Yogan's Journey to Life

So based on what I have seen so far on the U.S. Presidential election, Kamala Harris is obviously better than Trump. A potato is better than Trump. What is most interesting to me is Kamala and the future she will bring. Based on her astrology, she will help bring in healing. She actually reminds me alot of my dad's wife, my stepmom. She also worked for the government an in a law enforcement type position, and there is a similar aura of being very trustworthy, following what is best for people, and helping others. A true service person. When I read people, I do it with like a sense of who someone is. Its similar to how when I am dreaming and I know it is someone I know, even though they look nothing like the person, I know its them. And so those qualities of a person I can pick up on them.  I am reminded of a moments where I have gone into conspiracy theories, before encountering Desteni. So I am empathize with people who engage in conspiracy theories. I do find is strange though th...

When I had my First Friend, I was around 7 years old. I remember that being the first time that its like I decided, or knew that this person here is my Friend. This was the first time, and it was very clear and strong that I felt this way and became this way. So this programming was here and established. And it was very specific, because I went over his house for one day and that is where I decided that point. And so after that day I never saw him again. Because my mom told me that he had moved away to the UK. It was sudden. The news was sudden. And I never said goodbye or saw him again. I was shocked and surprised. Devastated really. And it became a point of where I was right at the point of where I could express myself with a Friend, and have all of those expressions and points come through and it was all just immediately shut down and taken away from me. It was like losing my Friend and being powerless about it. I didn't have any say about it. I couldn't stop it. It...

Link https://yoganjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/04/ I know that for other people, they may not get my connection with my first blog post online. Let me try to explain why the moment is special for me and why I revisit it sometimes. There is a purity to someone just starting their process, and posting online for the first time. There is a simplicity, just like a baby or child. There is a purity, a innocence, a good-will of intent.There is also that first step of bravery where you are going public, you are exposing yourself, you are writing something personal and real. My first blog post didn't seem like much, but for me it was. I was REALLY MEANING and standing behind my self-forgiveness. I meant every word, and I wrote it, spoke it, and lived it very deeply within myself. I remember where I was, I remember the feel of the room, I remember the orientation. I remember the emotions and feelings, I remember just the moment. I really had in that moment the intent and will to wa...

A thirst for expression. To say inappropriate things. To say the things that try to make people react. To dance on roof tops!  To blow bubbles obsessively even though I'm an adult. To bang pots and pans together! To dance incessantly around people! To build something creative, colorful. To engineer something amazing beautiful, a structure like a magical tunnel full of glowing lights! To engineer a full size maze!! To throw fire crackers. To build a giant hamster wheel! To run around a small circle for no apparent reason! To hop everywhere I go, not walk!!! To walk backwards everywhere I go!!! To skip everywhere I go! To walk sideways like a crab everywhere I go. To take tiny footsteps and take forever to go anywhere like a snail. To walk/navigate with my eyes closed!! To scream and run!!! To point at someone and chase them down! To tackle hug a friend!!! To Lift hug a friend!! To Tickle a friend!! To sneak up on and scare a friend!! To ...

So I am the process of finding work. And something I thought of doing is to take an aptitude test. I found something interesting. In the aptitude test, I saw that my Strengths and skills are in math, analytical thinking, logic, reading, writing, solitary work. My weaknesses are social interaction, working with people. The aptitude test also asked what my interests were. I looked down the entire list. Nothing interested me. The closest thing is Philosophy. So in the list there were things like economics, finances, construction, everything. The one thing I would like to do is help people become better, to become more aware of themselves, and learn. That is my interest. The aptitude test then asked me what my preferred working environment is. I love working outdoors, I could work outdoors the entire day. I love it. That is my preferred working environment. So to summarize my ideal job would involve 1. Strengths- Math, analytical thinking, numbers, logic, mental labor 2....

For the past 2-3 Weeks I have been making vlogs. So check out my Facebook page under my videos or See my Youtube Channel: Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCY4LU4QVg06KgqTCMkNUtUQ Facebook Videos https://www.facebook.com/yogan.barrientos/videos_by Today I did a vlog that relates to my early childhood. Children: Afraid to be Myself

So recently someone pointed out how I don't have fun in my daily life. So for the past three weeks I have been testing out what is fun for me. Today, though, I have reflected on the point of when did I have the most amount of fun? When was I mostly happy? The answer is when I was a child, before I was like 6 years old. So why is this? What is the difference between then and now when it comes to fun and enjoying myself? At that age I didn't have the self-judgments I have now. I can see right now how I can potentially act and speak, where I would be oozing fun within me and completely enjoying this moment. But I know that if I do that, people make comments and say things about me. At least that is what happened, and why I stopped. For example, I could go running in a zigzag snake movement in the part, throwing my hands in the air, jumping, frolicking, skipping, swinging on trees, laughing, rolling on the grass, tumbling, looking at the sky and clouds being completely still, c...

Previous posts My relationship to myself. Origin Story Part 1 My relationship to myself. Origin Story part 1 My relationship to myself. Origin Story Part 1 My relationship to myself. Origin Story Part 1 My relationship to myself. Origin Story Part 1 My relationship to myself. Origin Story Part 1 So like I have shared in my previous post, I am walking a pretty massive point, and I have decided to take it each individual point that makes up the massive collection point, one by one. So yesterday we looked at something very specific that I saw myself participating within it. I will share today what I have done since then which has been to apply the corrective change. So the main point that I opened up yesterday was that I was brainwashed on how to think, how to act, etc... so the correction is to decide, to direct. So that is what I have applying. Now I know it sounds simply to just say the words, decide or direct. So to describe in a little more detail the challenge th...

So I am faced with a really interesting point that is a really unique opportunity. This is a big point that I don't understand. So what I am seeing here is an opportunity to walk through piece by piece and it being a cool way to walk something big that I don't understand in a series of blogs. I haven't walked something so big, at least in a while. And given how comfortable I am now within writing, I am now able to walk it in a series of blog in this way, even when I don't have the full point walked yet for myself. So this will be a cool opportunity for real time walking and writing. So the above is my little introduction, and I will say that the following course is what has helped me or supported me to write and investigate myself, if you are interested in doing the same. Desteniiprocess.com So basically I spent a long period of time with someone yesterday. Who this person is in relation to me, is obvious to me as being very important to this point. This is a par...

Getting my hair cut. So today I got my hair cut. I have had a pretty strong reaction towards haircuts, entering into a mini possession, of fear and anxiety. So today I faced this reaction and was able to calm myself down, and focus on what I could practically do in the moment. Part of the thoughts behind this anxiety is about getting a bad haircut, and also the point of no return, meaning when my hair is cut then it is cut, its too late. I have a particular childhood memory where I ended up crying after a haircut that I didn't want to have. So, this time, I looked at what I could do. I knew I couldn't really do much. I can only speak to my hair cut person, to let them know what I wanted. I didn't have control over them, and how they were going to act upon my information I am conveying to them. So there was an element of trust, and letting go of control. At the same time of course, I could check and see whether I liked the progress thus far, and of course completely stop ...

Losing your Purpose in Gaming https://www.facebook.com/events/813442582038134/ So in about 1-2 days, I will be on a hangout on gaming possession. While during this hangout I will be discussing possession of gaming, and the negative side effects of this addiction. I would like to focus on this blog particularly on a completely different point on my gaming experience. While there are lots of positive and negations attitudes I have towards gaming, there are some practical points that I did learn and found useful in gaming. In general my attitude towards gaming is a mix of shame, embarrassment, guilt, on one end, and on the other end excitement, thrill, enjoyment, and fun. For the negative spectrum, I have this voice within me that says gaming is childish, and shouldn't be done by adults, and makes people stupid, and is something that is a waste of time. Particularly because of this side, I would like to point out, what lessons I have learned and applied from the games I have play...

Connecting with my dogs. I accessed my memories of who I was when I was very young. By accessing these memories I am accessing both who I was and who I could be. I have always had the potential to connect with people, animals, and plants. And I have done so in the past, during the years as a child. By accessing my memories of who I was when I was young, I can again do the same, and perhaps more. Because I was always limited in how much I connected with people, animals and plants, in my past. And now looking back I see that. So what I am seeing is the potential to connect even more. When I connect with plants or my dogs, I become silent, and I focus on myself, what is here. My emotions are not activated, and my experience of myself isn’t fluctuation, but instead it’s continuous and steady. There is a connection formed, one that is firm, and clear. I may enter the mind, which involves thinking, but I can bring myself back here. Entering the mind becomes obvious be...

So to further strengthen who I am and my position, I will be writing out the programs that my mother and father have given me as a child. Each program I can already guarantee, do not assist and expression of Life as who I am here, as all as one and equal. The closest my parents ever got was to oneness, and this oneness was not equal in all parts, it was still a hierarchy of specialness. So I will start with writing out all the programs first, I mean shit, within me, and in subsequent blog posts I will walk each program from start to end, with self-forgiveness, until its done. Ok, so one program is the "your just a child, you don't know anything program." Your just a child, you don't know anything So adults often think that they know more than children. Now this is mind-boggling to me because adults were children once. And I as a child remembered knowing more than the adults often in very basic living things. So its actually in reverse at the moment, children kn...

          One of the hard things for me to admit is that I am a product of my parents, both environmental factors and biological factors such as genetics. My mom told me a story that I was an old soul, so I would like to believe I am who I am because of being an old soul. But I know that's not the case because everything that I learned or accepted who I am to be was based on the choices that my parents or teachers gave me. For example, my mom never paid me money to get straight A's. She instead told me to learn for myself, or get good grades for myself. So I followed this program, I listened to my mother. I never considered learning as a way to support myself practically in this world or learning as a way to support others practically in this world. It was something I did for me, to define me, that I am someone who learns in the classroom and in the tests. I just did it, lol, strange, huh? If I didn't do it, then I wouldn't...