Yogan's Journey to Life

Revenge of the Ego is a recording Bernard did. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wNwExWTsSXM And I see an explanation for something I went through which happened through an unexpected way. Bernard used an example of a relationship and how in the beginning of the relationship it was pure, and real. And how slowly over time the ego inserts thoughts that make you doubt it. Is this the right person? Is this where I am supposed to be? Is this the right place? And how it sabotages the whole point. So what i am seeing is that this happened to me, but with my career choice and goal. Because in the beginning I was happy, and excited, motivated, and willing to walk it and looking forward to it. But then it slowly went into doubt. Is this the right goal? Is there something else I should be doing? Are these the right people? And I can see how it fell apart, and how the ego took me to the point where I would give up. And like Bernard said that its more advanced than me, the mind is more s...

I have observed within myself how the words "I don't know" have been a instrument of disempowerment, of shame, of inferiority, of problem of stress. So, I decide to embrace the self-honesty of not knowing so as to empower myself, and change my relationship to the truth of not knowing. What I see is a vast history within our relationships where those who know are regarded as more valuable. For example knowing the answer to the questions, knowing a subject like math or history, or knowing what you want to do with your life etc... To say, I don't know is like a sin, at least that is how we treat ourselves, and so others. We teach to our children that it is a sin to not know something. This is most well shown within the role of being a teacher, which is not restricted to the paid profession, but includes any or all interaction where one becomes superior within what one knows and speaks from that superiority. A life lesson I have learned is that wherever superiority exis...

I know! I know. I knowwwww!!!!!! I know, I know, I know. Stop telling me, I know!!!!!!! I don't know what I am doing. I don't know what I am going to do. I don't know!   Have you ever felt this way? I have. I felt stressed, annoyed irritated, shameful, confused, lost, worried, afraid and despair. Why does this happen? The best thing to do is to look at a memory to figure out this question. So I remember when I was learning to drive and my father was teaching me. He was telling me something I already knew, so I told him I know, I know! I felt annoyed irritated and angry. I didn't like him telling me something I already knew because I FELT that he thought I didn't know that, and I FELT stupid in his eyes, even though in reality that is not the case. So I let what I felt as a reaction get the better of me in that moment, where I trusted this insecurity and self-judgement that rose within me. I know that this is connected to time in the classroom where I judged ...