Yogan's Journey to Life

Feeling Energetic. What is it? When I feel energetic, as energy, I am motivated to go and do that which is triggering me to feel energetic. Energetic is me moving myself with energy, towards energy, for energy. It is encapsulated with the words, I FEEL ALIVE!!!!   And I FEEL SO GOOD!!!! I am an ENERGETIC PERSON!!!! A consequence of participating in this Personality, is tiredness, at least the perception, and manifestation thereof, which occurs through a process of accessing this personality regularly, and being the downside to the upside of the personality. Encapsulated within the phrase, what goes up, must come down. The questions I have, are: why must some things be reasons for me to feel energetic? Why am I not choosing who I want to be, and what I want to do, and how I want to be in the moment? Why am I placing such value on this experience I call feeling Energetic? Why am I not placing such value in who I am, in every moment? This personality has taken on new t...

So like I said in my previous blog, I will only be writing on substantial points. So I see within me the space to integrate myself further into responsibilities, thus things that will create a visible change in reality. I have many creative ideas already, so I am not short of ideas. What is missing is the application. There is some energy of resistance, its not very intense however. What I find though is that things are very silent, and living out these responsibilities, things are silent, and with that silence I feel fear. Strange isn't it? But its here. It feels almost like a subtle wavelength that moves with the silence. Haha, so as if the silence has sound? Haha. This fear hidden in the silence is tied to the fear of living these responsibilities so absolutely that they are a part of me completely. This is what this fear actually is. And the silence is just the future point, what I anticipate/expect the future to be like without fear... strange how the fear is tied to... being...

So today I experienced something unusual. That is thinking about my diet, and some other things, such as about my dog. When I would start thinking about things, this would create non-existent problems. So I am creating a flag for this generalized thinking that occurs with seemingly random things, such as with my dog or with food. What I notice within this thinking is that I would start to feel emotional, mainly sad and worried. This would lead/fuel a greater motivation to think more about these things and correct these problems, which before were non-existent. What I notice in general about this specific kind of thinking is that it relates to fixing problems. So I would create a problem in my mind, and I would then think about how to fix it. This would lead to a panic, where I felt worried, scared. Within this panic and thought, I would try and fix things, but really be feeding and validating the non-existent problems. I notice this generally happening in the world in Veganism/Ve...