Yogan's Journey to Life

  I am going to be making some absolute statements here: First, what matters more than anything is this one process I am walking for myself. Meaning that I have these ideas and pressures of needing to give something to the world and to many people, and that I need to have success or leave an impact. So I'm saying absolutely that my individual process is more important and it comes first. So who I am here in the body is what matters. My fears, my emotions matter in that I must direct them, and that any excuse or reason of wanting to leave an impact through career or money or something in the world is unacceptable. So what comes first is this Self process, and so the Truth of me. Who I really am in the moment. What fears I am accepting and allowing? What anger? What emotions are here? If I die and no one knows me or remembers me. If I leave no legacy. If all I do fails. What I am saying is that none of that matters and what matters is this one thing: Self, and my process of s...

There's a lot that I have been walking in my mind that is complex/complicated to share in a way that it will be understood without being judge or misunderstood. But I will in this blog share what I can while focusing more on the principle of the points, and so trying to avoid confusion or judgment from people because then it would prevent the readers/people from assimilating the message/lesson. There is a technique employed that involves me visualizing a person who I know I have a reaction to. So I visualize them and I try to see them as me as one and equal in that my imagination naturally turned to the point of hugging them. So here I am observing my own mind, and my own reactions and I am utilizing what I am seeing as a way to inform me of the reactions so I can align the points. I will know if I am understanding the misalignment if I can finally realign the point. So in the imagination they would be stabbing me in the back as I would try to hug them. So my first step here was ...

So, I'm standing again in clearly seeing the Life that is here as me. What this means is that how I see myself is a being, a something that is life- if I create an imagination about it in order to describe it- it could be seeing myself/my body that is right here in his moment as I sit in this chair and type, and seeing that inner body as like a blue light that is my body. Its not about an image, but if I were to use an image it would be that. How I see myself is about seeing myself as life- meaning that I have no beginning and no end, that I am standing with and by every single part, particle, and speck in this existence, from the great to the small. So I committed to support every single part/person/thing in this existence- no matter who it is or what they have done. Because there are no enemies in reality/existence- there is just people/life that may be exercising power in accordance with their programming and in ways that is not what is best. But there is no enemy, there is no n...

I am starting this Blog, with a Vlog... haha that rhymed! See below: So continuing on this point. I have seen how throughout my life, I very much cared about many women's opinion me and what they said to me or about me, cause of my interest in potential partners or women, since I am naturally aligned to desiring and being with a woman. So I can see how past girlfriends how what they said to me, I took it to my heart, deep into my heart. If they had a criticism of me, I kept it deep here in my heart, like a scar. It is there. It stays there. And its alive, and sensitive like a fresh wound. I remember one woman saying: Yogan! You don't know what you are doing! You want to change! But you haven't lived it yet! I took that to heart. I didn't stop to consider it or question it, or look who I am in relation to it. I immediately believed it, and believed her. Cause I cared about her opinion about me. And it made me feel real bad. Very bad. Like I am bad. She is rig...

Creating a Relationship of LOVE.....  in order to get the SEX. Making a relationship with another human being on the premise of LOVE.... so that I can get to have Sex with them regularly. Convincing them that I love them and want a long term relationship with them...... so that I can have sex with them as the Reason why. The reason why I create a relationship with a person and tell its for Love, and that I love them.... is to make them agree to sex. I speak loving words to a person, and make them feel like I love them, because I want to have that physical sex, because sex feels meaningful, and it gives my life meaning. The truth of Sex is that it is meaningless entertainment. Sex has no meaning. Sex is meaningless. There is no meaning in sex. Sex is only temporary entertainment. Sex does not deepen a bond between person. Sex does not make one reach higher planes of consciousness. Sex does not make a relationship stronger or work. Sex does not bring two people together....

The value of a Friend. The value of someone who sees into the same depths as you, that very few can. The depths of this reality The depths of the Self. The depths of all the selves The depths of all life The depth of what it means to be alive The depth of what it means to really live. The power of the self The beauty of the self The creativity of the self The potential of the self The potential of all life The specificity of all of this, in written and spoken word, shared and lived in the moment, in the physical flesh, here to be heard with your own ears spoken from the lips of a body. Real. Here. Not a memory, not an image, not a past... here and real. There are many levels and variation of Friendship... but this kind of friendship is most special, most important. It is a friendship bound by this process, by the very Life itself, the very physical itself, with the understanding and manifestation of LIFE here in the flesh. In full awareness, in t...

So I have been looking at this question about why I wake up everyday. I am looking at the dimension of How I have Woke up in the Past, and Why and for what I woke up for in the Past. I am also looking at the dimension of Redefinition and what I would genuinely like to love, would love to live, what would serve me the best!!!!!!! So let's get started!!!!! I listened to this eqafe interview on Mood Swings, and it help focus in on how I can wake up in a MOOD and how that can affect my day. https://eqafe.com/p/moods-moods-and-our-daily-lives-atlanteans-part-505 And helping me remember that it all comes down to a choice. You are faced with a mood, and you don't want to do the dishes, and you decide to do it anyway, as yourself, as your body, with your presence, and you transform the moment of a bad mood to a simply physical doing that is calm, natural, good-feeling like in a very normal way. Like a very natural like doing. At the same time in the beginning you may have to real...

So why do I wake up everyday? What am I living for? So there are many things that I live for, things that I want happen, and things I want to live. There are people that I want to meet, and to meet again. There are people that I want to know. I want to establish ties with people, connect with them. I live for meeting specific people again one day, and I live for developing and Deepening my preexisting relationship however way I can. I live for getting to know the depths of people. So I live for that human connection, that animal connection, that connection with nature. I want to see people succeed and do well. I live for the moments with people where we are all relaxed and open and just being ourselves and having fun. I live for those moments with people. I seek to create those moments where possible, but at the same time I only have so much say. So it very much depends on the people. Practically in my everyday life, I am seeking to earn lots more money so I can be able to brin...

Link https://yoganjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/04/ I know that for other people, they may not get my connection with my first blog post online. Let me try to explain why the moment is special for me and why I revisit it sometimes. There is a purity to someone just starting their process, and posting online for the first time. There is a simplicity, just like a baby or child. There is a purity, a innocence, a good-will of intent.There is also that first step of bravery where you are going public, you are exposing yourself, you are writing something personal and real. My first blog post didn't seem like much, but for me it was. I was REALLY MEANING and standing behind my self-forgiveness. I meant every word, and I wrote it, spoke it, and lived it very deeply within myself. I remember where I was, I remember the feel of the room, I remember the orientation. I remember the emotions and feelings, I remember just the moment. I really had in that moment the intent and will to wa...

So I have been watching the videos from DODO that share videos on facebook, that I see while scrolling through facebook. Its all about animals. Its hard to put in words . There are people that care about animals, that GIVE UP their lives and self-definition and money to take on a NEW self-definition and Life that is about raising, caring for the animals, to the utmost degree. You can call this real Love. real Care. This is something I would do. And this is the BEST of Humanity, and the human spirit. https://www.facebook.com/yogan.barrientos/posts/10217804753097519?__xts__[0]=68.ARDxH-SH1CSRhDgwSC_7AU3P6b5Vr42GnyvReMxOLUmFPJdcK7AAvifRiTgJw_XEbqfXcIeKyADbKKC7oO7vvYa4tbaDPh8UTKzn2xtEjIEjIeqAyx8s6TvlWbvUafJeT0L_XUJmAWu6cN00eeiovQC0wgGhtWrZ90GytVyQLN9w-dGunPL48abcFqxnsBY7aTaXfFkuGM5HQyMvJUoStFYZdaVWHyMHIOdCnw8&__tn__=-R https://www.facebook.com/yogan.barrientos/posts/10217804171682984?__xts__[0]=68.ARCEY943k6BB42k5tK1X_y8ucFiis9sCOiuUfiC1k-9i67Px1wX9dhn7816DeRKp_xMUe-kQVOpc7rQrddG_...

This blog post may not be so great. The thing I worked on today involves my relationship with my mom, at an early age. She was my root, my connection to this world. She was my world, my sun, my everything. I felt like I connected to her, I felt understood, I felt I received attention. And when I was not with her I noticed the difference. When I started school, I notice most people, or  really no one gave me that same attention and treated me that way. What I can observe now is that as I met people that actually in some way did give me attention and was nice and kind to me, I started really liking those people, having crushes on them, or just wanted to hug them. You have to understand that I felt so much love for my mom, then I would love to go up to her and hug her. And I related to some of my teachers this way. But why is this? Why feel this way? Because what happens later is the relationship falls apart, where I start talking about things where she doesn't understand. I sta...

So I have been reviewing my life and what I am realizing now, within my recent years the point of how I placed my desire of wanting to connect with people, to have social skills, first before what is best for all. So I did just that during the last 3 years after graduating college. I went after what I wanted. So this influenced my decisions where I tried to work within a sales position, to develop social skills. Then I worked at a school, also as part of my desire to connect with people. The result of placing my desire first before what is best for all meant that I choose things based on what I wanted, not what is best for all. I could have instead first placed what is best for all first, and then within that life path I could along the way get what I want. But then when I want would not come first or before what is best for all. So this is my lesson. Also really, in sales, I wasn't getting what I wanted, which was to really connect with people, intimacy, on a equal and one level...

So I saw someone online that I haven't seen for years. And it seemed like their life was over. They had a great success, but then everything crashed. And now they are back, and they are different. Yet still themselves, and obviously matured and obviously had learned something and gained something in who they are. While I did enjoy who they were before. I enjoy who they are now, and the differences. Its really a surprise for me. And now in a time where my life is again changing, its nice to see an example where someone changes and overcomes difficulty, and sticks to their decision, and the part of them that is real, even if that part changes and becomes difference, thanks to the difficulties and challenges, even if one initially failed at them and fell, but one did pick oneself up from them to learn. So learning is about making mistakes, is about seeing what it is about you that is causing problems, and changing it, to create solutions. And one very obvious thing about this pers...

So I had a dream last night... a nightmare, which reveals something quite relevant and true which we all as people today may be going through in some way or another throughout our daily lives even if it may not be apparent or obvious at first. So how can a nightmare be something in my daily life? In my nightmare, there was this gigantic robot that's sole purpose and desire was to freeze human beings using his ice cold freeze ray. To essentially kill. Throughout the nightmare I was escaping the robot. This went on for a while. I was hiding in different locations and running into various people. I felt terror. I was running away trying to go to the least likely location that the mad killing robot would find me. At the end of my nightmare, he does find me when I expected to finally be safe. If felt like no matter how hard I tried or what I did, there was nothing I could do to run away, to change my fate, to give myself a different life, a meaningful life. I didn't have control o...

Right now, I am attempting to secure a position at a sudbury school, and to work there long term. Why? So there are many reasons why. The work doesn't pay very much, so it isn't for the money. The first reason is that who I am as a person fits well in this school. So how I naturally am as a person. Open, honest, considerate, listening to others, being playful, making jokes, helping others, but also knowing when to be stern, especially when someone is doing something that is harmful/wrong, but also patient, mostly, though I am not perfect. Also working at a subdury school is unique in that my principles of equality among people, is applied in practice by having each student of each age, being equal under the rules and with the power to change those rules as anyone else, including me. I also have a high regard for the potential awareness and intelligence children can possess when they are respected, regarded, and given the ability to question, learn and understand through the e...

This post will be an expansion of A Practical Application: The Egg Boundary 285 A Practical Application: The Egg Boundary 285 A Practical Application: The Egg Boundary 285 A Practical Application: The Egg Boundary 285 A Practical Application: The Egg Boundary 285 So we will be exploring a slightly different but very important application when it comes to this Egg boundary we all have. So taking the metaphor of an Egg one step further, what is inside an egg? On the outside you have the shell. Inside the shell you have the potential for a chick. So this potential requires many different factors to be present. It requires fertilization, but also care, warmth and protection, as well as time. So the same is with each of us. We each have a potential. To develop that potential takes time, but also the right actions and conditions. So last time we were looking at how the application of seeing one's boundary helped dispel illusions that somehow transgressed the boundary. Th...

I would say that the following statements most people will react negatively towards: 1. I don't need anyone. I don't need people. I can live on my own. I am happy with just myself. 2. I embrace people as myself. I see them as equals with me. I can learn from them, and they can learn from me. 3. I don't see the use of love, or relationships, except for childrearing, and in this world for economic survival. Otherwise you can just work with someone as equals in any other endeavor? And sometimes you can make an agreement to be exclusive so that you can have sex safely. But the other 99% of things you can do outside of relationships, right? 4. Most people don't understand how things work, and if they do understand then they are either taking responsibility or they are not taking responsibility. Who are the only ones innocent in this? Well the children, until they come of age where they have the awareness of what is happening in the world. What I believe happens, and I...

My living definition for enjoying doing some work/task/project is morality oriented, meaning if I think, believe, perceive that I am a good person for doing this work/task/project, I enjoy myself doing that project, and I do it willingly, and so relatively well.   Furthermore, whether I believe some task/work/project will indicate that I am good/bad, it will depend on what someone has said about that task/work/project, or has given sufficient information where in my mind I will construct that belief. It is like my mind is built to search out in the world and determine what are the good actions, and what are the bad actions, and to act what is good, and the method is what I describe, through seeing what is defined as good by what is already here in this world, including then the people that are alive in this moment. Can I honestly trust anyone to be able to give me the information on what to do? No. Because of the condition of the world right now, and h...

I went to Art Basel today in Miami, Florida. I was asked what interested me, or what art drew my attention. I didn't really have an answer to that question at first. But later after I saw a picture that had a message of equality, I had an answer. Art that interest me is the content of the art, the message, the why. Because art otherwise, without that content, core and message, is meaningless. Its just entertaining, emotional, or, frankly, superficial. Art to have meaning requires depth, and to have that depth requires a message or principle, essentially the depth of your real being, which is your oneness and equality point, your connection to Life itself, to everyone. If you lack that point, what you do will be empty and superficial, not just art, but everything. So its important to see that yes, art CAN have that depth, through standing for a principle, the integrity of you, standing with and as everyone. Because what is art, but just a medium of communication. Writing is a...