Yogan's Journey to Life

 So another blog on the human mind/programming details using myself as the example.  One of the reasons why blogging is supportive is by having your programming out there in the world, it frees you. Because part of it is keeping it a secret. By saying that you have this issue, then people can't use it against you.  Fear can only work in the moment/here. Fear doesn't exist in the past or the future. You can only ever feel afraid now. The same with everything else really. The only thing that exists is what is here/now. So if you find yourself thinking about some future moment and feeling fear, then realize you are only feeling fear right now, and so all you have to do is to move yourself in this moment. Step out of the fear in this moment. And so don't think or believe that a future fearful moment will happen. I notice this type of thinking of feeling afraid of being afraid of like a future moment. So your in your mind thinking about how something will happen and how you wo...

So I see this point within me of the Secret Bully. Where in specific situations, where my mind sees the opportunity to activate, then it will be here: the Secret Bully. The design works as follows. It finds the perfect situations where basically another person will be confronted with me as the Secret Bully, but because we are alone, and because I don't do this openly with groups of people, and moreover I be Good with groups of people, and present myself as a good guy, that it would be strange odd if they were to tell anyone about it. So its highly specific. Understand this is a design, and given that I am writing it out, it loses its power. Because when you write out the design, the pattern, when you expose all the moments where it occurs, then it becomes powerless, because then you know it. When its kept secret and unspoken its like you don't know it. That is why the Secret Mind exists, to keep you trapped, and keep a level of power over you. Your only choice is to stop...

There is a choice between Life or Energy. You can't exist one and equal as Life, with and as this Existence/Everyone, and simultaneously be of Energy/Polarity/Emotions/Feelings/Mind-puppet. Just like how you cannot be simultaneoulsy a person who is living as the self-directive principle of their life, and be a Slave/Reactive-entity to others, where you can be triggered. In ANY MOMENT, you are EITHER one or the other, and its a CHOICE. In every moment there is only One Truth. Its not a matter of debate/opinion, and that itself is already a part of the illusion of the Mind and part of the Separation: THE IDEA OR BELIEF THAT REAL TRUTH DOESN"T EXIST, THAT OBJECTIVITY DOESN"T EXIST, THAT THERE IS A KNOWN, AN ABSOLUTE, A POINT THAT SIMPLY WHAT IS AND ANYTHING ELSE IS A LIE OR FALSE. I mean obviously part of the illusion and deception has at is ultimate goal is to somehow even make the TRUTH unknownable or to even HIDE or DOUBT its existence. I mean that is where you really F...

There is a very interesting mind system that seems best described as a personality within me. The reason why personality is because its basically like a person or has a personhood to it. It has a flavor and it has a presence to it. And its a personality within me because its like Dr Jekyll and Mr.Hyde, its something hidden, and when it is here it is like I am a different person. The reason why I am making it seem so dramatic or so extreme is because it is. Because when I started to open this up really, I was suprised/shocked yet at the same time not, that I was laughing and smiling about things which I would never do. So what I am saying is that its not something I was conscious of, to extent of being fully aware enough to even say it exists, or even say it is how I am describing today/now/above, like with the words of it being a personality within me, it being like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I didn't see it like that at all. Until now. What is interesting is now I have that awar...

This is an economic/world system post. So I read this article that interviews Chomsky. https://jacobinmag.com/2020/03/noam-chomsky-bernie-sanders-reform-labor?fbclid=IwAR1lqwspL2ZVDyh8NX_xhlLLr9KGx4HTUhX6bRqoApbiX48UW9BhY2BW3W8 So Chomsky is pretty old now, and he along with several others figures I can name: Bernie Sanders, Chris Hedges, are all old together. And they all throughout time fought for the truth: not for money or fame, and not for conspiracy theories. So basically I am saying I trust them because of their life long commitment to the truth and you can see it in their actions. There are not many people that I can say I trust to deliver on their word/promises and with what they say being true. So in the article he touches on and briefly introduces the point of what has been happening in the world. There is a class warfare as he called it. Or a corporation warfare or business warfare, where corporations and businesses have actively fought to suppress workers and to re...

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing emotion and feelings. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing others to stay in emotions and feelings. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abandon others to their illusions, delusions, and emotions/feelings. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not try to help others walk out of their mind. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give up on helping others leave their lies, illusions, enslavement. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place any value above the individual freedom of each person, where I must help them to walk out of my mind, and where I have been valuing different things like my status, my reputation, my perception by others, my wealth, my anything. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think anything could matter more than helping someone walk out of their mind. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think there co...

I grew up in a household where God is Love. I do believe that for every single person, we have that point that is our absolute potential of who we can be and thus what we would do (because doing flows from who you are). And that potential is god-like, divine, because you are an amazing fucking person. Strong, Courageous, fearless, Expressive, Fun, Creative, Giving, Committed, Impassioned, you Know who you are, Disciplined, Understanding others and your Role, Owning up to your Responsibility, Deep, Flexible, Saying/Doing exactly what is needed, Owning up to your issues, weaknesses, Patience with yourself and others, Diligent, Consistent, Forgiving of yourself and others, honoring your relationships, honoring yourself,  taking the initiative, taking the first step, trying and failing, trying and succeeding, Living. And more. That is all of our potential: every single one of us. How we may live these words may be unique, and has its own flavors: yet here the words are and they are a...

So stemming off from my recent blog post https://yoganjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2020/02/day-801.html , there comes moments throughout my day where I am reacting, and I am breathing, and there is a moment where I simply have to decide to Delete a point, or let it go completely, where it is so completely deleted that I am not focused on remembering it or it occupying my focus and attention, yet I can go back to remember it if I need to, but for the most part its not here anymore, its not relevant anymore. What I am saying is that I am noticing this difficulty of letting go and deleting/stop something so completely. I am seeing how I am holding onto points, where I have already done all I needed to already, and the final step is simply to stop, and let go. Pure and Complete Deletion. I am reminded of a vlog recording Gian did last month regarding lord of the rings and how Frodo had trouble letting go of the ring. So its something like that. Its like Deleting requires like a sh...

Where am I afraid to go? What door? I am afraid of being with people who are attempting to manipulate and control my actions and behaviors through manipulating my environment, by withholding certain things from me. I am afraid of being in a situation where someone is trying to keep things away from me, that take things away from me. I am afraid of being in a situation where things around me are being moved without my decision, and so there is chaos and unpredictability. I am afraid of being treated in a way where it’s purpose is manipulating my behaviors, and how I feel in order to make me afraid/compliant. I am afraid of being told I am responsible for someone else’s feelings, where I will be punished and held accountable if I don’t ensure I make someone else feel good. I am afraid of being chastised and reprimanded. I am afraid of someone taking actions to change my physical reality/space in order to punish me or control me. When I ...

  I am going to be making some absolute statements here: First, what matters more than anything is this one process I am walking for myself. Meaning that I have these ideas and pressures of needing to give something to the world and to many people, and that I need to have success or leave an impact. So I'm saying absolutely that my individual process is more important and it comes first. So who I am here in the body is what matters. My fears, my emotions matter in that I must direct them, and that any excuse or reason of wanting to leave an impact through career or money or something in the world is unacceptable. So what comes first is this Self process, and so the Truth of me. Who I really am in the moment. What fears I am accepting and allowing? What anger? What emotions are here? If I die and no one knows me or remembers me. If I leave no legacy. If all I do fails. What I am saying is that none of that matters and what matters is this one thing: Self, and my process of s...

As it is described in the Desteni Material, I found the following to be true: that we have a being who is placed here in our chest areas of our body, and that we have a mind conscious system who is placed its emotional churning center in our solar plexus or stomach region of our bodies, and that this is an energy center where it will send energy to the head region where Thoughts are created, Backchats too, and the general mind activity. And that what the Process that we all have to walk as Humanity in order to be free is to amalgamate with our physical bodies. What this means is realizing that Who I am is the Being here in the chest region and that I can essentially stop/ignore/ stop-participation regarding the Mind. And so this means that I am here in the body sensing reality, seeing the immediate space around me without thought, and so with that kind of silence. Where I realize that who I am as Choice, and Awareness and Decision is a being who can YES create with the mind on pu...

Happy Birthday to the new day. Here we all are on Earth. And today is a new day. In this day and in this moment we are faced with this one process of realizing ourselves as life as everyone. To truly see others as ourselves, to truly see all that exists being equal. This is the challenge. And the way to walk this process, and the only way is to stop the energies of the mind, which are emotions and feelings. That is the only way it can be done, because how we are have been living is by letting our minds, our emotions and our feelings decide for us through reactions. We have given up our responsibility and agency in believing that our personality and our feeling good or bad is what matters or is even real. None of the systems and the mind is real in this reality. None of the personalities, none of the stories, none of the images or projections are real. All that is real is the physical. The physical is plain as day and it does not consist of a story or personality. Its quite boring in...

So, I'm standing again in clearly seeing the Life that is here as me. What this means is that how I see myself is a being, a something that is life- if I create an imagination about it in order to describe it- it could be seeing myself/my body that is right here in his moment as I sit in this chair and type, and seeing that inner body as like a blue light that is my body. Its not about an image, but if I were to use an image it would be that. How I see myself is about seeing myself as life- meaning that I have no beginning and no end, that I am standing with and by every single part, particle, and speck in this existence, from the great to the small. So I committed to support every single part/person/thing in this existence- no matter who it is or what they have done. Because there are no enemies in reality/existence- there is just people/life that may be exercising power in accordance with their programming and in ways that is not what is best. But there is no enemy, there is no n...

Walking the World System is tough. Where to begin? -You have to be popular, or likeable. It's like highschool, where you know everyone out there is in their positions not because they are the Best person for it, or have the highest level of integrity, its because they were likeable/popular. Because that is how most people work. That is the majority of us humans. So that is what our workplaces become. - Lying gets you ahead, as long as you don't get caught. I mean look at Trump. And the same is found everywhere. Look at Ned Stark in Game of Thrones. If you have integrity and tell the truth, you immediately aren't popular cause you don't fit in. Your hiring managers and everyone high in the company got there by lying and cheating. If you don't do the same, you are different than them. You're a threat to the system. - I would like to bombard and get rid of the world system, but even if I did, even if humans went back to a rural, physical lifestyle, no...

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not knowing what to do and so try to listen to others, and look to others to direct me, instead of listening to myself and who I am, and so living who I am, no matter the situation. Time to listen to the voice Inside of me. Time to step out of the closet. Time to live Me, Yogan in everything I do, instead of Living someone else or something else. So no matter the situation, apply the Me, the who I am, the Principles, and what I, Yogan, would do. Ask what would I do? Standing/Existing as that Inner Voice So I wrote the above this morning after doing self-forgiveness. I just uploaded a youtube video on this inner voice, and can be seen here: https://youtu.be/WNEfqQCHH98 My Inner Voice... its funny that I saw Westworld and it came down to the point of the Inner Voice. The Robots in the end, found their inner voice.  So what I saw this morning was how my being, my inner voice, is here alwa...

Continuing from yesterday's post: https://yoganjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2019/04/day-711-i-chose-to-live-more.html If you are trying to stop the mind for the first time, you may come across the following. You may feel crappy/weird/odd or even dirty in your body. The simple reason is this, you have so long been preoccupied and distracted in your mind that you haven't ever really felt what you really were going through on a day to day basis. So welcome to the real world AS they say in the Matrix Movie. The basics are this: which you can find a nice summary on eqafe in these series https://eqafe.com/p/self-awareness-steps-for-the-elite-introduction-part-1    So you have multiple layers to the mind. The first three are Conscious mind, subconscious mind, and unconscious. There are more. Anyway, back to the point. So just stopping that steady stream of thought already is a drastic change to how you perceive reality. Then stopping your energy. So Thought produces energy. Tha...

I choose to live more passionately in my blogs and vlogs, like how I used to. I have held back for different reasons. I have decided though that its worth it to do it, to live passionately in my words and expression as what's best for all and that whatever may come of it, I can manage it. Its worth it. So lets start: What is best for all and oneness and equality. What is best for all is stopping every single thought. Every emotion. Every Feeling. The Mind itself is based on Energy, and it relies on these points in the mind.' The Mind mines its energy from the body. Yes mines. It harvests its energy from the physical matter, and destroys the cells/tissue and harms it in the process. Participation in the Mind feeds off the body and accelerates aging. Stopping your mind is the utmost priority. To change this world is to change yourself. To take responsibility for this world is to take responsibility for all that is happening in it. And everything in your minds is...

I am walking a process of living words. Today I am taking a word that I have lived in some areas of my life already and expanding it. The word is Pumped Up. I have lived in during this last year at my physical labor job, where at any moment I may need to lift something heavy or do some intense physical movement for the job. I also have lived this word when I am doing something my life where I am directing with that tenacity. Body Dimension - In my body I feel what I am calling adrenaline with being pumped up. -In my body I feel I have access to all the sugar and glucose for my cells and muscles to move quickly, and very effectively. -In my body I feel so strong, so awake and so ready to do anything. -In my body I can push my limits and go strong. Being Pumped has dimensions of Directiveness, and being in control, calm. A very masculine presence where I do shout or speak loudly, yet very much to the point and non-emotional. Incorporation: -I can incorporate this word Pumped U...

Judging myself for doing what's best for myself. Judging myself as bad, not good. Feeling stressed about it. I'm in a possession, so just going to do self-forgiveness unconditionally to start. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as a bad for doing what's best for me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel stressed about doing what's best for me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hate myself for doing what's best for me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deny myself what is best for me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel burdened by doing what's best for me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think and beLIEve that I am not allowed to do what's best for me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist doing what is best for me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel drained of...

Being Alone There is a system within me that 5 parts to it. Each part relates to this Trauma of being Alone growing up, being alone as who I am, being alone as my story, being alone as my past, the physical behaviors and ways I act out due to this Trauma of being alone. The 5 parts of the system are: 1.      Feeling/Thinking my life is meaningless and purposeless. This is very well captured by the end of the Bohemian Rhapsody song “Nothing really matters, anyone can see, nothing really matters, nothing really matters to meee…. Any way the wind blows….” These have been constant and consistent backchats in my recent days going back to several years. Where I would try to stop it and stand up from it, though never really ending it or changing it. But I did use this as a starting point to write out my purpose to become a data scientist and use that money to create my life and support the life of others. So I didn’t let it stop me, I worked with it however w...