Yogan's Journey to Life

 Its important to do self-forgiveness on anything conflictual or frictional. Like you know when your talking with someone and you know when it is that way. Typically is a topic, or something personal about them, something they say or do. You know. Friction, fighting, conflict, resist, shout match, argument, SHE said, he said etc... You know? Its' not kosher.  Knowledge can play a role with that. Like your knowledge of something. Like this is how things are. And if someone says something that is not how things are you wanna fight em, and tell em that is not how things are, this is how things are. Knowledge. Knowledge for fighting, brews more conflict. So whats the point except more separation. Knowledge should be treated with respect and sacredness, not abused for fighting.  Your the main character, and you can change the course of the outcome. Without your input, no fight can occur. Like dousing a flame. And its everyone's participation.  Examples I forgive myself for accepting

Destruction. I judge it. I fear to partake in it. And its the only thing that can set me free. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear destroying. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear breaking things. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself when I break things, destroy them. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the power of my destruction. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel bad, to feel embarrassed, ashamed of breaking things.  I can destroy, I can break things, by accident or on purpose. Destruction is just another form of Creation. It is the shifting and movement of reality, of parts, of matter, of self, of persons, and relationships. I can break and destroy.  I am judging my ability to create art, to beautify my life and reality. Because of my judgment of destruction. I need to destroy the old in order to bring the new. I need it for my art, for my ability to express and

 I feel an immense challenge within me. I don't like this world, as the system. I don't like that you have to generate money in order to eat and live. I don't like how land is bought and sold. I don't like the way where money controls all aspects of life currently. I hate it. I must change it. I must make sure that all have access to life. I must bring all here so we may unify on this point. We can recreate this world today, and give people the options and vision today, of what it means to live oneness and equality today. Limits are meant to be broken. I can't live for an empty selfish lonesome life.  My greatest strength and motivation is people, is the group. We are what is interesting and worthwhile. Stand with and as the group, and you will care for as well. Such a simple principle, when applied into reality can rework this reality, from one of separation to one of all as one and equality. Unity in our words, in our actions, in our money, where our power is one,

 So here I am. I am self. I am a living thing. I have an awareness. I have senses. I can create, see and express. And what I express comes from my interaction with the moment here. I have this body, I have me, I have words. And I want to create. I don't want to think. I don't want to enter into the past as memories and regurgitate well planned ideas and thoughts that seek a particular outcome. I want to be naked here. Unplanned, unknowned, and not in control. I want to have some fun with me, with words. I know I can do better. Particularly in the realm of love and friendship. I know I am not a very good friend, and I immediately start to defend myself by saying how others aren't such good friends either. And maybe thats true. And maybe none of us are that good at it. And maybe because we all have such a burden of the mind weighing down on us. Well my favorite thing is still create fun moments, moments that are predicted, and are created out of thin air, nothing at all requi

 My self-forgiveness and self-honesty are no longer effective, not for a while. And I aim to fix that. One of the things that is constantly in my mind while writing a blog and self-forgiveness online is others who are reading it. I am thinking about how it will affect others, and how they will react to it. I am worried about how it can inadvertently affect others, in ways that don't seem obvious. And I have this painful intuition on my body that responds when I do things. I am really in a fucked up situation. Its like I am scared to live. Cause I had my heart broken. Which is what has happened before several times in my life. Except this time it was my deepest wishes and desires, of friendship, camaraderie, sharing, openness, community. It was my faith in humanity, the goodness of others. That being said, its not your fault or their fault. That is who we are now, we are quite messed up, evil mother fuckers, quite demented, quite broken, quite sadistic, ruthless etc...  I remember w