Yogan's Journey to Life

What do I feel? Fear. What do I fear? I fear losing access to people, to being cut off and shut out. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing access to people, to fear being cut off and be shut out. How do I feel now? I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear standing without fear. Nothing. I am remembering my day. There were moments where I was angry, irritated, yet I did self-forgiveness or I pushed for stopping the fears, emotions, anger. I succeeded in feeling nothing again and in acting/doing what is best for all, I went beyond my limitations. I pushed for integrity of my doing and not for money. In the nothingness, I am home. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear taking responsibility for other people and this world, through who I am in absolute detail. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear going into the depth of a person and seeing all of who they are and all that is here within my ...

There is a very interesting mind system that seems best described as a personality within me. The reason why personality is because its basically like a person or has a personhood to it. It has a flavor and it has a presence to it. And its a personality within me because its like Dr Jekyll and Mr.Hyde, its something hidden, and when it is here it is like I am a different person. The reason why I am making it seem so dramatic or so extreme is because it is. Because when I started to open this up really, I was suprised/shocked yet at the same time not, that I was laughing and smiling about things which I would never do. So what I am saying is that its not something I was conscious of, to extent of being fully aware enough to even say it exists, or even say it is how I am describing today/now/above, like with the words of it being a personality within me, it being like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I didn't see it like that at all. Until now. What is interesting is now I have that awar...

Revenge of the Ego is a recording Bernard did. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wNwExWTsSXM And I see an explanation for something I went through which happened through an unexpected way. Bernard used an example of a relationship and how in the beginning of the relationship it was pure, and real. And how slowly over time the ego inserts thoughts that make you doubt it. Is this the right person? Is this where I am supposed to be? Is this the right place? And how it sabotages the whole point. So what i am seeing is that this happened to me, but with my career choice and goal. Because in the beginning I was happy, and excited, motivated, and willing to walk it and looking forward to it. But then it slowly went into doubt. Is this the right goal? Is there something else I should be doing? Are these the right people? And I can see how it fell apart, and how the ego took me to the point where I would give up. And like Bernard said that its more advanced than me, the mind is more s...

This morning I reflected briefly how I was having a series of perfect moments, where all was really good and going well. I saw I was having some perfect moments. And when I saw this I immediately felt a fear, because in movies and tv shows, and other stories, whenever things are going its BEST, that is when something bad happens. So I felt a fear immediately that something BAD is bound to happen next. So my reaction went from fear to kind of suppressing ignoring that I was having such perfect moments in my life. Then I caught myself. I ended up doing self-forgiveness on this fear, and I went back to embracing/seeing and simply recognizing that I was having some really good moments, a series of them all one after the other. I embraced that and went on my day. The result was that I was really enjoying my day/time. And in a way, kind of giving that joy and relaxation to others, where I smiled and was relax while saying hi. I did have other moments of challenge, where what was ...

actions, and gifts, or opportunities i gift myself with or take. Or moments that I gift myself with. It can be a moment of sitting down in front of a natural view of nature, rows of trees, while people nearby talk/play. It can be a moment of going out to dance the night away, no matter what others think or may being, just dancing by myself alone, not needing permission or approval, just doing it for me. It can be a moment of laying down, and breathing, being quiet. It can be just giving me something, like cooking a well made meal or dessert. It can be giving myself something I need like water or sleep. It can be giving myself the time to do something, all the time that I may need, plenty of time to work through something. Loving myself is a verb, is an action, is a gift I GIVE to me. That is when its real.  You don't think it. You do it. You live it.

Much of the Mental Health system is about the Reactive side of things. So like you won't be going to a mental health counselor to get the pointers to maintaining a good mental health. Some synonyms here in this context for good mental health could be: greater self-understanding, more directive in your life, a more stronger self, more perseverance, more courageous, not letting emotions/feelings take over your life, not falling into addictions, being more physical, enjoying the simple joys of life more, enjoying your body more, being more here and attentive to your life, have a deeper more intimate relationship with yourself. So in general, how we define mental health counselors, psychiatrists, and psychologists is that we go to them when we are really sick or really messed up in the head. We don't go to them for advice for proactive ideas for improving ourselves, but for reactive solutions to problems that took years upon years to create, or problems that arose from a traumati...

Reference: Bernard's blog post h ttp://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2017/06/day-573-practical-living-explained.html www.Desteni.org

Love is now a feeling I can identify clearly within me. I can see it within me as a trigger to this video game. I can see it trigger when watching this or that movie. I can see it trigger in my memories with this person. Love is a feeling, an energy, which doesn't need to exist. Looking at how it works, how it exists within me: it is triggered by various media. And the moments that I felt love as a feeling with another person, was also triggered by the moment, by the situation. One memory where I felt love as an energy was when I was laying down and holding my girlfriend at the time, the bed was comfortable. The image of the place was perfect. And I felt the energy I generated within me attached to this moment. What is interesting about feelings is that they are attached to only particular or specific moments. For example, you won't find this love when the same "loved one" is yelling at you. How useful can the feeling of Love be, when its not there when you need it?...

So, each person has or had that spark within them, within their expression. Where what they gave to the world, to their immediate environment, contributed to it..... BUT, what happens? When one day they lost it... for some reason... they do not know. Within that you react in confusion, lostness, anger... fear, and you don't know what happened. It are those moments that define you. Because it was easy when you could just express you, but now it is difficult... the level of difficulty that you are willing to allow to decide when you give up... that is your self-definition. That is your self-defined limit. That is your self-limitation. Do you see that point? So, the truth is, everyone has that spark of amazingness in who they are. That amazingness you have isn't really all the unique/special because everyone has got it within them. What is really amazing however, are those individuals that actually still live that, when things become challenging. It is not surprising to have tha...

Mechanistic Mind Part 2 So imagine the city where you live. Now imagine on the other side of the world, a city that exists. Do those people exist? Then why do we act like they don't? We waste our time when we are not aware of the life that is existent everywhere equal and one. Every moment that is not spent being aware of that life, is a moment where you could have been aware of that life. So it is wasted. If you had only one life, would you not make it the best life on earth? Well you do have only one life. In case you forgot, when you were a child, you were aware of life. That was the best moment. So why not be aware of life, of all animals, plants, humans, beings, insects, snakes, lizard, bugs, bacteria, cells, organisms, the water, the air, etc... and so on to include everything? Everything is the most that exists, there is nothing more than everything! How many times have you looked at a pet, a dog or cat, and envied them? How many times have you enjoyed their expre...

Ok so when I was coming here to write this post, I was preparing to say how I fear losing someone because of who I am, what I do/did. Now, however, I mean I have faced this point before, so this time I am facing it, it is rather a point of excitement, because I get to see who a person is, in response to who I am and what I did. Will they react? Will they stand? What? And I am excited more because there is a chance, a chance beyond all odds, all chances, that this person will stand. And that chance that possibility, that something real could manifest as a person here in the flesh, is exciting. So its not really an excitement, but really an anticipation to what is to come. You could say I am hoping they stand, because I want everyone to stand, and when they stand I feel like celebrating. And its just something amazing to marvel at for a moment. And it then reminds me of who I am, and my stand, and to see the same standing in another making the same stand as me, is just amazing to see. I...