Yogan's Journey to Life

 So in a way continuing from my last blog, except looking at it from a view of placing expectations on myself. So my parents places expectations on me as becoming a great spiritual teacher. The way they would treat me and talk with me, telling me directly about my great insights, and how in my astrology chart I was meant to uplift people spiritual and be a great teacher for humanity. My name Yogan was from a story book that was new agey about a guy sent to earth to do just that. So I accepted this narrative. Just like how we all accept and allow all that the mind has told us and said what we are, and also similarly what others tell us too, which the mind just repeats to us doesn't it.  Acceptance and allowance is what we all do aint it the truth? So preprogramming or not, as a child with the platform to speak and to observe, its very obvious the things people are going through. And since I was encourage to find the truth and to help others, that is what I did. Anyway could do ...

Aloneness is highly valuable. I realize that the space of aloneness that I had as a kid where its like I could be alone with me and my body even though I was in a entire classroom of people. And with that aloneness I was untouchable, I was safe and free, and more so I had Me. I could Imagine scenery and things happening. I was secure and safe. And no one was pestering me, stalking me, bothering me. No one was after me. I was left alone,  I was respected. But having someone stalk me, go after me, pester me constantly, and me accepting and allowing that is not okay. I have to fight and defend my right to be left alone and at peace. Fuck off! Leave me be. I want to be alone. I don't want to talk with you. I don't want a relationship with you. That Aloneness is sacred. And that aloneness does depend on money. Owning your own space on this earth. Unfortunately that is how it exists, but we have to fight for equal money so all may be free to be alone and create. Being respect...

This blog post may not be so great. The thing I worked on today involves my relationship with my mom, at an early age. She was my root, my connection to this world. She was my world, my sun, my everything. I felt like I connected to her, I felt understood, I felt I received attention. And when I was not with her I noticed the difference. When I started school, I notice most people, or  really no one gave me that same attention and treated me that way. What I can observe now is that as I met people that actually in some way did give me attention and was nice and kind to me, I started really liking those people, having crushes on them, or just wanted to hug them. You have to understand that I felt so much love for my mom, then I would love to go up to her and hug her. And I related to some of my teachers this way. But why is this? Why feel this way? Because what happens later is the relationship falls apart, where I start talking about things where she doesn't understand. I sta...

When I had a partner I told her that I love her equally. We were talking about how come we loved each other, and I told her, "In truth I know that I could love anyone equally, meaning that it just happens to be you, but it could have been anyone." Suffice to say, NO ONE, in present times, would want to hear that. What do people want to hear, they want to hear how you are special, how you are so beautiful, so wonderful, so precious. My father even tried to teach me that. So this is no secret. But I didn't do that in that moment. For me, I tried not to add any energy to the relationship. I tried to maintain oneness and equality. Because relationships based on specialness or unequal love, is a lie. If you love anyone more than anyone else, that is a lie. Equal love is true love. Equal love is loving everyone equally. This isn't a grand statement. You don't try to increase the energy within you to feel love for everyone. You actually decrease the energy within you...

For the past 2-3 Weeks I have been making vlogs. So check out my Facebook page under my videos or See my Youtube Channel: Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCY4LU4QVg06KgqTCMkNUtUQ Facebook Videos https://www.facebook.com/yogan.barrientos/videos_by Today I did a vlog that relates to my early childhood. Children: Afraid to be Myself

I am not a parent. I don't have any kids. But I am worried.... So to explain why this is, I will start with some of my experiences the past 7 months. I have been working at a Sudbury school with children ages 6-12. Now, perhaps a few people in the world can relate to this, but it feels as if some dormant unconscious parental fear has been activating within me. Almost like a programmed put there by nature within all of humanity. But in my case, I am not a father, so this worry I am experiencing is being triggered through the role/position I have been in, where I do watch out for the children's safety. For parents it might seem natural to feel this way. However, because of my life experience, and so frame of perspective, I know that this worry/fear I am experience is anything but natural. Logically, it makes sense to experience worry and fear if your environment is truly threatening. Which if we look at the genetic history of humanity, there were periods of time, not so long ...

J'en ai des frissons... Posted by Jeremy Demay on Saturday, May 17, 2014 So in the above video, I am observing a very interesting point that I myself participated in. That is, believing that children are merely inputting and outputting everything we tell them, and that we are shaping them. So here I am questioning this point, because this is a very common belief, where all of our parenting guides and school systems are using this belief to teach and shape the children into what it is that is right, good or best. Now, having spent time with children who specifically have the freedom to explore themselves and their world, I am having a different point of view that is quite obvious actually. So with starting with the obvious, there have been many people that have grown up in abusive home environments, some that I know personally. These people all learned from their home environments and abusive parents, to not be like their parents, and to be different. This meant, n...

Previous Posts: My relationship to myself. Origin Story Part 1 My relationship to myself. Origin Story Part 2 My relationship to myself. Origin Story Part 3 So I do believe that I have now seen the source or core of this massive point. But I won't know it until I walk it real time here in writing. So basically what I see is a complex point. This view or understanding of it as complex is probably why it is such a influential point. So let's see if we can simplify things for ourselves. We will start by describing the situation. So you know when you say something and someone get's upset, angry or emotional? So was this because of you or them? What's your final answer? So right now I can tell you that you can't give me an answer, and if you believe that you had an answer, then I say to take a good look because this the complexity I was speaking of. So basically without further information, you can't know whether it was because of you or them. I mean, hon...

Previous Posts: My relationship to myself. Origin Story Part 1 My relationship to myself. Origin Story Part 2  So we are continuing with this massive point. You can reach the previous posts to catch up. So what has occurred now recently, is having me look at the fear and anxiety within this point. I notice it on a physical level. Where throughout my body, including my legs, back, and shoulders, I was very tense. I actually had a headache, and I spent a good deal of time figuring out why I had a headache. I finally narrowed it down to the tension in my muscles. This reveals how unaware I am of the tension that my body takes on, specifically with this point. So with this significant person, I am having a reaction to them. Why am I reacting to them? So yes, they are a parent figure, and what I see clearly is an fear and anxiety of making a decision, which I have made, that they would disapprove of. It's a very simply and very common point. Have you ever feared making a deci...

Previous posts My relationship to myself. Origin Story Part 1 My relationship to myself. Origin Story part 1 My relationship to myself. Origin Story Part 1 My relationship to myself. Origin Story Part 1 My relationship to myself. Origin Story Part 1 My relationship to myself. Origin Story Part 1 So like I have shared in my previous post, I am walking a pretty massive point, and I have decided to take it each individual point that makes up the massive collection point, one by one. So yesterday we looked at something very specific that I saw myself participating within it. I will share today what I have done since then which has been to apply the corrective change. So the main point that I opened up yesterday was that I was brainwashed on how to think, how to act, etc... so the correction is to decide, to direct. So that is what I have applying. Now I know it sounds simply to just say the words, decide or direct. So to describe in a little more detail the challenge th...

So I am faced with a really interesting point that is a really unique opportunity. This is a big point that I don't understand. So what I am seeing here is an opportunity to walk through piece by piece and it being a cool way to walk something big that I don't understand in a series of blogs. I haven't walked something so big, at least in a while. And given how comfortable I am now within writing, I am now able to walk it in a series of blog in this way, even when I don't have the full point walked yet for myself. So this will be a cool opportunity for real time walking and writing. So the above is my little introduction, and I will say that the following course is what has helped me or supported me to write and investigate myself, if you are interested in doing the same. Desteniiprocess.com So basically I spent a long period of time with someone yesterday. Who this person is in relation to me, is obvious to me as being very important to this point. This is a par...

Getting my hair cut. So today I got my hair cut. I have had a pretty strong reaction towards haircuts, entering into a mini possession, of fear and anxiety. So today I faced this reaction and was able to calm myself down, and focus on what I could practically do in the moment. Part of the thoughts behind this anxiety is about getting a bad haircut, and also the point of no return, meaning when my hair is cut then it is cut, its too late. I have a particular childhood memory where I ended up crying after a haircut that I didn't want to have. So, this time, I looked at what I could do. I knew I couldn't really do much. I can only speak to my hair cut person, to let them know what I wanted. I didn't have control over them, and how they were going to act upon my information I am conveying to them. So there was an element of trust, and letting go of control. At the same time of course, I could check and see whether I liked the progress thus far, and of course completely stop ...

Would you vote for all babies receiving food, housing, and healthcare backed by your country? All babies and children would receive food, housing, and healthcare. How much do the mothers and fathers love babies and children? Do you think the parents of your country would vote that every baby and child to receive food, housing and healthcare? When would you say that you became an adult?  At what age do children grow up? Would you vote for all children receive food, housing, and healthcare, until they grow up into an adult? I support that my government provides food, housing, healthcare of the highest quality for all babies and children. Vote for the Life4Children today!

Father Daughter ‘shot in head’ called 911 after father ‘massacred family’ "A Queens dad massacred his family early this morning, marching from room to room, shooting his two daughters, his girlfriend and her mother in the head before later killing himself, police said." Oh daddy!  So what is the father/dad construct. So I am not speaking about being a father, however if I were a father I would probably live and integrate this father/dad construct because it already exists within me, so it is prepared to enter into position. So then how is the father/dad construct existent within me. Well, believe it or not, I am relating to everyone in certain relationship constructs, here are some examples: Mother -all females that are old enough Sister Friend Girlfriend -all females that are young enough Father  So as you might have observed one of the main point that distinguish whether I treat a female like a mother or like a girlfriend is their a...