Yogan's Journey to Life

Remembering my life and who I have been. I have been many different persons. I once was a person very much in love and obsessed with one person. I remember all the love and pain I felt. I was in so much emotional pain. Remembering the emotional pain I felt, it feels like no physical pain would mean anything in comparison to that. This is my evidence that love is the real evil. I once had the relationship I wanted. I had lots of sex. I felt close, intimate. Then I found out the person was someone who was not committed to me. I realized that I made a mistake. I realize I needed to change. That is when I started Desteni. I was ready. I remember being like 7 years old and sad. I remember being happy in regular class, and when I moved to gifted class everything changed. the kids in regular class were friendly and sociable. The kids in gifted class were super serious and intimidating. It was like being in military school, or where everyone was a robot. I remember feeling just weird, ...

As a child i was brought up expecting myself to be a savior. My parents had told me i was an old soul. So i formed a belief about myself that i was somehow more than others. For no apparent reason other than i was an old soul and so acted more mature. This was certainly an act. So i notice that in my writings i am very self-assuming. yes well this is abusive because it assumes and i really have not investigated points thoroughly in detail. Now having understood this about me i must now change this about me as it will lead to consequences i would rather not create. i notice how this has influenced my general writing even for school where i would think what i write is good, but without considering how it was good, i would only feel that it was good. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use feelings to judge whether something i written as good. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing emotions and feelings while seeing what i write. I forgive myself for accepting...