Yogan's Journey to Life

So based on what I have seen so far on the U.S. Presidential election, Kamala Harris is obviously better than Trump. A potato is better than Trump. What is most interesting to me is Kamala and the future she will bring. Based on her astrology, she will help bring in healing. She actually reminds me alot of my dad's wife, my stepmom. She also worked for the government an in a law enforcement type position, and there is a similar aura of being very trustworthy, following what is best for people, and helping others. A true service person. When I read people, I do it with like a sense of who someone is. Its similar to how when I am dreaming and I know it is someone I know, even though they look nothing like the person, I know its them. And so those qualities of a person I can pick up on them.  I am reminded of a moments where I have gone into conspiracy theories, before encountering Desteni. So I am empathize with people who engage in conspiracy theories. I do find is strange though th...

 So I stumbled upon something recently. It is about Fear. That fear can be experienced as a positive or negative experience. So the idea that Fear is only something negative is wrong. And because of what I learned about Anger some 2 years ago, that it can also be lived in a positive way, then it makes sense to conclude that perhaps all emotions/feelings can actually be experienced as positive or negative.  This is a revolutionary perspective. As it brings the focus more on energy and how we are perhaps choosing or living experiences based on positivity/negativity, so polarity. Because the end goal of the mind is simply to garner more energy for itself through experience, and it doesn't really care whether it is positive or negative.  A brain scientist might say that emotions/feelings are just chemical experiences in our bodies. To which I would say that if you look at how we actually relate to it on a meta-physical level, then it is interacting on the level of personality...

Here I will be addressing our relationship with Animals. Us as the all of us. All of us human beings and how we relate to animals. It shouldn't be a surprise yet it will be a surprise nonetheless that our relationship with animals is filled with separation. Often we immediately look at the points of Animal Extinction, Exploiting animals for profit, factory farming, physically abusing animals. Obviously all of this is indicating some form of separation that is going on, I mean there has to be right? But its not that simple. How people respond normally is within judgment of good/bad. People think that if there is going to a criticism of some people, that some people have to be the bad guys and that some acts are simply bad. Those whoever that truly live by and work side by side animals like Fully and like Completely know that good/bad and morality are not real things that animals understand or live. Animals do kill one another, sometimes to eat the other, other times because of t...

So the secret mind is something that came up from desteni years ago. And today it came up within me as a support/explanation for what's been going on with this part of me. So my original idea of the secret mind was that it consisted of those thoughts that you were secretly holding on to. With what I have been going through, the secret mind was the perfect set of words to explain to me how I could be having these thoughts that I have been having and not stop them. The definition I am using for secret mind now are those set of thoughts that I haven't embraced/accepted to be of the mind and requires just immediate stopping/recognition that this is the mind and isn't me. So I have had a whole range of thoughts that are like that: thoughts that I haven't accepted to be completely thoughts of the mind. The way I was looking at how this could be is the following. So you know you start walking process and you know what thoughts and emotions and reactions you want to stop....

My day was really fucking good. I did some exercise walking around and strengthening my back. I read outside in the sun. I am understanding the material I an learning. I read some more. I participated in chats. I watched a movie. I worked on myself in going to heart of what I need to learn in order to improve myself and me in my relationships to people. So I am advancing and going deeper. I am learning and realizing. I feel quite strong, and connected to my body. I want to strengthen that connection to my body even deeper. I want my voice to embody the sound of my body, to be more visceral. I want the presence of the body to come through the sound of my voice. I want to change more and do more. I want to go deeper than I have gone before. I want to see the heart of what this is. I want to see what expression will emerge and radicalize my life, and dramatically change it. I know what the area I want to improve. I am right at the precipice  of changing it. I am walk...

Link, 1st blog on topic : https://yoganjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2019/01/day-690-about-being-alone-as-trauma.html 1st Addendum: https://yoganjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2019/01/day-691-update-and-addendum-to.html So today is the second Addendum. I have had several different points come up in the last few day and half that would add up and be part of this original mind system of Trauma of Being Alone. The first was a more sexual one. Where I have had a problem within masturbation where a certain line of thought would come up of: "you don't know what you are doing!" so what I did this morning was look at this line of thought within the context of the Trauma of Being Alone, and what I have opened up recently. So within that it became clear that I was digging into my Past Relationship and sexual encounters. One of my past partners said to me "Yogan, you don't know what you are doing, you have good intent, but you don't know who you are."  So I started...

I have someone who is dependable, reliable, is THERE, and it is freaking me out! Cause my systems are activating... What are these systems? What is happening within me? I am going into self-doubt 1. I am second guessing what comes up within me as what I would normally say to the person and share with the person. I am feeling a strange constant state of happiness for no apparent reason 2.. I see this is here because I believe/see I have this person here, they are always here, they are reliable, they are going no where, an its a FACT. So in my mind I'm reacting in this strange constant happiness. Another way to look at it, is that it should be normal and the norm for people to ALWAYS be there, to be so trustworthy, and reliable, and simply SHOW UP in the relationship... that its so normal its boring or not exceptional. And we can live normally. 3. I am getting quiet and reserved because of 1. where I am second-guessing myself, not trusting myself, because I am afraid of say...

So I have an observation to share today. I did work on an emotional reaction today that came up due to unique, unpredicted moment. I felt panic and it was in relation to scarcity of something I needed. Context is like you need something to do your work but they don't have enough for everybody and by chance you don't get it. And there is nothing you can "do" really to protest it. So you have to make due with the hand you were dealt. Its a really unique emotional signature and I remember it existing way back when I was in another situation that had to do with scarcity of something I needed and them not having enough. Back then it had to do with school lockers and I got stuck with one that was so far away from my classes that I had to run/rush to get to it, and I for a while couldn't find a single locker, and that was the very last one left in the school. This feeling has a very unique signature. Anyway, so I did self-forgiveness, but it wasn't enough really. I...

Love is now a feeling I can identify clearly within me. I can see it within me as a trigger to this video game. I can see it trigger when watching this or that movie. I can see it trigger in my memories with this person. Love is a feeling, an energy, which doesn't need to exist. Looking at how it works, how it exists within me: it is triggered by various media. And the moments that I felt love as a feeling with another person, was also triggered by the moment, by the situation. One memory where I felt love as an energy was when I was laying down and holding my girlfriend at the time, the bed was comfortable. The image of the place was perfect. And I felt the energy I generated within me attached to this moment. What is interesting about feelings is that they are attached to only particular or specific moments. For example, you won't find this love when the same "loved one" is yelling at you. How useful can the feeling of Love be, when its not there when you need it?...

New Audio Recording describing an Experience I had today, and why I stop emotions Divided into two parts.  Part 1 Part 2

So in recent blogs, including yesterday, I used the phrase: Humans are not aware.  What do I mean by this? So I was speaking yesterday in the context of manipulating others. All people are aware to some extent of what they are doing. This includes being aware that yes you are manipulating someone and gaining some benefit, or that it feels right. But there is something that people who abuse are not aware of, and this is why I say people are not aware. This SOMETHING that people are not aware of is something very important. It is something that you can only gain access to, if you strive to gain access to it. And this is the greater awareness of things. Like for example is the abuser aware of how the person they are abusing is feeling or experiencing? I mean they might understand it is bad, but it is possible to actually simulate that within yourself, or maybe its not a simulation but your own memory of being abused. There is also the awareness of everyone/everything and what it...

Why should I walk the Desteni Process? The Desteni process is the process of facing your mind. Your mind is a complex system that generates your very thoughts and very emotions and feelings. The process of facing your mind is simple. So the process is simple, but the mind itself is complex. All you have to do is to stop the mind in this moment. You can stop the mind in this moment through self-forgiveness, as one tool. As long as you stop the mind in this moments and all future moments, then you will progress inside yourself. Your progression is to take back the responsibility and functions that your mind has taken over. Currently your mind takes on very important life functions. Your mind makes your decisions, it leads you down into relationships, it leads you down into addictions, it leads you down any path where it can further itself as a mind. Your mind is essentially living your life. So much of what we have lived as Humanity has been a lie. Yet it is our lie and our responsib...

I really like the movie Moana. It is made by Disney. I like the Water. I observed the water specifically. How the water acted is how I act with children. It is my philosophy of the best way to work with kids. You guide them and step in only when you are needed. And knowing when to step back. Making the statement Knowing when to step in and knowing to step back, you might be like WTF???? But at the same time, ask yourself, YOU, do YOU ever step back or hold yourself back when your working with kids or with your own kids. Or do you every time just step in naturally. If you never step back, then know your probably messing things up, lol. Cause for SURE there are moments to step back. For sure. Without a doubt. So, The water steps back and you get to see who Moana is. You get to see Moana make her decision, you get to see Moana realize who she is. You get to see Moana lead herself. When Moana gives up the water accepts. When Moana is ready to fight, but isn't strong enough th...

Strength, Being Strong. Speaking strong. Moving Strong. My Strength I have always been strong enough. I am strong. I have only suppressed it, muffles it, snuffed it out, with fear. I am afraid of being strong and using my strength to change the world. I am afraid of having an affect on people, on having power over people, on having power over the fate of the world, and the lives of individuals. I am afraid of having the ability through speech alone being able to motivate, move people into a direction. I am afraid of the responsibility. I am afraid of failing and being corrupted by power. I fear having power and being powerful.  All these fears are lies. Because being weak, doing nothing, just not participating, not having an affect, not having a say, your just sealing the already existent fate of the world. Right now, it is certain that by doing nothing your damning the world and everyone to hell. That is our current trajectory. So doing something, anything is damn sure better....

There has been some interesting things I have been discovering the past 2 weeks. And I am ready to share it. So the words understanding, compassion and sympathy. There have been two notable people who I knew in my life who lived these words within their voice. Where when they spoke to me, its as if all my barriers came down. Because I felt and believed that they saw me, that they were willing to understand, to not judge, to hear me, that they saw me. You could also say they lived kindness and consideration in those moments of speaking. Like when they asked “how are you?” Those simple words that we hear all the time, but when they said it, MAN, that was real, or I felt it like a punch in the gut. It oozed from their voice, their sound. So recently too, I uncovered the same point for me. For me to live kindness, sympathy, compassion towards myself. Where I can speak to myself and say how are you? With the same tonality or sound. I repeat, with the certain sound or...

Each person actually has their own definitions of words. To make this apparent, consider how two people define the word love. What constitutes love? How do you love someone? What does someone have to do to show that they love you? Is love limited just between two people or can it include more? What is love? There is no way these two people have the same definition of the word Love. Which is why people that usually form relationships together end up fighting or being confused and miscommunicating with one another, because they have different expectations for how they partner should act and behave, and how to show that they love them, and so show the the relationship will work. But it is not just the word love, it is every word. Each person has their own definition for every word. And what is interesting is what ever the definition that you have, for all of the words... this completely and absolutely effects your perception, understanding, behavior, personality, actions, decisions in...

So this blog post is not about the violence that occurred in Paris. Instead it is about our reactions to it. So the way I see it, the Paris attack created a mini war situation. Meaning that the explosions and shootings is what happens in war. So one question is why are we afraid when we hear what happened? Because, for me, when I look at people living in war situations, how come we don't feel the same fear when we hear of 200 people dead in Syria, or Afghanistan, Iraq, etc... Why don't we experience the same fear? The answer is simple, because it occurred in Europe, in a first world country and city. Because the fear you feel is a fear about your own safety. So what you feel now is about compassion or caring about others, but is a point of self-interest and survival. Because if you did in fact feel compassion for others in war situations, then we would feel the same way for the wars that are going on now in Africa, and the Middle East, and elsewhere in the world. A second...

Money Money Money is something difficult/challenging to work with. It is one of those top things that possess people in general. Another one of those things is romances/sex. If you observe people, you can see how people are morphed and changed when making money. That how they become and change with making money carries into their personality, in such a way that it is always present in their life. It might involve becoming hard, tough, harsh. It may involve becoming stressed, nervous, worried, anxious. And it will eventually manifest in their bodies, in the coloration of their eyes, their skin, in their facial complexion. It will change how they walk, talk, move, and lack of sleep. It can possess your thoughts, your imaginations, desires, and memories. You can self-reflect to see how true this is for you. Money is one of those challenges in life that must be faced and overcome. Facing and overcoming it doesn't necessarily mean becoming rich/wealthy. No. It means being able to ...

With Halloween approaching near, I figure it would be good to address fearful things, such as scary movies. I remember when I was young, I had a babysitter that watched a scary movie on TV. I was very scared, and had nightmares about that movie for many years. It was only when I was 18 did I really confront these fears, understand them and dispel them. Now I can enjoy fear in a playful way, such as with friends for example. For most parents, it seems better to prevent your child from seeing a scary movie until they are ready. One question that seems unclear is, when are they ready? Taking my own life as an example, no adult sat down with me to explain what fear is, what movies were, how movies were fabricated and fake, and how to also calm yourself down at will. It was only when I was 18 years old that I made the conscious decision to understand fear, and to be able to direct how I feel in a moment. However, I saw myself as perfectly capable of understanding and investigating this si...

https://eqafe.com/p/pocketful-of-energy-reptilians-part-420 Pocket full of energy. So I had a listen to this interview the other day. And the other day, I believe I faced a pocket of energy. So I was within looking at something, a particular topic. It was actually while writing a recent blog. And from this perception, I had like this thought or belief, which I took as true. But now that I slowed it down, it was a pocket of energy or emotion, depression. So it's like, while going through the topics, I happened upon a bump in the road. So it was there, and it was like a pocket in the sense that it is contained, and placed on this topic. It already existed, probably fed and built in the past, and it was simply there is storage, waiting to be faced, or bumped into. So I bumped into. I felt the emotion, and it felt familiar as well, especially when it came to this topic that it connected to. So like how the interview described, it was hanging there, which for me its like a sack...