Yogan's Journey to Life

 People people will hurt you, cut you, punch you, make you cry, steal from you, make of you... make you laugh, cry with joy and love, sing, dance, play around, become goofy, explore different parts of yourself, smile and feel overjoyed! I always knew when I would open up to people that it would get to me. That I would have this thing which seems like weakness. Its gonna suck. Its gonna hurt. And I know it. I am in uncharted territories, I mean there's no guidelines here or rules on how to be or what's best. I only have myself in this. Am I making a mistake with this? Do I know what I am doing? I don't know. But I think that's its okay that I don't. At the same time... at the same time it feels right. Its my unique way of relating to people and supporting people. Its my expression. I guess. God it sucks, it sucks so bad to be kicked, to be screwed with. But at the same time its so good to connect, to reach out and laugh and say something. So FUCKING good....

Recently I wrote out this phrase,  "When you are really faced with the Heat of yourself, the Darkness, and the Deceptive Light of yourself.... no one's motivation or words will be the saving grace.... its all you baby! haha. We need Self-Willed individuals.... and that process is like the formation of diamond. Its under a lot of pressure and takes time." And the specific words, the Heat of yourself is specific. It encapsulates and captures a very nice meaning, and real time moment with the Mind and reactions that I have lived and I'm sure humans everywhere have lived/faced. I would like to unpack this to bring attention to it, for it may assist others and its a very nice reference for that. I also will cover the solutions as well and taking responsibility as well. Facing the Heat of Yourself I notice that Heat is very much connected to two things you have Romance/Love, getting caught up in the heat of the moment... and also the moment when you are in a heated a...

Here we are again. Something new to name within me. An energy without a name, that is unique/different from the others. The name is Thrill. Its specific. Context: Seeing others Fight I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel thrill in seeing others fight I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel thrill in seeing others emotionally fight I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel thrill in seeing others physically fight I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel thrill in seeing others react with energy I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel thrill in seeing others speak in energy to one another in conflict I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel thrill in seeing others argue with one another within energy  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel thrill in seeing others get personal and attack each other with insults  I forgive myself for accepti...

So the next step in my blogs is to address the situation when you are faced with people who have used Confidence to manipulate you. Like how I said in previous blogs, people/humans are not aware, they are minds. So your mind systems moves to manipulate others with Confidence as one technique. When I am faced with people who have manipulated me, I feel anger. I feel irritated, annoyed. I feel rage. I feel blame. It is just pure anger. So this blog will be about how to, lets say forgive others for abuse they have done to you. The simple answer is that in order to forgive others, I really just have to forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel anger, irritated, annoyed and to blame them. Because I realize that people are not aware. They are acting out their programming. And yes they did manipulate me, and you could say the following:    if they had known better, if they had been aware, if they hadn't manipulated, then I would have gotten back some years in my l...

You only accept and allow someone to do something to you, if you already have been and are accepting and allowing yourself to do it within yourself. Self is the key. Self holds the key. You are the Key. When someone yells at you and you react, its because you have been yelling at yourself within yourself already. If you stop all yelling, all abuse within yourself that you do to yourself, then no amount of yelling or abuse can cause you to react or feel anything. You are whole and complete. Right now we are not whole and complete. We are fractured. Right now when we see the abuse in the world, we react. Right now when we see people yell, scream, hit, abuse, gossip, we react. We react because we are doing these things to ourselves in our heads, with our thoughts, with what we feel. Reaction is feeling/emotion. You are feeling something about something. When you stop your own abuse, stop your own feeling something about something, within yourself, then you are free. T...

Imagine, hearing the sound of people that you loved and cared about and were completely committed to, making sounds of wanting you out, cheering for you to be gone, being completely against you and knowing that the reason is because someone is manipulating them and telling them lies. Imagine, the first person you ever kissed, who you were completely committed to, and wanted to be with and spend time with, telling you that they don't want to spend time with you anymore and that you are a burden to them. Imagine that you blamed yourself. There is absolute suffering, hell, devastation within you. You heart is shattered. Your in constant suffering within yourself. You feel remorse and grief. You feel pain and anguish. You want to cry from the pain you feel.   You are traumatized. You are stuck and frozen in time. Do you have any preparation for this? Is there anyone that can actually assist you properly? Because getting angry, wanting revenge and blaming.... are not an...

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of being attacked and hurt by someone's words. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of arguementative, attackative, aggressive, angry people. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of someone becoming arguementative and attackative in response to me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of sharing, speaking, and writing, because I am afraid of someone being arguementative, attackative, aggressive in response, and I fear that those responses will hurt me emotionally, where I react with feeling inferior, hurt, belittled, feel less than, pushed away, isolated, alone, dumb, useless, worthless. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame someone else for how I feel. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame the words that someone else spoke or wrote for making me feel a certain way. The Frogivenes...