Yogan's Journey to Life

She said: step in the circle if you are nervous that you’re in a new place. I hesitated to step in. I knew it was not true, but I was also afraid of standing out and not being part of the group. But I decided to stand back, and smiled. I felt nervous in standing out of the circle. The camp leader said ok. I noticed some eyes did look at me, but I focused looking straight ahead. The upperclassman next to me whispered in my ear that “you’re an asshole” I felt shocked, it struck a cord with me. I felt afraid. I suppressed that response and carried on my day with excitement. I believe I need fear in order to fit in. I believe I need to respond to fear, in order to be accepted and be like everyone else. I fear standing without fear, and so standing separately and differently from the group of people. I am afraid of not being accepted because I don’t have fear. I am afraid of sticking out and standing out from the crowd. I am afraid of not being liked. I forgive myself for acce...

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge another as bad I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as bad I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge another as good I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as good I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge/evaluate a person as good or bad based on their actions/decisions I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge/evaluate myself as good or bad based on my actions/decisions I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge/evaluate "what is best for all" as good I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge/evaluate people who speak and say "what is best for all" as good I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge/evaluate myself as good for speaking "what is best for all" I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hat...

I really like the movie Moana. It is made by Disney. I like the Water. I observed the water specifically. How the water acted is how I act with children. It is my philosophy of the best way to work with kids. You guide them and step in only when you are needed. And knowing when to step back. Making the statement Knowing when to step in and knowing to step back, you might be like WTF???? But at the same time, ask yourself, YOU, do YOU ever step back or hold yourself back when your working with kids or with your own kids. Or do you every time just step in naturally. If you never step back, then know your probably messing things up, lol. Cause for SURE there are moments to step back. For sure. Without a doubt. So, The water steps back and you get to see who Moana is. You get to see Moana make her decision, you get to see Moana realize who she is. You get to see Moana lead herself. When Moana gives up the water accepts. When Moana is ready to fight, but isn't strong enough th...

--> I had an interesting moment just earlier. Its difficult for me to write, probably in part for the same reason I am writing this blog. The reason being about this realization that I ask permission for myself to live, essentially. I ask permission to have my realizations about myself to be able to be lived and applied by me. I feel wrong and bad to even ask someone whether I can live and apply this realization I had on myself. This realization that I ask permission to even realize things about me. I see also how the same thing goes for asking permission to do bad things, where self-honestly I would not do those things, yet I want to from the perspective of the mind. Which is another layer, of the mind. And I can see how this asking for permission is really my mind granting itself permission. Where sometimes the mind may use a few words out of context to give itself permission (me) to do the thing it wants (I want). And I trust it, because I received permission, therefore ...