Yogan's Journey to Life

I have someone who is dependable, reliable, is THERE, and it is freaking me out! Cause my systems are activating... What are these systems? What is happening within me? I am going into self-doubt 1. I am second guessing what comes up within me as what I would normally say to the person and share with the person. I am feeling a strange constant state of happiness for no apparent reason 2.. I see this is here because I believe/see I have this person here, they are always here, they are reliable, they are going no where, an its a FACT. So in my mind I'm reacting in this strange constant happiness. Another way to look at it, is that it should be normal and the norm for people to ALWAYS be there, to be so trustworthy, and reliable, and simply SHOW UP in the relationship... that its so normal its boring or not exceptional. And we can live normally. 3. I am getting quiet and reserved because of 1. where I am second-guessing myself, not trusting myself, because I am afraid of say...

This phrase makes you seem crazy, no mind, no emotion, no feeling. When you say it seriously and someone hears you, they want to say how you need feelings, that you need Love. What about Love? Before going there, first of all is it even possible to not have your mind? to not think? to not feel any emotion or feeling? Is it possible. Well, you may need to clarify what each thing means, but in a certain sense and definition, yes definitely. So perhaps an example will best illustrate the usefullness of stopping the mind, thought, emotion and feeling. Note that Feeling refers to positive like happy, and emotions refer to negative like sad, anger fear. So the example is this. You read an article. During the article you feel various feelings and emotions. Now you need to form an opinion about what you think the article says. Now what normally happens is that a person forms their opinion informed by their emotions and feelings. So both the good and bad. What is interesting is that WORDING...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vc4dBPxyXpw&feature=youtu.be

So we are going wayyyyyy Back in Time.  Welcome to the past. Here I am where my first crushes were present. So my earliest relationship with the opposite sex, girls, I see as significant, now that I have made a major breakthrough in seeing my pattern of reacting to women in detail. So I see then that my first relations with women, defined how I responded/reacted to all women. That is quite significant, the fact that my first initial relations with women defined how I responded, felt, and what I thought when meeting all of these future women. That is what I can see now. This reveals how everything we live: think, feel, react, doesn't just go away by itself. It stays with us. Until, we actually in awareness take responsibility for that, and release it and change. See, I was aware that my relationship to women was not self-supportive. I knew that. But, I wasn't aware of the detail of it, how I felt, what I thought, in moment to moment playout. I had to be aware of what it i...

So one of the purposes of this blog will be to expose the negative and positive within me and how those is being patterned within everyone. How we as individuals live in a systematic predictable way, using the positive and negative as the excuses to live so. So I will make posts on my use of the positive and negative and describe the systemic behavior, emotional, thought patterns within me. This is an open journey so I do not know what twists and turns I will make, however this is where I will start. It will be cool to write 100 posts on 100 different patterns/systems. So this is my commitment to do this cool thing.