Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Day 35 Follow up on The Biases Toward Women

So in a previous post I did forgiveness on my beliefs about women. In this blog I wanted to do a follow up.

So, within rereading my blog post I have new insights. So, basically imagine one of those women groups or female groups that believe women are powerful, and believe women hold some special power, that there is something sacred about women, and that believe the world would be better if ran by women. Like some special female spiritual empowerment group thing.

Imagine the above. Now, would you say that you want YOU to be let's say all these things: Powerful, DEEP, Strong, Compassionate, Caring, Insightful, Intelligent etc...   just because you were a women?

Look at this point here. Would you want to BE anything JUST because you are a WOMAN????

If you look at this point in self-honesty you will see it is incredibly limiting and incredibly insulting to yourself and to everyone, including the female body, to think that WHO YOU ARE, what you LIVE, the words you are like Strong, Deep, Compassionate, has ANYTHING to do with the fact that you have a woman's body.

I mean like really???

Because if you believe you ARE these things BECAUSE you have a woman's body, then that means that YOU ARE NOT THESE THINGS. Simple. You are not these things, your BODY is the reason why you are these things, BUT in fact YOU ARE THE THE REASON for being lets say Strong, Independent, Compassionate etc...

I mean that's utterly ridiculous.

Instead if you form a group, let it be a group for the points of Compassionate, Caring, Strong, Deep, Insightful etc...  Meaning its about WHO YOU ARE, and not about your body, your vagina, your penis, or your appearance. I mean that is common sense.

Female empowerment is Stupid. PEOPLE empowerment, LIFE empowerment, EVERYONE living what is best for ALL, makes sense.

If you are supporting FEMALE EMPOWERMENT, or ANY group that is individually EMPOWERED separate from the Rest of Life, then know you are not supporting what is best for all, and that you are creating war, conflict and separation. You are on an EGO trip. You are riding the waves of energy.

Expression is not limited by Gender, SEX, appearance, skin color or culture. ANYONE can LIVE ANY EXPRESSION.

It is in our MINDS that we believe separation exist, that we create a perception of separate groups, separate cultures and separate expressions. These borders don't exist in reality. Just like country borders. It is all in our heads.

We are stronger together. The truth is that we are ALL in this together. We are ALL equally alive. We all Equally Exist. We are Life. We just have to stand as Life, as ALL as ONE and EQUAL. This is the only truth. This is the only one reality. We exist together. So let's Live it and Be it, let's be what is best for ALL. 

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Day 34 The Value of Being Alone

So the other day I learned something. This relates to the point of Manipulation that I face and the point of being alone.

So basically I change when I am completely alone. When I am completely alone, all the reactions I am having to things in my environment, mainly people drop.  So basic truth is I am not YET fully ME, living me, without reaction, and comfortable enough to express my Real expression, in the face of rejection and resistance of people.

Across my life, whenever I express myself FREELY and REAL, people judge me. They make fun of me. They tell me I am WEIRD. This has an effect on me. I react. I want to one day be strong enough where I don't react at all and I continue being me.That day is not here.

So basically, here is the lesson, that we each need to spend time alone for part of the day or week or just whenever you need it. Because this alone time you will allow yourself to express your real self, and real expression at least part of the day/time.

If you don't then you will always be in reaction, and in reality you will be suppressing your REAL SELF. So let's call it that, suppressing your real expression.

Your real expression is that if you are all alone, and you have no reaction. If you are able to express that with others, then that is a great feat in process. That would be a MAJOR accomplishment.

Seriously, if you can express who you really are when your alone with just yourself, with others, with anyone, wow!

In the mean time, all of us need to learn, as well as not go crazy. So to avoid going crazy, spend some alone time and express your real self.

Part of the process of self-expression and living words will involve spending time alone with yourself to learn how to be yourself. That will be one thing to do.

Another thing to do is to face our reactions to expressing our real expression in the face of people resisting and judging you. Essentially they are manipulating you. They are bringing out your emotions, cause it makes them feel good. It makes them feel good to judge you as weird, and it makes them feel good in believing they are normal. They are of course lying to themselves. Being normal is a lie. Remember people are evil. Anyone who does anything for feelings/emotions, is by default evil. Evil, because they will kill, maim and harm others for it. This includes judgment.

Another possibility is that you may really resist being alone. This may be because you need face something. This is normal, which I mean common. Once you face yourself, you will gain the point of expressing yourself alone with yourself. But I'm sure you could remember times in your life where you were able to express alone with yourself. If you cannot, then it might be blocked in your memories a bit, You will see more about what you have lived and done the more that you face yourself. There is a natural fear to know yourself.

Through self-forgiveness we can all learn to express ourselves alone with ourselves or with others. It will just take some time and practice. In the mean time, focus all the time you can to gain access to yourself and the gifts of knowing yourself and expressing with yourself. I found self-forgiveness to feel quite good. Especially the deeper I went and more honest I became. There will be challenges. You will fall. and you will pick yourself up again. Welcome to Life. Welcome to Desteni.

Sunday, August 27, 2017

Day 33 The Real Evil

Let's talk about the Real Evil in this reality.

Today I saw how I automatically started speaking in a SAD WAY, even though I didn't feel sad. I spoke this way automatically because I needed to tell someone something and I didn't know how to, and if I spoke this way it would make it easier for them to hear me. Because when I speak in a sad way I manipulate the person. They can't feel angry at me. Cause I am sad, and that brings out emotions in them. I have faced people speaking in a sad way to me and that caused reactions in me.

So this is PROOF that we manipulate people automatically, unconsciously. Was I aware that I was doing it? Only when I saw in the moment that yes I was speaking sad, and no I did not feel sad. I did not make a decision to now speak sad. It happened automatically. So theoretically I can see how we all as humanity are like this. We are all manipulating all the time without really being aware of it.

Afterwards I had a good feeling. I felt good in what I did. I just felt like smiling. Did I decide to feel this way? No. Yet I enjoy the benefits.

So let's all look at the real evil. Where are YOU manipulating people? Where are you speaking a certain way, doing a certain thinking, using specific words to manipulate people around you automatically?

Where do you speak in a happy, nice way? To get what you want.

When do you speak in a sad way? To avoid trouble.

When do you speak in an angry way? To get someone to stop doing something.

If you do any of this you are evil. And based on what I have seen we are all still doing this. We do this with friends and our families. We do this with our partners and children. When you want you child to do something you will speak in a happy voice. When you want your partner to stop something you speak in an angry way. When you want your Friends to do a favor for you, you speak in a sad way. When you want a stranger to give you attention, you talk about Love.

We justify and excuse our manipulation. Would you like to be treated this way? Would you like to be deceived this way? Would you like it if someone came up to you, spoke in anger, and sadness?

The thing is we are all addicted to being manipulated. We love being spoken to in a happy and excited way. We love it when someone flirts with us. But if you are an addict, would you want someone to continue your addiction or help you stop?

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate other because it makes me feel better.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to speak in an aggressive way to get what I want.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to speak in a sad way to get what I want.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to speak in a happy way to get what I want.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to change how I speak and what I say.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to enjoy manipulating other people.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that I am the real evil in the world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse other people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take advantage of other people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use other people for my own benefit.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to only care about myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think I am more important than other people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to excuse manipulation.

I commit myself to do everything I can to call out people for their manipulation, and bring them to their responsibility in spoken and written word, just through being honest and speaking the truth.

I commit myself to create a world where no one is allowed to deceive or manipulate.

I commit myself to bring forth everyone's self-honesty.

I commit myself to hold everyone accountable. 

Friday, August 25, 2017

Day 32 Manipulating through Kindness, and Niceness

So yesterday I was looking at the biases that I have toward women, which include seeing them as better, more honest, more intelligent, more trustworthy, and nice, and kind. And this was brought up thanks to looking at the manipulation that I have faced. Now I have already covered using Confidence, and using anger. And yesterday I sort of started introducing the point of using kindness, and being nice, and happy to manipulate. In this blog I am really going to focus in on this topic.

Now one context where I have constantly faced being treated with kindness and happiness is when I was a child. This is something all children face. We treat children with kindness, and being nice to them and happy. So how is this manipulation? Well, how about when you tell a child in a great big happy voice with excitement = "why don't we go over here and do some finger painting won't it be so much fun!!!"  So the child gets excited by what you are saying and follows you and then starts to do finger painting. You are then satisfied with how you were able to GET the child to finger paint. Then later you start again saying: "wow, great job! Your painting looks so good!" The child again feels excited, and then tries to make another painting for you. They like it when you say that.

Okay so this is manipulation. You are bringing out feelings in the child. And the child wants to feel that way. So they start following what you say and repeat doing things that will bring out the same response from you. Congratulations, you have manipulated the child. The child is not finger painting for themselves, they are doing it for your response and feedback.

Sadly, teacher, and parents, and babysitters are considered good if they actually do this to children. But what happens later on?

Later on the parents, teachers and babysitters go CRAZY!!! Because the child constantly wants them to again be happy, and nice and kind. They want the attention. So basically they Fall in LOVE with you. They want your feedback. They want your attention. So every few minutes they will show you a NEW finger painting. And then you start getting irritated and annoyed. You then start blaming the child, when in fact YOU CREATED THE CHILD TO BE THIS WAY. You wanted to manipulate them, so congratulations you did it. You took away the child's independence, and they are now dependent on you to make them feel good about themselves. That is what all Effective and Successful teachers, caregivers, and parents are in the EYES OF THE SYSTEM, but certainly they are NOT successful or effective in the EYES OF LIFE.

Here is the thing, we as humans love to manipulate. It is a compulsion. It is a need. When you see a child you WANT To manipulate them. To create them in this way. That is why everyone has the response that children are soo cute, and beautiful. That is already manipulation in play.

When I think of what is happening to children right now, and what I faced throughout childhood I feel angry. I loved being treated with attention. I loved being treated with kindness, and gentleness, and niceness. But ALL OF IT WAS FAKE. It was a technique, and way to GET ME TO DO SOMETHING OR BE SOMETHING FOR THEM. The thing is that children KNOW THIS. But we got ADDICTED TO IT. We knew it was not genuine but we didn't care. We felt good. We got our fix. We hated to not get attention. We hated to not be treated nicely, and special, and kind.

So if you actually tried now to NOT Give children the niceness, kindness and happiness, as a way to manipulate them, they actually hate you, because they are addicts. To actually walk a process with the child would require walking them out of addiction which would be just like how addicts face. The child would have to face withdrawal. They will get cranky, they will get mad, they will throw tantrums, they will hate you, but eventually they will realize the truth and get physical and independent and their real self. The same with any addiction.

Children who grow up without being manipulated in this way, have a significant advantage where they may be able to avoid the whole consequence. There are however some Physical and Unconscious programming from within the parents, but at the very least it will be MUCH better if their parents and teachers and caregivers don't manipulate them. Instead it would be best if they LIVED WORDS. A child can easily learn Living Words, until they become bogged down by programming such as Emotions and Feelings.

The basic truth is that you cannot assist a child to LIVE words unless you already have walked that process for yourself. This is why your process is so important. You won't be able to really help kids, or even your own kids unless you walk your process. Otherwise how the hell did you expect to be able to help kids, through just knowledge and information and lecturing? Because you and I know very well that the kids will take one look at you and see you are NOT living the words you speak. So you would be a hypocrite. Children follow those who lead by example. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fall in love with my care takers, when I was a child, because they gave me attention, they looked happy to see me, they looked excited, they spoke in a cheery high voice, they did these for me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be an addict to people who are nice, kind, and happy to me on purpose.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist letting go of my reactions, because I liked being manipulated and treated with happiness, niceness and kindness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel happy, cheery, good, that I liked myself, that I felt I was a good person, that I had love for myself, when there was someone who was happy to me, who was nice to me, who spoke in a high pitched voice to me, who gave me attention.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to do whatever it takes to bring out the same response from people, where they can trigger my feelings.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to constantly show my caregivers my projects so they can tell me what a great job I did.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to do well in school because I liked getting the feedback from my teachers that I am a good student.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to constantly point at everything in my environment so that my caregivers would give me feedback back and attention.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be this enslaved person, who lived only for the feedback and the one sided relationship of manipulation, where I lived to serve and hear the feedback that my caregivers gave me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel sad, and that something is wrong or bad when my caregivers and teachers stopped giving me positive feedback.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel sad, depressed when I was no longer cute anymore to deserve attention from adults around me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel sad, depressed when my teachers began to be serious and no longer using niceness or kindness to manipulate me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live for my parents positive feedback.

I commit myself to NEVER do the same to a child that I faced.

I commit myself to do everything in my power to unlock this system within me so that I can complete prevent/remove the abuse in my life, where I won't anymore react to positive feedback and I won't ever manipulate another through positive feedback where I can avoid it, and I can teach others to stop their reaction to positive feedback, which may involve manipulating them as a lesson where I immediately explain that they are having a reaction and how to stop it.

Thursday, August 24, 2017

Day 31 Remove your Biases with Self-Forgiveness

So in the recent Previous Blogs, I covered Manipulation in the context of Confidence and Anger. Now in this blog I will cover Manipulation in the context of Being Nice, Kind and Happy. As well I will be covering this Bias I have, this judgment I have that enables me to be easily manipulated by a certain group of people. This group of people is women.

So because of how I was raised I have had certain deeply ingrained beliefs and ideas about women.

For as long as I can can remember, I viewed women/girls, including girls my age when I was growing up, to be more matured. I believed it. I believed females were more intelligent. I believed they are more trustworthy, Honest, and Kind. I believed women are Nice, gentle and compassionate. I believed the world would be better if women ran it. I believed that mothers were also nicer, kinder, more gentle, more responsible, stronger than fathers. I believed women were more important than men. I believed that it was better for me to be around girls, women, and mothers. I believed I would be treated well, and be safe with girls, women and mothers. This is what I believed, and this is what I lived.

So how does this relate to manipulation? Some women are able to use being Nice, Kind and Happy to manipulate people. Some men can also do the same. But because of my biases and judgments, if a women were to be Nice to me, Kind to me, gentle with me, be happy with me, I would very easily cave. I would feel really good. I would be manipulated. Like I said before, I trusted women. I believed women were honest. I believed women had good intent. I believed everything done by a woman would be better.

Suffice to say, I have been manipulated by women. And even having seen that I had been manipulated by women, I was in denial. I just could not believe the women were at fault, that it had to have been my fault, that there is no way they could have intentionally manipulated me, or lead me to harms me. I just couldn't believe it. Even though it was happening. So I was in denial and I was internally conflicted and confused.

So, suffice to say beliefs about people are dangerous.

I grew up with women that told me these things. I grew up with women who Believed that if the world was ran by women everything would be better. I was told women were more mature. I saw the girls in my classes as more intelligent and serious. I was a Fan of women.

But all of this is not true. It is not true if the world was run by women that it would be better. It's simply not. It's not true anything that I have believed about women. It is true that some women manipulate others, and abuse others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that all women are good people, are kind, and gentle and are feminine.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to associate the expression of femininity to all women, and that all women are kind, gentle, and nice.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe and think that if the world was run by women that it would be better for everyone.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that women are honest, are trustworthy, are good, and are incapable of manipulation and harm doing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think of women as always the victim and never the perpetrator.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to belief women are more mature, more intelligent, and more serious.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that all work done by a women is better.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that women who are parents are better parents.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be a fan of women.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that women are better at caring for children, are kinder, nicer, and more gentler.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that everything that a woman says is right, true, and without any chance of deceit or manipulation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have any idea, or belief about a person's character, personality, expression and skills simply because they are a woman, except the very physical points like they have a vagina, otherwise there is nothing for me to expect or project onto them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be manipulated through people who are kind, nice, and happy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that women are naturally happier and it is better to be a woman than a man.

When a woman approaches me with kindness, happiness, niceness, I feel melted. I feel warm, I feel obligated to her. I feel I must help her. I feel I must do all I can. I feel nervous. I feel unsure. I feel like I don't want to make her upset. I feel I want to make her happy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel warm, and happy, and nervous and unsure of myself when a women approaches me with happiness, niceness and kindness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel obligated to make a woman who is nice, kind, and happy, feel good, feel happy, is helped, and not make her upset or it is my fault.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame myself when a woman uses manipulation, where I deny that she had any responsibility, and that she is innocent and deny that she manipulated me, even though she did.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not take responsibility for my own emotions and feelings when a woman manipulates me with niceness, kindness, pleasantry, or happiness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to do things for women just because they are being kind, nice, happy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that women are better than men.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that women are good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish I was a woman, and believe life would be better if I was a woman.

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Day 30 Humans are unaware?

So in recent blogs, including yesterday, I used the phrase: Humans are not aware.  What do I mean by this? So I was speaking yesterday in the context of manipulating others.

All people are aware to some extent of what they are doing. This includes being aware that yes you are manipulating someone and gaining some benefit, or that it feels right. But there is something that people who abuse are not aware of, and this is why I say people are not aware.

This SOMETHING that people are not aware of is something very important. It is something that you can only gain access to, if you strive to gain access to it. And this is the greater awareness of things. Like for example is the abuser aware of how the person they are abusing is feeling or experiencing? I mean they might understand it is bad, but it is possible to actually simulate that within yourself, or maybe its not a simulation but your own memory of being abused.

There is also the awareness of everyone/everything and what it would be like to live with everyone and everyone, standing by everyone/everything, being aware of the physical, being physical, expressing yourself one and equal with physical things. The words I speak will be gibberish to you if you don't have some frame of reference or awareness of what I am talking about. But if you have some idea or some understanding then it will make some sense. This actually shows what I am talking about, in terms of being aware/unaware.

I can also explain it like this. If you were actually aware of how GREAT your life would be if you lived and were the point that is aligned with the physical and oneness and equality, then you would more quickly stop and change, and perhaps instantly. But that is kind of like cheating. And not really possible. Everything Great, you have to give to yourself, or earn it. However you want to look at it. Earn it or give it to yourself. The point is that it is the result of some effort on your part. Something you got to do.

There is the phrase that you are always one and equal to yourself. Which is true. You only see so much that you have given yourself the opportunity to see. Your process is literally in your own hands.

Joined the Forums at if you are Ready. 

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Why walk the Desteni Process?

Why should I walk the Desteni Process?

The Desteni process is the process of facing your mind. Your mind is a complex system that generates your very thoughts and very emotions and feelings. The process of facing your mind is simple. So the process is simple, but the mind itself is complex. All you have to do is to stop the mind in this moment. You can stop the mind in this moment through self-forgiveness, as one tool. As long as you stop the mind in this moments and all future moments, then you will progress inside yourself. Your progression is to take back the responsibility and functions that your mind has taken over. Currently your mind takes on very important life functions. Your mind makes your decisions, it leads you down into relationships, it leads you down into addictions, it leads you down any path where it can further itself as a mind. Your mind is essentially living your life.

So much of what we have lived as Humanity has been a lie. Yet it is our lie and our responsibility. The Desteni process is about taking self-responsibility. You are responsible for everything that goes on within you and that includes your mind. So even though your mind is generating all sorts of thoughts, and feelings within you, you are responsible for accepting and allowing it.

Did you make that decision to create that thought? Do you create your thoughts?

What the people at Desteni found is no. The mind is a system. It is self-sustaining. What is interesting is that if you breath, then the mind cannot function. Because the mind requires a constant supply of energy. That energy it generates through emotions and feelings. The basic structure for your emotions and feelings is your thoughts. Do you ever feel like there is SO MUCH going on within you? That is how energy moves. Like a generator moving.

If you breathe, the mind cannot move. The reason why is that the physical is superior to the mind. The mind depends on your physical body. And the mind sources the energy from the physical. If you align yourself with your physical body then the mind cannot function, it cannot move. What this leads to is you having now the opportunity to really live, and move in your body.

Something that I have observed is that various people have all experienced moments where their minds were not moving and they had access to great potential and power within themselves. Like how athletes enter into the zone. Though this not something we have lived fully as people.

Emotions and Feelings, seem natural. And consider stopping them may seem crazy. Yet if you observe across your life, you will see what trouble emotions and feelings have caused.

Emotions and Feelings themselves are quite crazy and actually lead to the crazy behavior.
I remember how emotional I felt growing up. I remember as a young adult how I constantly was in some mood. Now after many years in facing that same emotional mood and state and constantly stopping it, I have such a stability within me, and I feel just so much healthier. Our emotions and feelings really fuck with our heads and we start forming all sorts of beliefs around them and thoughts about others or about ourselves. None of that is our real self, and here what I mean by real self is what would occur if we actually took responsibility for creating ourselves and not depending on a system to tell us what to do, how to feel, and what to think. Everything we do is based on who we are, and right now, we as humanity are our minds.

The Desteni Process is applying the tools of self-forgiveness, Self-honesty, Self-writing, Self-introspection, Self-question, self-responsibility etc... Everything revolves around Self. So that you develop Self-intimacy, Self-care, Self-trust, Self- respect, Self-integrity, self-confidence, Self-honor and more!!!

Each word is unique and important. Because it is through SELF that we create universe and existence we have. The problem is not out there, it is right here. Do you have self-enjoyment? Self-value? Self-care? Self-understanding? Self-respect? Self-direction? Self-movement? Self-intimacy? Self-forgiveness?

Welcome to the Desteni Process.

Day 29 How to Forgive the Abuser

So the next step in my blogs is to address the situation when you are faced with people who have used Confidence to manipulate you. Like how I said in previous blogs, people/humans are not aware, they are minds. So your mind systems moves to manipulate others with Confidence as one technique.

When I am faced with people who have manipulated me, I feel anger. I feel irritated, annoyed. I feel rage. I feel blame. It is just pure anger.

So this blog will be about how to, lets say forgive others for abuse they have done to you. The simple answer is that in order to forgive others, I really just have to forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel anger, irritated, annoyed and to blame them. Because I realize that people are not aware. They are acting out their programming. And yes they did manipulate me, and you could say the following:
   if they had known better, if they had been aware, if they hadn't manipulated, then I would have gotten back some years in my life, I wouldn't had lost so much time, or I would be better off. This is true. If they had not been who they were.

  But, it is also equally true that if I had known better, if I had taken responsibility for my emotions and my feelings, then I also would not have wasted those years, and I would be better off.

So the truth is, its both our faults. My fault and their fault. And if either one of us had been more aware of ourselves then I would have been better off.

This is the Desteni Message. We are all equally responsible for everything. None of us are exempt from responsibility of ALL that is happening. This includes abuse and manipulation that I face from others. I have this latent power within me, this latent responsibility that I can unleash and step up to own. And that is what I have been learning these recent years from all the people/characters I have met. They have been my teachers. And now I am ready to learn.

What is interesting is what I wrote yesterday and the day before. I identified that anger comes before confidence. That as children we start with anger as manipulation, but that evolves into confidence as manipulation.

So if I would not do the forgiveness today on feeling ANGRY at these people who manipulated me. Then I would actually be repeating what they lived. I would in turn repeat the manipulation. I become them. Which them refers to the program of manipulation.

Feeling angry at your abusers, will turn you into an abuser. That is how the mind works, and that is how the mind spreads. To really end ALL abuse requires stopping the one thing we haven't stopped. That is the anger, the blame. That is to take responsibility for our emotoins and feelings.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel angry at people who used Confidence to manipulate me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to use anger to manipulate other people, especially the people who abused me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame people who abused me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame people who manipulated me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to become an abuser and manipulator, to attack and hurt those who abused and manipulated me.

I realize that if I allow anger or blame, I will become an abuser.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think it is okay to feel angry and to blame abusers.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel just and right to blame and attack abusers.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel angry at abusers, and to feel blame at abusers, and to feel hate for abusers.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to have the power of abusers, to abuse other people, and to want to have confidence in order to abuse other people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel rage, hate, and pure anger at people who abuse others, or manipulate others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want abusers to die.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want revenge, pain and suffering to fall onto abusers.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to NOT realize that ALL anger, and hate, and rage is abuse in itself, that to wish another pain, suffering, torture or death is abusive.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to realize that I am an abuser if I have any anger, hate or rage within me.

When and as I see myself feeling angry, hate, rage when seeing/confronting my abusers- I stop and I breathe - I realize that I am an abuser as long as I feel angry, hate or rage - I realize that become an abuser and attacking, and wishing harm on others abusers accomplishes nothing and I become the thing I wished I had not faced- I realize that by stopping my anger, hate and rage towards abusers that I will set myself free and truly end the cycle of abuse and how abusers are created in the first place- I realize I would have become an abuser just like them if I would allow the anger, and hate, within me-  I realize I am no different from them and they are no different from me- I realize I have a responsibility to THEM and to Myself, and to Everyone to end anger, hate, rage, and therefore abuse- I realize that by taking responsibility for my emotions and feelings, that NOTHING in this reality could touch me, harm me or abuse me- I realize it is possible for them to change, because I can change - I realize that if I change their chances of changing increasing- I realize I hold a responsibility to help them change, by changing myself - I realize that if I don't change I will be responsible for enabling their future abuse because me changing has on effect on them and on this entire reality.

I commit myself to not feel or live anger, hate, or rage because I would be giving permission and support for others to do the same, which means I would be responsible for the abuse they do.

I commit myself to show/teach/share that living anger, being angry, feeling hate or rage is causing ALL the abuse in the world.

I commit myself to show/teach/share that if we individually stop our reactions as anger, hate, rage will be preventing/stopping abuse in the world.

Sunday, August 20, 2017

Day 28 When Hearing Confidence

Confidence is a word I used in my last blog and I want to expand on it.

Here is an example of the context:  When someone you know tells you very confidently that things are really bad and there is no way you can succeed in something. Now, I am saying it like how they say it: "Look there is NO WAY that you can do this, its impossible!!!  This is just how the world works."  What do you feel in such moments in hearing such statements? For me, there is a reaction, I feel something.

I feel they are right. I want to give in, and I want them to be right. Here is the context I am referring when we speak in Confidence. Now we say we, but is it us?

The mind is primary force in the world. So when people speak in confidence it can be used to manipulate other people. To Fight for your point of view.

The same when we speak in anger in order to get someone to agree with us. Anger is a little bit different. For example: "If you don't do this right now, I am never going to be your friend ever again!!!"

when I hear Anger, I feel scared, worried, nervous. It is something that feels threatening. I start to feel agreeable, and complacent, and pleasing. I want to be these things. I want to have the anger to stop.

So this is another way to manipulate. Anger and confidence seem closely related to me. Confidence is a little more sophisticated and sly, but it still pushes the point quite aggressively. Anger is a bit more immature, more primal.

Now this is how I differentiate between the mind and Self-expression. Confidence as how I described here  in this blog so far is the mind. But it is possible to speak something without trying to force it onto someone. Where you state it as is. For example, "Look, based on what I know, doing this thing is quite difficult for these reasons, A, B and C. And these are things you can do to increase your chances." This is non-emotional. This is not spoken from a point of manipulation. This is pure objective information that the other person can use at their will. There is no secret or hidden agenda. The only exception would be a deliberate LIE and Distortion of information. The only way to avoid this, is to yourself always make sure you speak/share the truth, and when you listen to others, to always check their sources.

One thing that assisted me temporarily when facing people who are manipulating you is to check the source of their information. What is their source? How does what they say compare to reality? Can they be wrong?

So the next step is to just forgive yourself for feeling your emotions and feelings.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel happy and attracted to people who speak confidently, even if what they say may be wrong, and emotional.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel intimidated, nervous and unsure when someone is speaking confidently to me about some information or topic area.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel scared, nervous, worried and afraid when someone is speaking aggressively or angrily with me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become agreeable and complacent when someone speaks angrily or confidently.

When and as someone speaks angrily or confidently - I stop and I breathe-- I realize that how a person speaks has nothing to do with the facts of what they are talking about - I realize a person who is talking sheepishly and scared and weak can be right about something and someone who is speaking confidently can be wrong about the same thing - I realize that it gave me a sense of security when someone spoke confidently, kind of like how women like confident men because they believe it gives them security, or that the man would protect them- I realize that looking for confidence and being attracted to confidence is a security blanket, and a way to make myself feel better- I realize that I am addicted to confident people and that I tolerate abuse to myself from confident people, through my acceptance and allowance because of what I believe it gives me energetically- I realize that what I feel emotionally and with my feelings is all me and my creation- I realize that the security I am in fact feeling from confident people is ME.

I commit myself to access confident within me, within service of what is best for all

I commit myself to not manipulate anyone with confident and instead teach/show all how we are accepting and allowing manipulation in our lives and how we don't need manipulation, that we only need ourselves!!!

I commit myself to not seek to be manipulated by anyone, and simply give/live what I really desire to myself, by being what I desire from others.

I commit myself to only use manipulation as a teaching technique, where I at the same time show the solution of self-forgiveness and taking responsibility for one's feelings/emotions, and to teach the principle that if we take responsibility for our emotions/feelings, then manipulation cannot actually successfully occur.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try to become confident so that other people would like me and would listen to me, -- I realize that this is in fact me attempting to manipulate other people in what they think and feel.

I realize that we all should naturally like everyone!!!!!
I realize that the idea of trying to get someone else to like you is ridiculous, and can only ever occur through manipulation!!!!
I realize manipulation is enslavement, and the way to be free is to stop it, and just LIVE and BE Ourselves!!!!!

I realize I am free when I free everyone else from my attempt to control what they think and feel about me.

I realize I am free when I start living me.

Real Confidence is when you stop manipulating other people, and what they think and feel.

I realize if I want other people to be really happy and well off in their lives, they need to see me stop trying to manipulate and me living my own life, free and confident as me.

I realize the best way to help other people is to show them how to treat other people and themselves.

Manipulation is not  a way to treat anyone.

Manipulation is not a way to treat yourself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lie to myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deprive myself of the best self-treatment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing emotions and feelings as abuse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make it okay to manipulate other people because it was for the greater good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate myself because it was for the greater good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to harm myself and others because it was for the greater good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use confidence to harm other people, through manipulating their emotoins and feelings, and accepting my beliefs/words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to NOT show others a solution or way where we ALL can be free from ALL manipulation through Self-Forgiveness of our emotoins and feelings, where we can all be free from all reaction to any word, words, that are spoken, or written or expressed in any way that attempt to bring OUT our emotions and feelings, to get use to accept some information within us as the truth and reality.

I realize we can all be free through self-forgiveness.

I commit myself to show us all the way to freedom through self-forgiveness.

Day27 Reacting To Manipulation

This blog post will be about Manipulation and what I have uncovered/discovered through Me.

So I found that there are two main types of Manipulation. There might be more, but right now this is what I have found.

 I am defining Manipulation here as using an Expression and/or Emotion/Feeling to get someone Else to do something, believe in something, etc...

Based on what I observed each person will be familiar in using in one Polarity type of manipulation. This is what I observed of myself, as well as the adults and children I have known.

There is the Happiness/Sadness Manipulation, and the Anger/Nice Manipulation.

These are the two types. You will most clearly see this form of manipulation in children, because of their lack of experience. Adults start to evolve these Manipulations into these more sophisticated types:

Love/Depression Manipulation and the Confident/Gentle Manipulation.

So these are evolutions of the Happiness/Sadness Manipulation and the Anger/Nice Manipulation, respectively.

I am someone who had developed the Love/Depression Manipulation. And I more prone to be manipulated by Confidence/Gentleness and Anger/Nice Manipulation. I observed that I am hardly manipulated by Happiness/Sadness and only slightly manipulated by Love/Depression.

So I could tell you a long story about how I used Love and Depression to Manipulate other people. This I did with awareness. So I would speak to someone about Love. Here I would speak in a specific tone and voice. The words I spoke were specific. I would really be/become Love as myself in my expression. The result is that for Some people ( Not all people) they would be manipulated by what I said. They would feel the Love. They would feel attracted to what I was saying. Once I started the Desteni process I saw what I was doing and vowed to NEVER do it again, and I haven't.

So I am familiar with my past in using Love to Manipulate people. When I would use Love, and become Love as energy, I would be manipulating myself. I would feel the energy within me. I would create it and become it. I also lived most my life in the Depression energy as well. Where I was manipulating myself to feel tired and be tired, and see the world negatively and other people as negative/bad.

With Anger/Confidence, I have seen various adults over the last 4 years of my life who lived this point. Each one was successful in manipulating me with this. This is something I reacted to. I would listen/follow what they said. So what I see is that we each may have our own primary way we manipulate and the other type of manipulation we are more prone to be actually manipulated by.

Because, when I saw someone speak in Love or Depression, I wouldn't fall for it. I would not be manipulated by this. The reason why is clear, because I was already very experienced in using this manipulation myself. Anger/Confidence however and being Gentle as a way to manipulate other people, that was something I never did. Never. I would always be quiet and not speak. When I did speak, and when I was trying to teach someone something, or impart wisdom, I spoke within Love. I also would otherwise speak within Depression about all the bad things.

Manipulation I see as a key mind component. It is how the mind shares information to other minds. We each manipulate other people. We do. And we each are manipulated by others, we are. So it is important to learn about this mind construct of manipulation and how it works.

The more we learn about how manipulation works, the more we can stop it, and stop reacting to it.

Other the last 4 years, I have gained the direct life experience with adults which have shown me how much I don;t know and don't understand about manipulation. Every time someone spoke with Confidence or Anger, I would accept what they said.  Or everytime someone was being Nice/Gentle, I accepted what they said.I can see that now. And I can see how people I know I divided into these two camps which are divided by the Feminine and Masculine.

I noticed that boys would use the Anger/Confident manipulation more, as well as being Nice. And I noticed girls/women would use the Happy/Love and Sad/Depression Expression more to manipulate people. I also saw exceptions to the rule where there were men/women who did the opposite. I am one of these men.

I also noticed that I dated women who were the opposite manipulation expression. They would be confident/angry and nice/gentle in their manipulations.For me all I found are cross-references for this system I am uncovering.

I would like to NEVER manipulate Anyone ever, except to manipulate them so that I can show them they are accepting and allowing manipulation, so they can learn to stop it. Otherwise to manipulate someone to impart any other form of knowledge/information, beliefs is just unnacceptable. I HATE being manipulated. And manipulation comes down to just a reaction, lets look at that now.

What happens when someone spoke with Anger/Confidence? I felt scared, intimated, agreeable, unsure in myself.

What happens when someone spoke with Nice/Gentle? I like them. I am agreeable, I do what they said to do, I do favors for them. I follow what they said.

What happens when someone spoke with Love/Happiness?  I feel happy or Love. I want to become devoted to them, and be their partner, and do favors for them, do good things for them.

What happens when someone spoke with Sadness/Depression? I feel guilty/bad, I felt like I did something wrong that it is my fault, that I feel like crying.

So basically I can do self-forgiveness on these reactions and then I am free!!!!!
Yes the answer is that simple.

What I will be doing as extra practice and testing for my stand is to reply in my head the moments and the sounds of people using these expressions to manipulate me, and then checking myself to see that I stop the reactions, and so stand within myself.


and check out the desteni courses to learn more about how to apply self-forgiveness.
There is plenty of free material, articles and blogs/vlogs that discuss self-forgiveness.

Friday, August 18, 2017

Day 26 What comes after nothing?

Yesterday we spoke about Feeling Nothing, the point of it, why does it exist, the purpose of it, what it means.

In a basic sense, it means nothing. Why nothing?
Because after nothing, well something.

What comes after nothing? something.

Living Words. Understand that Living Words is a tool. Living words is a structure that you can use to live/express yourself. It's not like the ONLY way. And understand the flexibility of words. Words in each language are different. For many languages there are no direct translations for many words. Living words is a tool. Living words is a way to help yourself.

Just like with self-forgiveness, without self you cannot live words.

There is no magic.

There is no magic in process.

There is no magic in self-forgiveness.

There is no magic in Living words.

The only source of power in all of this is Self.

The only source of power in existence is Self.

So. What comes after nothing? Creation.

Just like in the bible. First there was nothing, then there was Creation.

Like a blank canvas. First there was a blank canvas then there was a painting. Well, it took time. Just like it will take you time.

I mean all of this stuff is commonsense, its not controversial stuff.

But how do you live words? But how do you create? How do you make creation, or whatever.

There are many answers I can give. But looking across my life, the point that clicked for me was Self. The word Self. When I speak the word Self, I immediately have a reference of myself. Its like a presence within me resonating. Self.

That is the power I spoke of. The only power in existence, Self.

With Self, and having established this within me. I can move mySELF to do something. I can move myself to Dance. I can move myself to play. I can move myself to write.

I have accessed this same point of SELF through other words, like HERE. When I spoke the word Here I would access the same point. Or the words Oneness and Equality. Ultimately though I chose Self to be the most proper word for me. It just makes sense to me.

Understand there nothing special in the letters S- E - L - F. The meaning and source of power is Me. I hold the definitions within myself. Realize that ALL words were created. There was a time when words didn't exist. Words are an Act of Creation itself. Your USE of words reveal your own power to create yourself. That is how brainwashing as well as teaching occurs, through words. But its not the words, its THROUGH the words, that YOU create yourself. Words are a tool, an instrument, a something you use.

When I started my process I was hellbent on creation. I already understood that through self-forgiveness I would stop my mind and then I would get access to the Real Me. I would be able to be real, and talk real, and move for real, and I won't rely on my mind and I would not longer be limited by thinking and feeling. I understood this. So I would practice this. This is how I am so clear in my understanding. I practiced it, I tried things out, constantly. I was gathering information. I was collecting results, I was getting a better understanding. My own experience became the cross-reference for me. And I realized Self-Honesty was the most important thing. If I lied to myself about who I am, what I am going through, then EVERYTHING I was doing would be in vain. As long as I am honest with myself I know for sure I will eventually succeed. Dishonesty, Deception with yourself is how you get stuck forever.

Another point is that I spoke/done/written so many self-forgivenesses over the years. Maybe tens of thousands, I have no clue. But each time I did self-forgiveness and when I was being sincere and real while doing it, which means really forgiving and being honest about it, that I felt something within me.. I felt my own presence. I felt Me. This is something I used as a cross-reference. And what I realize just now is that I built this Self, this Presence of Self through all the times I lived Self-forgiveness. So I built it up over time. Hence, this is why my self-forgiveness became more effective throughout time.

Having this presence and Sense of Self is Important for Living Words and/or Creation. Because how can you really do or create anything without this Sense of Self, without knowing this presence, without living it here now. I mean it may look simple, but from where I am standing right now it looks absolutely vital. Otherwise whatever you create won't be Your creation, it will be a reaction. It will not be you. Simple. It will be your emotion of anger for example.  Your presence of Self is not Anger, it can't be. The closest thing I see that can describe how your presence of self is like would be Self-Forgiveness. It is like a complete forgiveness, a complete Acceptance of Self, and Standing with Yourself. Have you ever had someone completely 100% stand by you? Imagine now if you did that with yourself, that is what its kinda like.

So check out www.Desteni.ORG

Check out Living Words Facebook Page

Check out SOUL, which is reference material for Living Words

Thursday, August 17, 2017

Day 25 The Point of Feeling Nothing

So, the moment of Feeling Nothing.
The point where you get to where you Feel Nothing.
The place/space where you feel Nothing.

So the point where you feel nothing, is where you can see what you truly want. Why?

It is logical why. The logic is that if you feel something, and then you try to see what you want, then what you want will be based on how you feel. Consider.

If you feel hungry, thirsty, or tired, you will see what you want is food, water or sleep. But is that what you really want?

If you feel lonely, sad, or anger, you will say that you want company, to feel happy, or to get revenge. But is that what you really want?

Whatever you FEEL in this moment, will influence your answer of what you want. Can you agree with that? That there is an influence? Im not saying its bad, right or wrong. I am saying it as a FACT. Do you agree that when you ask someone what they want, that how they FEEL will determine to an extent their answer?I understand that some people have greater willpower etc...

Now the question I have is were you even aware of this? Were you EVEN aware that how you are feeling is determining what you DO. Like, when people over eat in order to make themselves FEEL BETTER?  Or when people over exercise in order to make themselves FEEL BETTER? Or when people attack other people verbally, in order to make themselves FEEL BETTER?

So can you agree that much of what we DO is based on how we FEEL right now?
yes? No?

So theoretically if we feel nothing then we do nothing? Is that true?

When I tested this I found that when you Feel Nothing, that in order for you to do something you need to move yourself. No longer are you motivated by what you feel. And the question here is what do you want?

Can you want anything when you feel nothing? What happens when you ask someone what they want when they feel nothing?

The point of nothingness is that it is the place where you can be the Real You. Because the answer you give when you are asked what do you WANT. that is the Real Want. What do you want that fulfills that NEED in your SOUL. That is something deeper. A real deep want, which leads to a real deep completion, and sense of Self. It leads to a real presence, a real fulfillment.

I mean, WTF am I talking about?

I am talking about something you may have never experienced. Complete and utter satisfaction with your life and who you are, as a part of everything. Because right now, everything you want is based on what you happen to Feel. Why in the hell do you even feel these things?

Why do you feel Anger?

Why do you feel Sadness?

Why do you feel Loneliness?


What happens when you address what you feel? What happens when you try fixing yourself by giving what you want based on what you feel? What happens when you fulfill the want of anger? Fulfill the want of Sadness? What happens when you do things that somehow fill the void of your emotions? What happens?

It doesn't work, does it?  How long does it work for?

Do you really think that the way to happiness is to do whatever it takes to get rid of the anger, sadness and lonliness? Become more sociable, become more agreeable, fight those people, fight evil, make other happy, do this, do that.

Is that really the answer?

What about what YOU WANT. What do you REALLY WANT?

Is this what you really want? To have everyone like you? To fight evil? Is this a full and complete life?

Who are you?

Where the hell did these emotions and ideas come from? Where the hell did you get the idea that this is what it means to be alive?

As long as you allow yourself to validate what you feel. As long as you do whatever the hell that it wants you to do. As long as you live for the emotions itself. You won't be able to live what you want.

All and every single idea of what you want, is not real. Because its based on who you are now, and who you are now is someone based in their emotions. That is who you are. Every time you think about what you WANT, you will be thinking based on what you Feel. Only when you get to the point of stopping what you feel, where you feel nothing and then you can with honesty see what you want, then that's real.

The Fact right now is that Humans make all their decisions based on what they feel. They feel good with these people. They feel good with this drug. They feel good at this job. They feel good.... Or they are scared of this happening, they are scared of not having money, they are scared of being alone, they are scared of what others will think.

Everything people do is based on what they are feeling in the moment. Are they horny? Are they hungry? Thirsty? Anger? Sad? Jealous? Afraid? That is how it is possible to manipulate someone!

Someone who doesn't feel anything can't be manipulated.

If you had a leader, or you were a leader, what would be the best leader? Obviously someone who wouldn't be manipulated. Someone who wouldn't feel anything.

If you want to be honest, and have integrity, you can't feel anything. If you want to be the best person possible you can't feel anything.

And its not a sacrifice, its a gift!!!! It's something to learn. It's a skill/ability.

You see it in movies and TV shows, your emotions make you who you are. Without your emotions you wouldn't be yourself. Exactly!!!! You no longer will be someone who is manipulated, or be someone that takes revenge, or someone that is abusing yourself.

What do you think would happen to addicts if they no longer felt good with their addiction, or feel bad with it?

To be an addict requires you to feel!

To be a terrorist requires you to feel!

To murder requires you to feel!

To want to do harm to others or yourself requires you to feel something about it.

The question here is BEYOND everything you feel, what do you truly want?

Beyond feeling, beyond emotions. What is there?

I mean you don't know. Cause right now you feel something about these words on the screen. You feel maybe anger, or maybe fear. Maybe you feel insulted. Maybe you feel resistance. How can you even know?

You are your emotions. You can NEVER see beyond your emotions, unless you drop it somehow.

Who are you without feeling or emotions?

 The thing that you want right now is to Feel.

You WANT to have emotions, to feel. WHY??????????????

Have you ever explored anything beyond what you feel?

Have you ever considered that you never made such a decision.
You never decided I want to Feel.You just want to Feel.

Why do you want to feel anger?

Why do you want to feel sadness?

Why do you want to feel lonliness?

Is this all you are?

Is there more to life?

Why is every bone and fiber in your being resisting this message?

What are you so afraid of?

It is you!

Can you not decide who you are?

Can you not explore?

Can you not test it out?

What if I told you that all the problems that you are creating in your life is because you simply accept and allow yourself to act out what you feel in the moment.

I feel lazy. I feel tired. I feel annoyed. I feel irritated. I feel disrespected. I feel worthless. I feel stupid. I feel dumb. I feel sad. I feel mad.

What problems have you caused in your life based on these words?

What happens when you say hell no. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel I am dumb.

What happens if you no longer feel the way you feel?

What happens when you no longer feel?

You have absolute power to create yourself.

Start with Self-forgiveness. Start with stopping what you feel. Forgive yourself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel...

Monday, August 14, 2017

Day 24 Living Words

Living Words.

Verb Noun.

Living as a verb. Living Words.

Living the word Determined.

Living the word Touch.

Living the word Paint.

When you live a word, Nothing else exists.

When living a word, the world fades away. Your past, your history, your future, yourself disappears. All that exists is you and the word.

When you live a word, the only thing that exists is you and the word.

When you live the word Determined, the only thing that exists is Determination.

You Are Determination.

When you Live the word Determination, you Are Determination.

When you Live the word Touch, you Are Touch.

When you live the word Paint, you Are Paint.

Nothing else exists. Everything else fades away.

You completely embody the word. You are the word.

There is no thought.

You can Feel Determination in your arms, legs, blood. You are it.

You become Determination in that moment.

You can Live words with something. You can live words through something.

You can Live the word Determination with painting.
You can Live the word Determination with Work.
You can Live the word Determination with playing a game.

You can Live the word Fun through Touch.
You can Live the word Fun through Dance.
You can Live the word Fun through playing a game.

You can Live a word with your wants and needs.

You can Live the word Determination with something you need to do.
You can Live the word Fun with something you want to do.

You can Live the word Fun with something you need to do.
You can Live the word Determination with something you want to do.

You can.

You decide what word to Live.
You are the one that Lives the word.
You are the one that decides.

Can means you can. Can doesn't mean you have to.

If you don't decide, then its your decision to give up your decision.

You can decide to not Live any words. What happens is nothing. You are nothing. Nothing is nothing.

Do you want to be nothing?
Or do you want to Live?

You can Live by Living words.

When you Live the word Fun through painting, you are living both the word Fun and Painting. You are living two words. You can live any number of words.

You can live four words. Or five.

You can always be Living a Word.

The words you Live will change.

In one moment you may Live Fun.

In one moment you may Live Determination.

In one moment you may Live Determination, Fun, Painting, and Touch.

You will be Learning New words to Live.

You will try living new words.

You will find that you have already Lived some words in Some pasts moments.

You will find that the best times in your Life were when you were living words.

You will find that you are Most Effective when you are Living Words.

You will find that when you Live a word you are not thinking about random things, and nothing else exists, and you become the word.

You will find you become more creative when you Live Words.

You will find that Living Words is great power, requires you to be real, opens your Life.

You will find that you are the Creator of Your Life and Experience.

You will realize you have more power than you believe.

The Desteni of Life, is to live as Life.

To live. To live words. To live. Nothing else exists.  You are the Word. You are the Expression. You are the moment. Oneness and Equality.

In such a world, there is no bad/good. Judgment. In such a moment, there is no good/bad, judgment. When you Live words, its pure creativity. There is no such thing as bad art. There is no such thing as bad dancing. There is no such thing as bad singing. Dance, sing, paint like you are the only one that exist. When you Live words everything Fades away, it is just you Living the word. There is no good, there is just You and Life.

All thought, judgment, perceptions don't exist. You exist. This body exists.

You start to being aware of the body and how it feels. You start taking care of your body. You start expressing, moving, and doing in ways that is comfortable for your body. You start addressing pains. You start addressing weaknesses. You start strengthening. You start stretching.

You start giving yourself what you want, through living words. You start addressing your wants/desire, through living words that fulfill them.

We are all in this Together. Oneness and Equality. There is really just the one Self. We all work the same. We can all Live Words. This is what it means it to Live. We are each other. We are Self. We are the words we live.

All thoughts, emotions and feelings are shadows of Living Words. They are not You Living a Word.

Living Words is a solution. Thinking, having an emotion, having a feeling is not a solution. Living words is you living something. It is you becoming something in your body in physical reality. You can feel your body when you live words.

When you are thinking about something, and feeling something about what you think, that is NOT giving yourself what you want. Actually Living a Word to Give yourself what you want is real. What you think is not in physical reality. But you are in physical reality.

You don't use Living Words to Get Something in Reality in the Future.

You don't wait when Living Words.

You are not looking into the Future with Living Words.

With Living Words, you are here, and now, and you are giving yourself now. You are Living now.

When you are thinking you are looking into the future, you are waiting, you are creating feelings/emotions thinking about how things could be.

Living Words is all here.

Living a word is here, now.

You don't wait to Live. You are either Living or not living.

You are either Living a word, or you are not Living a word.

You are either Living a word or you thinking and waiting.

When you are Living a word, you are alive.

When you are thinking and having feelings, you are dead.

When you Live words you FEEL your body physically. You FEEL the air, You feel with/through your body. You are here with your body.

Living Words requires your Being/Spirit. Time Doesn't exist. Everything stands still.

Living Words requires being Live, as in being recorded Live. You are Live! Live on air.

Being A-live. Alive. Being alive you always know what to do here and now. If you are not Alive, then you won't be able to handle being Live, right here, now.

You stand with your being/spirit and with your body. You don't stand for the mind.

When you are Living words, there is no such thing as emotions and feelings. Which means no energy that moves you, that you react with hate, anger, irritation, fear, or love, rush, addiction, pleasurable need, lack.

Living Words you are full and content, not hungry or lacking.

With emotions and Feelings, you are hungry and lacking. Hungry for love, lacking love, hungry for pleasure, lacking pleasure.

Possessed with anger, possessed with fear, possessed with irritation. This is not Living Words.

When you live a word, you are full immediately. The enjoyment is Here, now. The experience is not out there in the future, outside of you. The experience IS YOU. You are the experience, you are creating the experience, you are experiencing the body, you are experiencing the physical. There is no hunger or lack of experience.

When you are Living words, you are Living it. You are the director. Nothing is possessing you, or forcing you are moving you to do it. In fact you will have moments of resistance to NOT do it. But NEVER will there be something that forces you to live word, or pushes you, that is NOT you. You are the only point in existence that will be pushing you WITHIN yourself to Live Words.

Anger will try to get you Angry. Fear will try to get you to Fear. Irritation will try to get you irritated. Your hunger for love will push you to seek for love outside of yourself. Your hunger for rush and pleasure will push you to seek pleasure and rush outside of yourself.

When you Live words like Fun, you will be pushing yourself to Be Fun, and Live fun. You won't be pushed by some force within you to Be Fun or Live Fun. That will NEVER HAPPEN. That Will NEVER HAPPEN. That will NEVER HAPPEN.

So if something is pushing you within you, it is the mind.

When you push yourself to live words it is you. When you LIVE FUN, it is 100% You!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You are your creation.

Resource for Living Words:    "At the School of Ultimate Living we have come to realise the power of words and the empowerment you can attain in your relationship with yourself, others and life itself...." 

Sunday, August 13, 2017

Day 23 Relationships and Love

So, I highly advise you read my latest blogs, and all the articles/material from Desteni. Because there it covers all the dimensions that I won't be covering in this blog. There are many problems with love and relationships. In this blog your mind will perceive it as me talking about the positive things of relationship the good. So let's talk about it.

Even though this will sound GOOD, it is not good. It just is. It's truth. Only your mind perceives it as good.


So relationships are natural, inevitable. Every relationship you have an opportunity to grow, to learn about yourself through another.

You know those great relationships? Great people in your life? The ones you laugh with, smile with and enjoy?

So those exist or existed or will exist.

Remember that for a moment.

One thing that is certain is the relationship will end. Because death is certain.

Who are you when you no longer have the relationship.

You are mourning, and sad. You are torn.

Everything that the person represented to you, is now gone.

Okay, so now I am going to say somethings that your mind perceives as bad. But its not bad, its just truth.

If you only enjoy other people and the relationship, and then the relationship ends, and you mourn. You haven't yet learned anything. Learning takes place where you become something new. If you have someone great, then learn to be like them. If you are able to let them go at any moment and not change who you are, then you are whole.


Being so joyful, so amazing, with so much laughter, with so much expression and movement, being so much for yourself alone. Would you NEED someone else?

Would you rather have someone in your life that NEEDS you, or is whole and complete as themselves and they SHARE who they are with you as an equal.

Do you want to be surrounded by equals or people who are empty inside, lacking, needing?

Every relationship with Another person is temporary, but your relationship with yourself is forever.

You are the point.

This blog is NOT about breaking up with your partners, or not going into relationships. NO.

This blog is about realizing YOU are what matters. You are the Point. And whether you are IN a relationship or NOT, guess what, you still have YOU. So who are YOU? Because people BOTH use relationship to run away from themselves, and they run away from people to run away from themselves.

The right choice? The right choice is to face yourself, know thyself, work with thyself, and be whole/complete.

USE other people. USE them as ways to help you develop your relationship with yourself.

Be selfish in this regard. The greater person you are, the greatest person you are for yourself and for everyone. There is only one greatness.

If you ever meet a great man or woman, someone who is really special, someone who you can LEARN from, then fucking celebrate and learn. Most people attack such people.

If you see people around you Learning, fucking celebrate. Celebrate the fact if someone is greater than you, because NOW you have someone you can learn from.

Get over your own ego and realize that we are all in this together and it is all about SELF, and so

its about YOU sorting YOU out. No amount of complaining, react, blaming, or action will mean shit, unless you start with YOU. 

The same I could say. No amount of relationships, no amount of sex, no amount of babies, no amount of money, no amount of fame, no amount of whatever, will mean shit unless you sort out you. Who you are leads to what you do. If you break up with the world, and are alone, it still don't mean shit unless you work on you. So just work on you, wherever you are. The rest doesn't matter. In the end we all die. In the end, we lose everyone, and everything. In the end we only have ourselves. So the question here is, are you ready to Live with yourself?

Saturday, August 12, 2017

Day 22 I Remember

Remembering my life and who I have been. I have been many different persons.

I once was a person very much in love and obsessed with one person. I remember all the love and pain I felt. I was in so much emotional pain. Remembering the emotional pain I felt, it feels like no physical pain would mean anything in comparison to that. This is my evidence that love is the real evil.

I once had the relationship I wanted. I had lots of sex. I felt close, intimate. Then I found out the person was someone who was not committed to me. I realized that I made a mistake. I realize I needed to change. That is when I started Desteni. I was ready.

I remember being like 7 years old and sad. I remember being happy in regular class, and when I moved to gifted class everything changed. the kids in regular class were friendly and sociable. The kids in gifted class were super serious and intimidating. It was like being in military school, or where everyone was a robot.

I remember feeling just weird, sad, and that something is wrong with the kids. I longer was surrounded by KIDS, I was surrounded some weird version of kids. School became something serious and demanding.

I remember when I was like 5 or 6 and I took my first multiplication test. I failed. I cried in my desk.

Me feeling this way is one thing, but everyone else just accepting and allowing this, that what was weird. In my head I know there was a different way, and I could see it and imagine it. But no one was really trying to create it. I could see the improvement that could be done in the classroom. I could see the improvements in how people act, how they are. I could see how great life could be. I kept this to myself.

I was quiet. I kept this knowing to myself.

 When I was 13 I had a someone who called me quiet boy. I would mostly hangout with people quietly. They would talk and I would be there listening. I would usually hangout with women/girls. They were kinder and accepting. Sometimes there was another guy in the group. This was the closest I had to friends. I didn't hang with anyone after school. It was just during free time or lunch time.

 At 13 years old I decided to get straight As for college. I was successful.

I decided to go out of state. I was hoping to make closer friends.

I knew people believed that I was a quiet and intelligent guy. I'm not. That is just a mask.

Everything felt fake. Everyone felt fake growing up. At 18 years old I believed that I would only connect with people when I am like 40 years old. I believed in many things.

I believed in old souls. My parents told me I was an old soul.

At 18 years old when my heart was broken, I determined to change myself. Nothing else mattered. Emotions and Feelings are the problem. Both of them are. They both lead to great suffering and they are the same, just with different masks.

Who would I be without emotoins and feelings? I would be free, I would be free to be myself, to express. I wouldn't need permission to express a certain way or to feel something before expressing. I could express endlessly. I could do everything I couldn't see myself doing. I can break all barriers and all limitations. I could be ALIVE for once in this life.

I could potentially hug someone and give them the biggest hug ever. I could be alone and be amazing, feel amazing, and just be Amazed by everything I see and hear. I could run and dance, and laugh just because, NO Reason. I could do anything, be anything, just be cause.

Now, its about living what is best for all. How to do that? Live that? And facing the challenges of this world. The answer is to help people live the answer I lived with Desteni. The answer of being limitless, expressive, anything/everything. The answer that You are the answer. The answer of all life being one and equal. The answer that you are enough and are ready.

I have lived many lives. 

Thursday, August 10, 2017

Day 21 Odyssey to Life

When we embark on a new journey, we don't always know what is ahead of us. While our decision was crystal clear, our motivation strong - we can get distracted by the sceneries we pass, the seasons that change, the travelers we meet, the many cross roads we face. Voices from the past, telling us we are making a mistake, that we should give up and go back to what we've always known. We get caught up in the tests, trials, temptations and even good times along the path we walk. We may want to get off the road as soon as possible, or perhaps set up a tent and decide that where we've gotten is far enough.
We may forget about our initial decision, as if it was in a past life, perhaps even a dream.

In a way, we're all in our own Odyssey journey back home, to Life.  
What moved you to start your process to birth yourself as Life from the physical? What has kept you going? What trials, tribulations and yes - victories - have you faced?

 I don't remember a time where I wasn't looking at things deeply. I remember when I was like maybe 8 or 9 years old and we were given research questions. The questions asked at what we thought of a man who didn't have enough money to buy medicine to save his family, and the medicine company had made the price artificially high in order to make money. I wrote down that the man should steal the medicine to save his family, and that if he were to get arrested for that, that he would still be right, because the company shouldn't have raised the prices to high. At about 22 years of age I read the very research article that I had participate in unknowingly at that age. And I read my own response in that article. The research team were testing out a theory that said as people age they become less selfish and develop a deeper moral compass, which includes care for yourself, then your family, then friends, then society as a whole. It's a little more complex than that but you get the point. The thing is I don't remember developing into this. I remember just always being like this. 

I believe we are all like this. I believe we are all like me. The only difference is that I am operating at this deeper level, and that who are you as this is just deeper within you. Its covered up with stuff. 

This stuff is the mind, as desteni explains. Thoughts, emotoins, feelings. 

Underneath this stuff, by stopping it you gain access to the physical. Something I already have seen to an extent. This is where and how you can do some amazing and miraculous things. Be amazing. 

The trails and tribulations I have faced, I have faced silently. With the power of self-forgiveness you can forgive anything. You can forgive love. Most people wouldn't forgive love. I did. I can. 

The physical is amazing, it is expression. The mind is good and bad, it is flawed. 

What keeps me going? Everything else is shit. Love is shit. Good is bad and Bad is good. The only way out is to stop it all, and start expressing. 

The biggest challenge I face is people. Is when they are being friendly and kind, and nice. There is a part of me that wants to enter into that, enter into everything being nice, good, kind and friendly. It's so tempting. That is my weakness. Every time I say no, I get stronger.

Imagine having no feeling or emotion. Being able to look at anything and see the physical. From there can you truly see/do what is best for all. Otherwise you will be biased. You will put someone else first.

Imagine having no friend that you see as special. No family that you see as special. No lover or partner that you see as special. Having no one where you would put them before everyone else. Imagine still having friends, still having family, still having a partner, but you see them all as equal to everyone. That we are all one. So none are special, none are more. That we simply DO what is BEST FOR ALL. 

What is best for all cannot exist while we have emotions and feelings. Any action within emotions and feelings is already not best for all. Any action done within emotions and feelings always have the same result. 

To live without emotoins and feelings is to be superhuman, is to be what is best for all. It is difficult and unlikely. But it is the only way to be full, complete and truly happy. If you want true happiness you need to stop what you have defined as happiness. Stop it within yourself, and start Expressing the real happiness as the physical. 

My victories include moments where women came onto me. They threw themselves at me, several of them. I didn't pursue them, even though it would have been extremely easy. What I did was stop my reactions, and stick to my principles and my path. Anything that involves not working towards my goal would be a distraction. And they were purely attracted to me because of superficial reasons. I had previously a few years before that time formed relationships with the first women that liked me, superficially. I was addicted to relationships and I had stopped that. Since then the only women I had asked for considering relationship with was those who I believed were very strong and would walk this same process as me. This is because I know I am strong and I wanted to walk with the strongest so we can do great things in this life. I am prepared and very happy to walk alone in this life. I am more than enough for myself. By being this way, I wont settle for a lesser relationship. I can say NO to a relationship and END it in an instant. 

Again my greatest weakness is People. A partner, is one person. With one person it was a challenge and I have proven I can handle one person. But when it comes to a whole group of people, having a community of family, it gets more tempting. People are tempting. It's tempting when you feel that rush of energy from having friends, from having that attention from multiple sources. Our design as mind and system is that we keep each other from stopping our emotions/feelings. We form like a web that keeps each other within emotions and feelings. It's like when you see several people do something it becomes easier to do it yourself. That temptation is what I am talking about. That is the challenge of the group. 

We form groups naturally. Families, business, workplace, school, classmates, friends, church etc... Standing as yourself on your own, that is the true test. Can stand on your own two feet? Will you stand even when everyone is telling you no? The greatest thing someone can have over you is the emotions and feelings you have. As long as you have emotions and feelings you CAN be manipulated. Gossiping CAN effect you as long as you have emotoins and feelings. Otherwise you don't give a shit. When you stop your emotions and feelings you do/act/move what is best for all always.

That has been my greatest challenge. I have fallen before. Yet I have picked myself up. Otherwise I wouldn't be here. Stopping the emotions and feelings is how I stand up. We are not our history, our personalities, our story. We are something more universal, infinite, undefined. And from that nothingness we can express anything. 

That is why I walk this process so that I can express anything and be my real potential, and not be limited by anything except what is best for all. I want to only be what is best for all.

Monday, August 7, 2017

Day 20 Respect

You can only ask for the amount of respect from another, that is the same amount of respect you have for yourself.

If you have low self respect, you will allow others to treat you like shit.

If you have high self respect then you won't allow others to treat you like shit, where you will remove yourself from the environment and/or speak up. But for sure you won't just take it and feel like shit and just continue like that.

You are responsible for your emotions and feelings.You are responsible for how you handle situations and other people.

Are you striving for the best quality of life for yourself? Here quality of life refers to things like how people treat you, and the kind of people in your life. There are sayings that say you choose the people you hangout with. You choose your friends. This choice determines much about you. Equally so, you choose to whether to spend time with your family. You don't have to spend time with your family or anyone. So you have choice. At the same time you don't always have choice if you don't have access to any money. Yet even when you don't have access to money, I bet you can find ways to improve your life. So this principle still applies. I am not an all knowing being that can say how exactly or what exactly you WILL do to make your life better. BUT I can say this:

The amount of respect that you will ask from others, will reflect the amount of respect you already have for yourself.

People who accept and allow abusive situations and do nothing to change it, have a shitty relationship with themselves. They don't have that self-respect and self-honoring. So for this reason they will accept and allow abusive people and enter into abusive relationships. The Abuse you accept and allow reflects your relationship with yourself.

Having that self-respect, is evidence that there are people that have respect for life and will treat you well, because you are the proof that YOU exist, as a someone that has self-respect.

Its not about blame or anger at another. Its about what you accept and allow. Its about the self-love and self-respect you have. How much do you care for yourself?

How I see it as well is that I am a child. That I have a child and that child I have is me. So would I want this child to be treated poorly or badly by others? No. I would move that child out of that situation and protect that child. So if I would do this for a child, why not for me? So that is why I am seeing myself as a child. I have value, and care, and a standard of living which I see ALL DESERVE to have, BUT you cannot force another to realize they DESERVE such a good life or a better life. Each ONE needs to see for themselves and live for themselves that self-respect, that self-love, that self-care. Otherwise it won't be real. Because each one can in fact do so much to stop the abuse in their lives. If only they had that care and respect for themselves.

This is something that I have only recently been walking and I have been walking this process for many many years now. So I can just imagine how long it would take for many to understand this point and then to actually live it and act on it, and actually have self-respect. So I understand many/most won't understand and that many will continue to accept and allow their abusive situations, and their abusive stance to themselves.

But if you hear what I am saying it means you are ready.

Investigate Learn about all the Selves. Self-forgiveness, Self-Trust, Self-responsibility, Self-honesty, and more!!!!