Yogan's Journey to Life

 My self-forgiveness and self-honesty are no longer effective, not for a while. And I aim to fix that. One of the things that is constantly in my mind while writing a blog and self-forgiveness online is others who are reading it. I am thinking about how it will affect others, and how they will react to it. I am worried about how it can inadvertently affect others, in ways that don't seem obvious. And I have this painful intuition on my body that responds when I do things. I am really in a fucked up situation. Its like I am scared to live. Cause I had my heart broken. Which is what has happened before several times in my life. Except this time it was my deepest wishes and desires, of friendship, camaraderie, sharing, openness, community. It was my faith in humanity, the goodness of others. That being said, its not your fault or their fault. That is who we are now, we are quite messed up, evil mother fuckers, quite demented, quite broken, quite sadistic, ruthless etc...  I remem...

 So I stumbled upon something recently. It is about Fear. That fear can be experienced as a positive or negative experience. So the idea that Fear is only something negative is wrong. And because of what I learned about Anger some 2 years ago, that it can also be lived in a positive way, then it makes sense to conclude that perhaps all emotions/feelings can actually be experienced as positive or negative.  This is a revolutionary perspective. As it brings the focus more on energy and how we are perhaps choosing or living experiences based on positivity/negativity, so polarity. Because the end goal of the mind is simply to garner more energy for itself through experience, and it doesn't really care whether it is positive or negative.  A brain scientist might say that emotions/feelings are just chemical experiences in our bodies. To which I would say that if you look at how we actually relate to it on a meta-physical level, then it is interacting on the level of personality...

 What Motivates me to Do what I do is the Truth. What am I? Who am I? What is reality? What is really going on? So take a look for yourself right now. Look at yourself. What are you? Check out your hand, your body. Check out your senses and your experiences. What are you? The answer is the same for all of Humans. What are humans? What are we? We were born in slavery. We were born with the Mind. The Mind and Body. What are you capable of? You can be aware of what you are experiencing. You can feel what is going on in this moment through your body.  What you are feeling and thinking doesn't have to at all determine who you are and what you decide to do. You are what you accept and allow. The Mind moves automatically as it does. Your emotions and thoughts move automatically as they do. Yet you don't have to identify as them. You don't have to listen to them and follow what it says. You can decide who you are and what you do. So the Mind isn't you. What I am is this combina...

In the past I have understood perfectly well that all Fear is unacceptable. I would explain it as a point where People say that you need fear in order to protect yourself from something like burning you hand on the stove. So you fear burning yourself. People would say such things, and call it good. So this is unnecessary because what I would say in response is that we can KNOW that our hand will burn and so we don't need fear. Like we won't be burning our hands on stove because we have no fear within us. So what I say is the truth, and the basic truth is that human beings have mind consciousness systems that are producing thoughts, feelings and emotions- and are completely directing what people should be doing, deciding, thinking and believing. And your experience of yourself is like you are watching a movie and you are following what arises within you like watching a movie. So fear to me is something that is more obvious to me, at least in the past, when I say all fear ...

Happy Birthday to the new day. Here we all are on Earth. And today is a new day. In this day and in this moment we are faced with this one process of realizing ourselves as life as everyone. To truly see others as ourselves, to truly see all that exists being equal. This is the challenge. And the way to walk this process, and the only way is to stop the energies of the mind, which are emotions and feelings. That is the only way it can be done, because how we are have been living is by letting our minds, our emotions and our feelings decide for us through reactions. We have given up our responsibility and agency in believing that our personality and our feeling good or bad is what matters or is even real. None of the systems and the mind is real in this reality. None of the personalities, none of the stories, none of the images or projections are real. All that is real is the physical. The physical is plain as day and it does not consist of a story or personality. Its quite boring in...

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of being soft and gentle. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear connecting with other people. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear connecting with someone who got angry in a moment. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hate people who get angry. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get angry at a person when they reacted and they were angry and taking it out on me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react with anger when someone feels insecure and is getting angry and is blaming me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not instead become soft, become gentle, and become supportive when someone is reacting with anger within insecurity and is blaming me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give up when someone is reacting within anger and insecurity, and so give into my own anger...

I have found within me a point of placing parts of myself, my expression, my visions, my living words, simply parts of myself within People and Objects in my Life. So it sounds similar to the Horcruxes that Voldemort used in Harry Potter. And I suspect that unconsciously that point was picked up and written in that story because it reflects something real. I suspect that this is something we all do. So what this means is that parts of myself is defined within the relationship to that person/object. For example lets say the willingness/eagerness to socialize with people and communicate/share is defined within one person in my life. So I have all these various parts of myself that is defined within people and objects in my life and what that means is that if something happens to that person/object than it can feel like I lost something, like I lost a part of myself. Have you ever seen yourself go through such a thing or seen others go through such things? It seems to me to be something...

So, I'm standing again in clearly seeing the Life that is here as me. What this means is that how I see myself is a being, a something that is life- if I create an imagination about it in order to describe it- it could be seeing myself/my body that is right here in his moment as I sit in this chair and type, and seeing that inner body as like a blue light that is my body. Its not about an image, but if I were to use an image it would be that. How I see myself is about seeing myself as life- meaning that I have no beginning and no end, that I am standing with and by every single part, particle, and speck in this existence, from the great to the small. So I committed to support every single part/person/thing in this existence- no matter who it is or what they have done. Because there are no enemies in reality/existence- there is just people/life that may be exercising power in accordance with their programming and in ways that is not what is best. But there is no enemy, there is no n...

When I was a child my aunt told me very specifically how a woman can be very beautiful, but be very nasty, ugly on the inside. Since then I have had that view of who a person is is what counts most of all. Also why the desteni process and focus on SELF, and who you are is the most important thing there is. Real beauty as expression has nothing to do with Energy- Energy as the Mind- Energy as Feelings- Anything about Positive connotations etc... Not good or bad as energy/emotion/feeling or judgment. If you start with this starting point then you will be able to explore what Beauty is as an expression.... But until you do that, you will only have an IDEA about what beauty as self-expression is. There's no amount of thinking or preparation needed. Just start in the individual moments---- if you have any energy movements with regards to anyone's image/appearance, good or bad, STOP IT. Keep doing that, and don't stop. Eventually you will get to the point and understand. ...

An educational Program for Kids: either TV, Movie, Video, or computer program or both. Covering EVERYTHING: Do you want to learn about Electrical Engineering Click here! What is Electricity? Voltage? How to build a generator? What are the parts? Where does energy come from? How does the human body work? What are calories? What is the nature of everything? How does an engine work? How does insulation work? What is heat? How do the muscles of the body work? How does memory work? How does air work? How does X-ray works? How do microwave works? How does color work? How does the brain work? How does the sun work? How do plants work? how does water work? How does uranium work? How does cooking work? How does flavor work? How to make the best tasting foods work? What is fat? How come in schools its not mandatory to learn about Everything how the World works, and how things exist? Especially that which is right here, and immediate in our lives.

Flustered and Clumsy I had an energy experience and it kind of got me stunned/locked in position. So I named the game. The names are Flustered and Clumsy. That is what I am feeling now as I write this. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel Flustered I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel Clumsy. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel Flustered being afraid of saying the wrong thing I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel Flustered with saying something stupid. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel Flustered with coming across poorly I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel Flustered with sounding dumb to my new friends I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel flustered while imagining messing things up with what I said and people uninvite me to a hangout, or I get ignored from future invites I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myse...

Update since Blog post Adrenaline: https://yoganjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2018/11/day-69-adrenaline.html So since I have been walking the point of Adrenaline as described in my blog, well here's an update. I have been paying attention to my physical heart, and when and in what moments I react so that adrenaline or my blood pressure kicks it up, and so I feel my heart pounding. So I have been purposefully being calm and relax in my time where I don't have to be running around. One of the greatest luxuries in life is being able to just take your time walking somewhere, to just enjoy the view, enjoy the moment, going slow. This requires time. Also, by paying attention to my heart, this has helped me in conversations where I can remain calm, and more stable and not react within conversation topics. At the same time, when I do talk, I see I'm much more effective, and pay much more attention to what was just said, and able to bring through my point, as how I see it, clea...

Have you observed that with just the words THOUGHT, EMOTION and FEELING, (where emotions are the negative energy you feel and feelings are the positive version) constitutes most if not all of the human experience. Look how in your mind that in ANY given moment you are either having a Thought, an emotion or a feeling. Besides that the other option would be to have you awareness be placed within the body, such as in Breathing. Now, breathing fucks with the Mind. Because while you are breathing purposefully there is no space for your awareness to entertain a Thought.. So Breathing Fucks with the mind because no Energy is created. This is why the Physical is Key. But look how with these three words thoughts, emotions and feelings, you already describe any given moment of you life, past or present. So bringing your awareness and attention to THIS moment always you can STOP the thought, emotion and feelings and radically change yourself. ANYONE can do this. If you can prove to yourself t...

So I have an observation to share today. I did work on an emotional reaction today that came up due to unique, unpredicted moment. I felt panic and it was in relation to scarcity of something I needed. Context is like you need something to do your work but they don't have enough for everybody and by chance you don't get it. And there is nothing you can "do" really to protest it. So you have to make due with the hand you were dealt. Its a really unique emotional signature and I remember it existing way back when I was in another situation that had to do with scarcity of something I needed and them not having enough. Back then it had to do with school lockers and I got stuck with one that was so far away from my classes that I had to run/rush to get to it, and I for a while couldn't find a single locker, and that was the very last one left in the school. This feeling has a very unique signature. Anyway, so I did self-forgiveness, but it wasn't enough really. I...

The world that is out there, and the world that is right here around our heads are the same. We are creating the world out there through the world we keep right here. This includes our thoughts, feelings, emotions, even the secrets ones, even the ones that pop up for a moment and then we suppress them. We don't really know how to work with our emotions and feelings effectively. We are very good at suppressing them, yes we can do that. This skill of suppression allows us to do our jobs, come home to our families, and wake up each day, but it has a price to pay and it has to come out eventually. It affects our health, it slowly pops up unexpectedly and in this worst possible moments in our relationships and workplace. We would be much better off if we knew how to really work with our emotions, feelings, and thoughts well. We would have more control, we could do much better. The other thing is our disconnect from life. We have become very selfish and very self-centered in our lifest...

Anger as Justice is tricky because... when you are in traffic and a car cuts you off you think to yourself what an asshole, or that they shouldn't be doing that! I can list many more examples here... someone throws their trash on the ground. someone didn't clean their dishes. someone left a mess. someone talked about you behind your back. someone took something from you without asking permission. So pretty much in all above examples it is sociably ACCEPTABLE to become angry. According to society and invisible rules you are right to get angry. At desteni though we push further, we ask the question deeper, we don't just accept things just because. We want the answer that is best for all in all ways. What does anger do here? And perhaps more importantly what does anger feel like? Have you considered that you feel good when you feel angry? Don't you? You feel empowered, strong, ready to go. The opposite of feeling weak. So anger isn't a negat...

About applying your ability to see things into the future, and see future consequence. Bernard's Blog post http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2017/06/day-573-practical-living-explained.html

So today I had went through a similar experience as yesterday. Yesterday I posted an audio recording describing how yesterday I had identified depression as an emotion I felt. Today I identified Love as a feeling. I'm going to describe in detail tomorrow what I learned from this feeling. Today I'm going to give a bit of an introduction on why feelings must also be stopped. I understand how feelings, like Love are defended in this reality to the utmost degree. So I understand that it isn't so clear or obvious why I am doing what I am doing with emotions and feelings, equally. The way I like to look at it that makes most sense, is how the most truest form or act of love that could exist would be something like the Equal Money system, or someone who is looking to make sure that everyone is taken care of physically, in all aspects, facets and regard of being alive and having physical needs. True love would be working on ending starvation completely. Love in the form of feelin...

New Audio Recording describing an Experience I had today, and why I stop emotions Divided into two parts.  Part 1 Part 2

This phrase makes you seem crazy, no mind, no emotion, no feeling. When you say it seriously and someone hears you, they want to say how you need feelings, that you need Love. What about Love? Before going there, first of all is it even possible to not have your mind? to not think? to not feel any emotion or feeling? Is it possible. Well, you may need to clarify what each thing means, but in a certain sense and definition, yes definitely. So perhaps an example will best illustrate the usefullness of stopping the mind, thought, emotion and feeling. Note that Feeling refers to positive like happy, and emotions refer to negative like sad, anger fear. So the example is this. You read an article. During the article you feel various feelings and emotions. Now you need to form an opinion about what you think the article says. Now what normally happens is that a person forms their opinion informed by their emotions and feelings. So both the good and bad. What is interesting is that WORDING...