Yogan's Journey to Life

Today, I faced a strange design. I was in a situation where someone was giving general advice, that wasn't directed at me, but when I read it, I took it personal, and I reacted to it. I saw it as myself not following her advice and within that I started feeling guilty. When I broke down the moment this is what I found: At first, I had the Nothing Energy. From there I press the Energy down, and that turns into guilt. If I were to press the energy up, it becomes a high euphoric experience. When I first read her advice, immediately, many different memories were activated, all connected by how I was not following her advice, as evidenced in her memories, and they were connected by failure, where I deemed these memories as being my failures, and I deemed these memories as where I gave up. In reality these memories are not failures or giving up. Yet, that is what I was judging and believing to be the case, as part of this design. This all happened in one moment. So there is part of t...

Today I made a list of things to do. I had started with the idea, “what if I lived the same day everyday” and saw how good that can be for me, if I lived such a wonder-full and full day. So that was my starting point, to play pretend, as a fun way to write the list, and I would be making the commitment to repeat each thing every day. As a practical matter, some things on the list can only be done on specific days of the week, such as taking out the garbage or watering the plants only when it hasn’t rain in a while. But I still wrote those kinds of responsibilities or task, because I could then at least check whether those conditions for those tasks have been met for today. So I started with waking up, as both an action and an event of the day. So when I wake up I will have a routine to accomplish. When writing the list I was not strict in having to do things in that order, however, while I am practicing performing these tasks, I will go in order until I have integrated the t...