The first reason is that who I am as a person fits well in this school. So how I naturally am as a person. Open, honest, considerate, listening to others, being playful, making jokes, helping others, but also knowing when to be stern, especially when someone is doing something that is harmful/wrong, but also patient, mostly, though I am not perfect. Also working at a subdury school is unique in that my principles of equality among people, is applied in practice by having each student of each age, being equal under the rules and with the power to change those rules as anyone else, including me. I also have a high regard for the potential awareness and intelligence children can possess when they are respected, regarded, and given the ability to question, learn and understand through the e...