Yogan's Journey to Life

I am starting to remember and assert who I am. This Journey is long. One of the things we have to do/face is stopping our emotions, such as fear, anger, hate, and love. What this actually means and entails, requires remembering how you were as a child. As a child, you were capable of expression that wasn't based on feelings/emotions. You were capable of such expression that wasn't based on what you felt, or on other people. You just were. You were the expression, be it a Hug, or a kiss, or a dance, or a song, or a painting, or music, or laughter. That expression was real, and it was you that was real in that moment. That is what it means when I say we have to stop our emotions, because we aren't living our expressions when we are staying within our emotions. Even the positive feelings like love, or joy has become something we feel and we react with about other people. It has become a mask or a picture, like a smile that we present to others. It is NOT REAL EXPRESSION. IT ...

Time to Recreate myself again. I see now that I have been developing and participating a desire to have someone else like me around. Someone that I can talk to in depth and detail about the mind, about all the details. all the dimensions, all the aspects and observations as if it was a fascinating scientific pursuit or study. To be able to share and make cross-referencing with that person regarding any and all dimensions of the mind/body and our experience. To discuss the techniques and methods used, as well as describe the mind system, treating them as universal things to study/catalogue and so share and discuss as something mutual and applicable to all of us. SO I was developing that desire. And desire means energy. Desire are system. All desires are system as long as they operate within energy. Its possible to make a decision about what you want or go after it, all without energy within it or behind it. That is not what I was doing in this case. I had a life long desire, that sp...

I won't accept and allow being Kind and being Fake about it, so Smiling at someone, being courteous, yet when it comes to actually being supportive: the support isn't there. Because what really matters is being Real, and so really supportive of each one. No matter their situation or who they are: we can support them within their position. Because we can push for the best from each one. To give more, to be more, live more, apply more, create more. Because the point is to bring all points here, all people here, all application here so that we may grow and create more, and stand as one and equal. But Kindness, Positivity, Friendliness, and Smiling means nothing if its not backed by real supportive actions by the person, or real supportive and practical words. The following must end: Hypocrisy, Being Fake, Anger, Fear, Jealousy, Comparison, Ego, Hiding, Pretending, Lying, and so basically any other point that is not aligned with standing in Everyone's shoes as equal: ...

So, I'm standing again in clearly seeing the Life that is here as me. What this means is that how I see myself is a being, a something that is life- if I create an imagination about it in order to describe it- it could be seeing myself/my body that is right here in his moment as I sit in this chair and type, and seeing that inner body as like a blue light that is my body. Its not about an image, but if I were to use an image it would be that. How I see myself is about seeing myself as life- meaning that I have no beginning and no end, that I am standing with and by every single part, particle, and speck in this existence, from the great to the small. So I committed to support every single part/person/thing in this existence- no matter who it is or what they have done. Because there are no enemies in reality/existence- there is just people/life that may be exercising power in accordance with their programming and in ways that is not what is best. But there is no enemy, there is no n...

I have found an interesting thing. My tether to this world. It is something defined within the mind, but I can see I can redefine it and live it as words. My tether is what gives me the sense of living, of hope, and potential and there being a future for me in this world. I find that when I look into myself as my life timeline that my tether to this world relates to Being Understood by someone and finding that one someone who does See me, Gets me, understands me. So its an imagination. I imagine finding such a person and see the potential of the human people that I would find such a person somewhere. I have had this throughout my life since childhood. I can see the negative polarity of seeing myself as not understood by others, or heard by others. That I am alone in this world, and so feeling frustrated, tired, alone, meaningless within that. And so having this idea of finding someone someday who does understand and get me is what motivated me through so many times in my life. I ha...

Fairness, what is it? It is certainly a word. It certainly has a definition. Based on how the word is used, the word fair is often used to express an emotional protest to something, often in the contest of another receiving something more than you. Hence the phrase: "That's not fair!!!" What is interesting is that the word equal can be used, instead of fair, and equal does not have an emotional meaning. What is equal is equal. So you can say that those people and myself are not equally receiving the same thing. Naturally, anyone who is quite stable and seeing things rationally would ask why? Why is this person receiving more than me? The answer will depend on the actual practical physical context. Maybe its a game, where the winner receives a prize. So they receive the prize cause they win. It can be grades (or marks ) where a person receives a higher grade (or mark) if they answered more questions correctly. It can be many answers. What is interesting is that when ...

Im not the only one So these words are specific, "Im not the only one." At first glance, they might not seem much, however I ask you to look at these words with me: "I'm not the only one," and join me in asking ourselves have I really lived these words and the realization/truth that they are? In my life in totality, I haven't because I have for the most part only considered ME, and my life, and what mattered to me. I wasn't considering other people, and their lives. Today there was one such instance that I would like to draw upon within redefining and changing me, and my behavior and how I relate to others, and this world. I won't go into the details, like dates, facts and names, about this event, but the principles and nature of the event is important. I was reacting to a specific person, and it was a rather unusual and peculiar reaction. So I was working at understanding what is going on here, until I came to the point that I am not the only...

So to further strengthen who I am and my position, I will be writing out the programs that my mother and father have given me as a child. Each program I can already guarantee, do not assist and expression of Life as who I am here, as all as one and equal. The closest my parents ever got was to oneness, and this oneness was not equal in all parts, it was still a hierarchy of specialness. So I will start with writing out all the programs first, I mean shit, within me, and in subsequent blog posts I will walk each program from start to end, with self-forgiveness, until its done. Ok, so one program is the "your just a child, you don't know anything program." Your just a child, you don't know anything So adults often think that they know more than children. Now this is mind-boggling to me because adults were children once. And I as a child remembered knowing more than the adults often in very basic living things. So its actually in reverse at the moment, children kn...

Pain  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate  myself from pain. Low I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare myself to another, such that I feel worse, "low." "I Know" I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to say I know when I do not in fact know. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to present myself as knowing when i do not in fact know. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide and suppress knowledge. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from knowledge. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide and suppress myself.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide and suppress emotions.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide and suppress memories.