Yogan's Journey to Life

I want to see the world change. I want to see everyone standing up, coming together, and change how things work. I want to see people being selfless by doing the work, making the sacrifice/commitment to the work and positions within a society that does what is best for everyone. I want to see the young people standing up, I want to see the old generations standing up. I want to see everyone from every background and culture uniting for this one purpose; our common ground, which is the land we stand upon. That we fix the money system, that we cover all the holes that leak. That no more do people fall through the cracks into poverty into making decisions that are bad for them that go against their real talents and life purpose. No one should have to work to make money to survive.  Survival is outdated. We haven't had to survive for centuries! We have been living in an age of abundance for so long. At this point survival is artificial, its not real. But we have been accepting and allo...

Previous Posts: My relationship to myself. Origin Story Part 1 My relationship to myself. Origin Story Part 2  So we are continuing with this massive point. You can reach the previous posts to catch up. So what has occurred now recently, is having me look at the fear and anxiety within this point. I notice it on a physical level. Where throughout my body, including my legs, back, and shoulders, I was very tense. I actually had a headache, and I spent a good deal of time figuring out why I had a headache. I finally narrowed it down to the tension in my muscles. This reveals how unaware I am of the tension that my body takes on, specifically with this point. So with this significant person, I am having a reaction to them. Why am I reacting to them? So yes, they are a parent figure, and what I see clearly is an fear and anxiety of making a decision, which I have made, that they would disapprove of. It's a very simply and very common point. Have you ever feared making a deci...

So you have heard that the decisions you make have lasting impact on your future. You may have even made certain decisions that changed your life drastically, and that you may regret deeply. So I recently am recognizing and seeing a particular decision I made, which I hadn't fully taken responsibility for and turned out to be a really bad decision, and within/from the consequence of the bad decision, it not only was a bad decision, it also affected who I am, my confidence and my ability to make good decisions. So I realize that this may sound confusing, so let's start with the situation. So when I was 18 years old I entered into my first relationship. This point of a relationship forming was the results of years upon years of thinking, imagination, hoping, desiring, emotions and feelings. So in that sense I created it and the consequence was inevitable. So I was ready and willing to enter into a relationship with ANYONE. So I essentially had no standards, really. So within...

So today, I am looking at how I present myself in the system as my preprogramming. So the question is how do I present myself in the system, by default? So I had a telephone conversation just now. I had called to set up a doctors appointment. I notice how I spoke by default, because I was seeing how I could express myself. So within this process of expressing myself, I will be facing my preprogramming in how I expressed myself for much of my life. I can say I have a familiarity with this, yet at the same time I do not intimately know it. This is why I am writing this blog right now. So I present myself as someone "professional." For me this means being very collected, non-emotional, straight to the point. Also "on the job." If you ever worked with me on  project you would see this clearly about me. I am focused on the work that needs to get done, and this is how I become. So how did I develop this personality or presentation of myself? Through school project...

So an existential fear activated within me, as part of a larger playout in my day. This fear is about failure. However it is the ultimate failure. So its the fear of me, completely absolutely failing. To what degree? The absolute degree. So meaning, that I have no effect at all on this reality. No success, none. That I die, basically, without accomplishing anything, and making things better as part of what is best for all. So it could involve me imagining that I die, tomorrow, or in a few years, and the decisions I am making now, were the wrong decisions. Do you have a reference for this fear? So in looking at this, one self-honesty point was immediately apparent. And that is I have already have had an effect on this reality and within alignment ot what is best for all. So that was a misconception of the fear, or shall I say a distortion of reality or the truth. Now here comes the other part, which may not seem so pleasant. With the future, and with making decisions, yes it is pos...