Yogan's Journey to Life

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of being soft and gentle. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear connecting with other people. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear connecting with someone who got angry in a moment. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hate people who get angry. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get angry at a person when they reacted and they were angry and taking it out on me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react with anger when someone feels insecure and is getting angry and is blaming me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not instead become soft, become gentle, and become supportive when someone is reacting with anger within insecurity and is blaming me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give up when someone is reacting within anger and insecurity, and so give into my own anger...

What comes up within you when speaking, reading, hearing the word Self? Self refers to your self. Are you complete, whole? Are you fractured? Fearful? Worried Happy Sad Joyful What is the word or words? Whatever the words are it doesn't mean its good or bad. What matters is whether you were even aware of your relationship with yourself. What matters is that you have that connection with yourself. What matters is you KNOW what you feel. What matters is that you have that connection BECAUSE then you can actually make changes. Fact, You cannot change yourself without first knowing yourself. You have to Know thyself. Self is not something you can really categorize. Its not good or bad. It just is. You can be separate from yourself. You not know yourself. You can suppress yourself. You can abuse yourself. What words do you live with yourself? What changes can you make, or need to make to make things better? Are you happy with yourself? Maybe you need ...

There are a million different abuses and problems in the world. Oceans are dying, the Earth is dying, children are dying and being abused, animals are dying, greed, violence, and an economic that perpetuates it. And on and on.... I am the meaning of Life. Saving the planet is not the point. Saving the world is not the point. Saving children is not the point. Saving the animals, the waters, the people are not the point. I am the point. I am a child. I am a planet. I am a water, a people, a earth. I am an animal. Am I saving me? I am living in emotional turmoil and suffering. I am living in abuse. What am I doing about it? Where is the value for the life that is me? How I treat me, isn't that how I will treat others? Is it possible to do what is BEST for others, even when I am not doing what is BEST for me? I may be thinking I am saving others or doing what is best for others, but is that not from my limited point of view if I am still abusing me, putting me through hel...

Losing your Purpose in Gaming https://www.facebook.com/events/813442582038134/ So in about 1-2 days, I will be on a hangout on gaming possession. While during this hangout I will be discussing possession of gaming, and the negative side effects of this addiction. I would like to focus on this blog particularly on a completely different point on my gaming experience. While there are lots of positive and negations attitudes I have towards gaming, there are some practical points that I did learn and found useful in gaming. In general my attitude towards gaming is a mix of shame, embarrassment, guilt, on one end, and on the other end excitement, thrill, enjoyment, and fun. For the negative spectrum, I have this voice within me that says gaming is childish, and shouldn't be done by adults, and makes people stupid, and is something that is a waste of time. Particularly because of this side, I would like to point out, what lessons I have learned and applied from the games I have play...

I feel inadequate. I feel not good enough. This is what I feel when I think about writing today for my JTL blog. Its the end of the day now. I was painting my aunt’s old house, which will now be rented. I am helping to paint it which is more because it’s a family favor. They could pay someone to do the work, but they say they don’t have money. When I look at what they spend sometimes, to me they seem to have money. It seems to me that everyone is very greedy and willing to abuse others to have the most money, even if its very little. I wouldn’t paint it for money, I wouldn’t paint it all, especially if they would have the money. Of course my family, like what seems like everyone else, has a large debt. All because of stupid selfish reasons. Many americans are stupid, and waste so much money. I mean they waste their lives away too with other things, which they buy with money, like relationships, vacations to Disney World, or music, parties, dances, clubs, strip clubs...

Desteni group. - insane, immature, possessed, untrustworthy, child-like, children, crybabies, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think the desteni group is insane, immature, possessed, untrustworthy, child-like, childish, a crybaby. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use reality as an excuse to think a thought over and over, and not stop the thought, because the thought is an "accurate judgement of reality." I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that a thought can be an accurate judgement, because accurate judgement would require that the judgement be made without bias, and thoughts have energy charges, which create a bias that is not based in reality but is a learned association of something in reality to the emotions and feelings within us. I commit myself to remove all charges that are a reactive consequence to associating energy to a thought, which itself is made in relation to reality, using words, pi...

Today an interesting point came up, where I was asking why i was a certain way, and I said that it does not matter why I am like this, what matters is what I am, who I am, right now. Within that some things came up of who I am, and that I can change who I am. The part of why is relevant only so far it informs me of who I am. Though why is not so important. It is bottom line, who I am that matters. Within that I gained power to change some things instantly, that came up, to say no, simply by recognizing who I am in a moment here (nervous), and then moving myself to change. So this is where oneness and equality comes into play, by recognizing what is you, you gain power to change you. So in the same way, seeing this reality as you,  gives you the power to change reality as you. The change happens on a who you are level, which requires following through on a practical level. Who are you and what will you do about it? I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to picture mys...