Yogan's Journey to Life

She said: step in the circle if you are nervous that you’re in a new place. I hesitated to step in. I knew it was not true, but I was also afraid of standing out and not being part of the group. But I decided to stand back, and smiled. I felt nervous in standing out of the circle. The camp leader said ok. I noticed some eyes did look at me, but I focused looking straight ahead. The upperclassman next to me whispered in my ear that “you’re an asshole” I felt shocked, it struck a cord with me. I felt afraid. I suppressed that response and carried on my day with excitement. I believe I need fear in order to fit in. I believe I need to respond to fear, in order to be accepted and be like everyone else. I fear standing without fear, and so standing separately and differently from the group of people. I am afraid of not being accepted because I don’t have fear. I am afraid of sticking out and standing out from the crowd. I am afraid of not being liked. I forgive myself for acce...

So I am walking a process now, specifically with loneliness. It will be a process meaning this is something that won't change instantly, and I plan on doing several blogs on this point, at least 3. So right now, today, I am using the support of the Eqafe interviews. Specifically from the Atlantean series: Loneliness: Why does it Exist? - Atlanteans - Part 127   So my plan is to write out my realizations, insights, and self-reflections here that I had today, and to do so for tomorrow or the next day which I will also be listening to the next part in the series. Doing this I will give myself time. So for today, these are my points. I see how indeed loneliness is an emotion that is defined as "it is not okay to be alone." Meaning that I have lived this as it being alone is something negative. This means that I have indeed been feeling negative when I am alone. This also means that when I would interact with people, that I did so within the desire to flip this polarity from...

 So I listened to an interview. I was able to relate to the exact words shared in the interview, and I would like to share my experience https://eqafe.com/p/lost-your-true-self-life-review So because of the interview, I have made the decision to be myself. Be myself meaning that I will contact everyone I have ever met, and anyone else that I can meet, and test out who really sees me, and understands me, as I express me who I really am. With those people I can build a relationship with. I already know that I am a really great person, I enjoy myself immensely, haha. And I learning/doing by being myself, and seeing how people respond. I am learning that what I called friends was something shallow. There are particular people that see me, its not about friendship, its just about how someone sees you. Its strange, but its also clear, and perhaps easy, now that I see it. So I know what I need to do know. Just be myself and meet as many people as I can. Out of that just see how they r...