Yogan's Journey to Life

 I have been working on the Positive/Negative Energies, surrounding Optimism and rose colored glasses. I suspect the following: that my lazy eye is due to the preprogramming of viewing the world and everything through extreme optimism and hope, as they say viewing the world through rose colored glasses. I used an astrology website https://www.zodiacsign.com/ to see the levels of preprogramming that exists within me. This lead me to the term of rose colored glasses, as it had indicated that as a weakness. And when I looked at my entire life, I indeed have viewed the world that way.  In my teenage years, I would delve into memories like a drug, and I would delve into Love as a drug. The first time I ever saw porn was around 13 years old. And when I looked at the kind of dreams I had as a child, I was preprogrammed to chase love. When I looked at my previous post on Love, it ties with sex is true. It drives the birthing of children. All done within a possessed state. All done wit...

 One of the things needed is strength. And the greatest source of strength is breath. People of the mind and of the current world system will tell you that strength comes from emotions like anger, or fear or love. And they will act that way. But that is not real strength, since emotions are just mined versions of the body's matter. The substance of the physical is the source that allows for the mind to even exist, and play out its illusions. The physical owns it all. Thus by standing with the physical, you own it all.  That is how we will change the world, through simple physical actions as physical beings. Where the physical takes over. No more allowing the realm of the mind to exist in these bodies. If you want to know real power, just breath. And end your mind. That is the one thing that normal people of the system cannot and dare not do, would be to end their thoughts or challenge their thoughts. Thus that alone is proof of the lie and of the enslavement.  So free you...

 I am back from my job again. Yesterday I wrote about my reflections from my reactions to my job/work. Today I was also focusing on stress again, and I was more successful in stopping the stress. At the end of the blog yesterday I finished with saying how I was breathing to stop positive energy. So I had trouble ending positive energy. I tried searching Bernards blog on topic keywords of positivity, and I found some useful points. One point is how the more negative you are then the more susceptible you are to positive energy. So I concluded that the high amount of positive high I felt was due to the collective stress I felt as negative energy during yesterday. So it was concluded that it was already done, so it was a outflow consequence. Another point in one of his blogs was about stimulation and how everything works on stimulation. Both the Physical world and the Mind operates on principle of stimulation. You can stimulate animals, plants, the body, and also the mind. So I applied...

So I see this point within me of the Secret Bully. Where in specific situations, where my mind sees the opportunity to activate, then it will be here: the Secret Bully. The design works as follows. It finds the perfect situations where basically another person will be confronted with me as the Secret Bully, but because we are alone, and because I don't do this openly with groups of people, and moreover I be Good with groups of people, and present myself as a good guy, that it would be strange odd if they were to tell anyone about it. So its highly specific. Understand this is a design, and given that I am writing it out, it loses its power. Because when you write out the design, the pattern, when you expose all the moments where it occurs, then it becomes powerless, because then you know it. When its kept secret and unspoken its like you don't know it. That is why the Secret Mind exists, to keep you trapped, and keep a level of power over you. Your only choice is to stop...

There is a choice between Life or Energy. You can't exist one and equal as Life, with and as this Existence/Everyone, and simultaneously be of Energy/Polarity/Emotions/Feelings/Mind-puppet. Just like how you cannot be simultaneoulsy a person who is living as the self-directive principle of their life, and be a Slave/Reactive-entity to others, where you can be triggered. In ANY MOMENT, you are EITHER one or the other, and its a CHOICE. In every moment there is only One Truth. Its not a matter of debate/opinion, and that itself is already a part of the illusion of the Mind and part of the Separation: THE IDEA OR BELIEF THAT REAL TRUTH DOESN"T EXIST, THAT OBJECTIVITY DOESN"T EXIST, THAT THERE IS A KNOWN, AN ABSOLUTE, A POINT THAT SIMPLY WHAT IS AND ANYTHING ELSE IS A LIE OR FALSE. I mean obviously part of the illusion and deception has at is ultimate goal is to somehow even make the TRUTH unknownable or to even HIDE or DOUBT its existence. I mean that is where you really F...

I have found within me a point of placing parts of myself, my expression, my visions, my living words, simply parts of myself within People and Objects in my Life. So it sounds similar to the Horcruxes that Voldemort used in Harry Potter. And I suspect that unconsciously that point was picked up and written in that story because it reflects something real. I suspect that this is something we all do. So what this means is that parts of myself is defined within the relationship to that person/object. For example lets say the willingness/eagerness to socialize with people and communicate/share is defined within one person in my life. So I have all these various parts of myself that is defined within people and objects in my life and what that means is that if something happens to that person/object than it can feel like I lost something, like I lost a part of myself. Have you ever seen yourself go through such a thing or seen others go through such things? It seems to me to be something...

I know, war is an extreme.  I have made the decision that its necessary to declare a war on feelings. This includes all feelings, including intuition, happiness, love, joy, excitement etc... Anything that involves your feelings about something or someone. Feeling like someone is bad or good, or someone is untrustworthy. Any kind of feeling that involves translating that feeling into a belief. So that means when I see someone who looks homeless, that I don't judge them as homeless and I don't make a feeling about them, or accept and allow a feeling about them for example. This includes when I see someone that looks Beautiful, that I don't see them as beautiful, or as trustworthy or good, or bad, or bitchy, or whatever. I don't think or feel anything about them, or anyone. Instead what I do is see directly here in real time what is going on, and who people are, and whats happening actually.  It is necessary to confront all feelings, because how else will expressions...

When I was a child my aunt told me very specifically how a woman can be very beautiful, but be very nasty, ugly on the inside. Since then I have had that view of who a person is is what counts most of all. Also why the desteni process and focus on SELF, and who you are is the most important thing there is. Real beauty as expression has nothing to do with Energy- Energy as the Mind- Energy as Feelings- Anything about Positive connotations etc... Not good or bad as energy/emotion/feeling or judgment. If you start with this starting point then you will be able to explore what Beauty is as an expression.... But until you do that, you will only have an IDEA about what beauty as self-expression is. There's no amount of thinking or preparation needed. Just start in the individual moments---- if you have any energy movements with regards to anyone's image/appearance, good or bad, STOP IT. Keep doing that, and don't stop. Eventually you will get to the point and understand. ...

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to procreate I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be willing to compromise who I am, my integrity and principles for a wife/woman partner I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be willing to suppress myself, my voice, the voice of what is best for all, to hide anything that can be judged as aggressive or distasteful in my words, in my blog and vlogs, in order to appease what I believe women would want. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try to conform to this idea of what I think a woman wants: a man who is masculine but not threatening, intelligent but not condescending, strong but not aggressive, is interested in the woman but not intrusive, is attracted to the woman's appearance but is not shallow, is soft, gentle and kind, but not feminine, is submissive to the woman, but still confident. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe it cou...

Recently I wrote out this phrase,  "When you are really faced with the Heat of yourself, the Darkness, and the Deceptive Light of yourself.... no one's motivation or words will be the saving grace.... its all you baby! haha. We need Self-Willed individuals.... and that process is like the formation of diamond. Its under a lot of pressure and takes time." And the specific words, the Heat of yourself is specific. It encapsulates and captures a very nice meaning, and real time moment with the Mind and reactions that I have lived and I'm sure humans everywhere have lived/faced. I would like to unpack this to bring attention to it, for it may assist others and its a very nice reference for that. I also will cover the solutions as well and taking responsibility as well. Facing the Heat of Yourself I notice that Heat is very much connected to two things you have Romance/Love, getting caught up in the heat of the moment... and also the moment when you are in a heated a...

Flustered and Clumsy I had an energy experience and it kind of got me stunned/locked in position. So I named the game. The names are Flustered and Clumsy. That is what I am feeling now as I write this. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel Flustered I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel Clumsy. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel Flustered being afraid of saying the wrong thing I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel Flustered with saying something stupid. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel Flustered with coming across poorly I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel Flustered with sounding dumb to my new friends I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel flustered while imagining messing things up with what I said and people uninvite me to a hangout, or I get ignored from future invites I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myse...

 Okay Im going to be laying out a System Design of mine, so read carefully. When I was 18, I already developed this system of Love where I can access that energy of Love whenever I wanted. It would be brought here literally in a moment. This speed and easy signifies that it was pre-programmed in my nature/design and that I practiced/accessed it heavily, across my life which I did. So the extent of this system is in the facts that I would spend a few moments/hours/days with a girl my age and then "fall in love" with her, which meant that 18 I said to these ladies that I will always love you, I love spending time with you, I will always be there for you, and its not only what I said, it was my presence. I oozed love at them. They knew that I loved them, even though I only met them, spent very little time with them. So in this way I initiated all of my relationships. I was the one who created the point. I manifested the relationship, even though at times it was the ladies who ...

I am walking a process of living words. Today I am taking a word that I have lived in some areas of my life already and expanding it. The word is Pumped Up. I have lived in during this last year at my physical labor job, where at any moment I may need to lift something heavy or do some intense physical movement for the job. I also have lived this word when I am doing something my life where I am directing with that tenacity. Body Dimension - In my body I feel what I am calling adrenaline with being pumped up. -In my body I feel I have access to all the sugar and glucose for my cells and muscles to move quickly, and very effectively. -In my body I feel so strong, so awake and so ready to do anything. -In my body I can push my limits and go strong. Being Pumped has dimensions of Directiveness, and being in control, calm. A very masculine presence where I do shout or speak loudly, yet very much to the point and non-emotional. Incorporation: -I can incorporate this word Pumped U...

So if you would have asked me, or if I would have asked myself, what Strength is Last Week.... I would have said/shown like standing up, being rigid, muscular, pushing, tough. But that's not all there is to Strength, and the current definition is not appropriate in certain contexts. So this is what I found, being gentle and embracing what is here, no matter who it is, what they are doing, what they said, what they lived, embrace and accept what is here, doing this.... doing this is the antithesis, the complete opposite to my average response of Strength. In the age of Donald Trump, that definition of Strength of being so masculine, being tough, pushing things through, being rigid, being sharp is clearly shown to be what is is. And that is the natural response for me. SO something that I have been doing unconsciously is breathing in sharply. In seemingly random moments. What I'm seeing here is this, that breathing sharply is me activating this strength, which plays out ...

Judging myself for doing what's best for myself. Judging myself as bad, not good. Feeling stressed about it. I'm in a possession, so just going to do self-forgiveness unconditionally to start. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as a bad for doing what's best for me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel stressed about doing what's best for me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hate myself for doing what's best for me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deny myself what is best for me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel burdened by doing what's best for me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think and beLIEve that I am not allowed to do what's best for me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist doing what is best for me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel drained of...

I was considering titling this Desteni, the most positive message that exists... The thing is that Desteni won't always exist. Desteni is  group of people with a purpose. And the message of Desteni is aligned with the heart/spirit of existence of life itself. This heart of life goes beyond anything you can conceive of or think about. It doesn't belong to anyone alone. It isn't contained within just the Desteni group. Desteni is the vehicle in which this message can come into creation, be aligned with the beings of this physical reality. And this heart of life, the very nature and essence of life, more beautiful and more perfect than anything, yet its found everywhere, embedded everywhere, yet not being lived by the beings. Life is not bound by the polarity of good and evil, right and wrong. It is not positive or negative. One way to put it is that the heart, spirit or essence of life is beyond the definitions of positivity currently lived in this world. Too many...

I have someone who is dependable, reliable, is THERE, and it is freaking me out! Cause my systems are activating... What are these systems? What is happening within me? I am going into self-doubt 1. I am second guessing what comes up within me as what I would normally say to the person and share with the person. I am feeling a strange constant state of happiness for no apparent reason 2.. I see this is here because I believe/see I have this person here, they are always here, they are reliable, they are going no where, an its a FACT. So in my mind I'm reacting in this strange constant happiness. Another way to look at it, is that it should be normal and the norm for people to ALWAYS be there, to be so trustworthy, and reliable, and simply SHOW UP in the relationship... that its so normal its boring or not exceptional. And we can live normally. 3. I am getting quiet and reserved because of 1. where I am second-guessing myself, not trusting myself, because I am afraid of say...