Yogan's Journey to Life

I have needed to just call a halt on everything and take things slower. This occurred physically to me, cause I got sick. I can tell that I got sick because of stress, because before I got sick I was dealing with a lot of stress. Basically I don't have time for everything I want to do right now. And I had been trying and pushing to get all of these things done. But its just not possible. I have to give myself time, plenty of time to do things right and well. Just making the statement that I'm going to be pushing back my deadlines and giving myself more time, already lifted some of the weight. But I also had to tackle some of the reasons why it exists. Why was I doing this? What about me thinks its okay to push all of this stuff on me to get it done as fast as possible? I know that before starting working in my jobs, so when I was in college still and then younger than that, I was different. I would have always taken things slow and do things Right. That is my preference. ...

This Eqafe interview: https://eqafe.com/p/compassion-gives-you-your-life-back-life-review Helps me to understand this 'Passion', this 'Anger', this 'intensity' that is not a positive experience within me, where I am focusing on Existence, on what is best for all, on the problems in the world and the solutions I see we can do. By focusing on the ALL of Existence, I am not looking for my positive experience, my energy, my mind, my thoughts to participate in them. How I found this interview was by going to the Eqafe search bar and typing in what I was interested in, in what question I had. So I searched for 'Anger' to find perspective on this Anger within me that was not positive and it relates to when looking at the World, the best for all that can be done. The way I would describe it is that I am putting myself into action. I am writing my blogs, I am doing what I can online, I move and act and contribute to bringing forth the world that I want to...

So the other day I learned something. This relates to the point of Manipulation that I face and the point of being alone. So basically I change when I am completely alone. When I am completely alone, all the reactions I am having to things in my environment, mainly people drop.  So basic truth is I am not YET fully ME, living me, without reaction, and comfortable enough to express my Real expression, in the face of rejection and resistance of people. Across my life, whenever I express myself FREELY and REAL, people judge me. They make fun of me. They tell me I am WEIRD. This has an effect on me. I react. I want to one day be strong enough where I don't react at all and I continue being me.That day is not here. So basically, here is the lesson, that we each need to spend time alone for part of the day or week or just whenever you need it. Because this alone time you will allow yourself to express your real self, and real expression at least part of the day/time. If you don...

Time to share a story... of a man who with a great desire, had created his own trap/prison. So this man, since a young age had a desire to have a partner for life, a twin flame, a soul mate. He had spent a great deal of time fantasizing, hoping, wishing, with various potential suitors in his life. They were his secret crushes. None of them came to fruition. It wasn't until he was 18 and entering college did he have a real chance. And indeed, it did come to pass. In the beginning the relationship was great, wonderful, amazing. However, suddenly and unexpectedly there came a moment where he had lashed out within anger. Earlier that day he had wanted his partner to do something for him. And when he didn't get his way he became spiteful. And so later on in that day when that same partner wanted him to do something for her, he gave her justice, and denied it. He spoke spitefully, he spoke in anger, and he justified it because he didn't get what he wanted. The partner reacted...

Previous Parts  My story: why I support Living Income Part 1 So continuing where we left off. It was during that time that I started searching on the web/internet for topics/words/phrases that I had feeling might lead me to some answers or new realizations. So there I was searching, and so willing to see/read something new, because what had been applying thus far, meditation, and stopping thoughts, wasn't working. And I was really determined you know? Like that is ALL that mattered, which was to change my experience of myself, permanently, not just for some hours, days, or some moments through some methods. I mean because that is what most of us do right? I mean, let's be honest here, that much of what we do in our free time is to make ourselves feel better for a while. Whatever it may be, be it drinking, drugs, gaming, partying, pornography, or whatever. I mean it can even be something that isn't so controversial, but it is still something we do to make ourselves fe...

I am writing on another point for the purpose of bringing my attention to it, and incorporating it within myself. So someone spoke this point, and I was familiar with it, however it was like something novel because I had forgotten about this point. Everyone can be successful and achieve success. Everyone can be intelligent. Everyone can be a winner. Everyone can be a millionaire. Everyone can have it all. Everyone can achieve happiness, the real one, because we all already have the deluded one. So those words say it all, there is no real competition and the people around us are not really the competition. The only competition, if there was one, is ourselves, and it is an artificial an illusionary competition, since it is often created as a resistance within us. At the same time, competition can be lived as a word of self-support, within the knowledge and acceptance that everyone else can too achieve the same results you have, and that you can also achieve the same results others ha...