Yogan's Journey to Life

Image: Beauty, women, I had trouble looking at the woman that lived in the apartment. She was young. And I found her attractive, and by that I mean that I reacted to her. I felt nervous, shy, scared but in a desirable way. I wanted to look at her, but I felt these emotions. I don’t even know her. I felt intimidated by her appearance. I felt valued/judged by how she would have responded to me. I feel like she would have placed value in how I valued/judged her appearance. I didn’t speak to her, and I looked away, avoiding eye contact. So what I am seeing is that I am having a large value placed in how she looked, and with that I would place value on myself based on how she looked at me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place value in how a woman looks, and to place value on how she looked at me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel nervous, shy and scared when there is a woman that I am valuing highly, like with beauty, re...

Today, I woke up. I went to Ikea with my mom. We ate breakfast there. She bought some things. We came back home. I saw my dad a bit. I watched a hunger games movie with my sister. So when I was in the Ikea store, I saw this blond haired girl. She was with her family shopping. I felt a reaction. I felt nervous. I looked away, I avoided eye contact with her. And as she turned in another direction, I felt more comfortable: at peace, to now look. I saw she had black-rimmed glasses. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel nervous when seeing the blond haired girl. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to avoid eye contact with this girl. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel nervous when I was in a position where I could look in her eyes and she could look back.   I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel comfortable when I was in a position to look at this girl without her being able t...