Yogan's Journey to Life

There is a particular writing voice I want to practice. Its one I have used before. Maybe it will help or maybe its effective. Let's see. Clears my throat. Hi humanity/world, my name is Yogan. I am walking a process with my mind/self. To stop the mind/past, and reconfigure myself into expressions that are best for all, and applied in moments. Right now I'm walking processes that are specific. I'm trying to understand specifically what is going on with certain mind points/personalities. Part of my conclusions as what I need to do is to try to live what is best for all more. To in moments where I am not sure what exactly to do or say, that I try my best anyway. And so I keep on trying. That is what I'm doing now with this blog. I don't know where its going exactly. I don't have some plan or outline. I suppose its like rambling. But I am trying. I am trying to find a way to speak what is best for all and put it out there. I have walked a lot of mind, but ...

It really is a cool alliteration. D esperate D esire,  De De , I'm using it to describe something within me. I had already described Desperation as a key word, along with anxious and nervous. I had a memory where I was pulling on my parents arm, telling her to go, that I wanted to go! I was like cmon! cmon! cmon! lets gooooo!!!! already!!!! CMON !!!! The emotional state that I was in was Desperate. Looking at my current moment. I desperately want something. I desperately want this, and so desperate desire then. This is in relation to a person. Where I want to be with this person. At the same time I can draw a contrast here to perfectly illustrate the reality of desperate desire as emotion. In contrast to desperate desire, what I want as having a family, having kids, having a partner that I can share such a deep intimate connection with that we would be connected simply by our words hundreds of million miles away from each other, that I can see their soul, that they bear thei...

Two blog posts ago, [ this one ] I wrote about my meaning and purpose in a totally NON-philosophical way. I wrote out my exact purpose and meaning for my life, that I chose for me, as of right NOW. I can live this NOW, and I can expand upon it and deepen it. It is something I can stand behind. This is making purpose and meaning practical. It is actually writing it out for what it is, and what I'm living. My written purpose and meaning REFLECTS my daily life and what I can allot time to. Because it is not as simple as ONE thing. It is a few things, a few handful of goals that I accomplish each day. Who I am bleeds into my purpose and meaning. Who I am provides the foundation for purpose and meaning. And practically looking at it, it is a statement to STATE and to then LIVE. My purpose and Meaning.  My purpose is to work a 40 hr a week job, pay for my needs, give money to support the desteni process, in so doing I support with money the development of awareness in peopl...

So in the following voice clip I talk about the Positive Energy behind Anger, and its worth listening to, However there is more to the story. Today I learned that when you feel angry and you feel good while angry, which involves you smiling slightly as a tell, or you are blaming someone, its just bullshit. Its unacceptable completely. Now, when you feel angry and you feel bad, its something different. Its a sign that you need to SPEAK UP. Why do I say this? Because I feel a kind of anger that I feel bad within. I feel I must speak about oneness and equality and the injustices in the world. I must speak about how we can all change and how we all have a responsibility. I must speak about and point out our flaws and problems. This is like a shameful anger, an anger about suffering in the world. I feel this same kind of shameful anger when I have been teased and bullied. I didn't speak up then. I should have spoken up and stated my truth. I know who I am, I am THIS WAY. And set t...

One lie has tremendous power. Telling the truth is not about being good. Being Honest is about what is best for all. You wouldn't want to be lied to, so you can't lie to another. If everyone lied, then we wouldn't be able to trust one another. Lying actually creates an inefficiency, it wastes time. Economically it wastes time, and so effort and so money. Lying is the same as secrets. When we keep secrets we also waste time, and so effort and money. When we refuse to share and open up information we create inefficiency, we waste time, we waste money. When all information is known and shared, when all technology is open and shared, honestly, truthfully than we as a whole progress, we as a whole prosper.  One lie gives permission to lie all the time. When we deceive, when we hide, when we hoard, when we attack, it creates inefficiency, we waste time, we waste money. If all the competitors shared all their knowledge, all their technology, all their secrets, when everyone sp...

Looking back across my life, I have had many desires and dreams fulfilled. I have experience great things. I have experienced what's its like to be in a relationship. I experienced what its like to have lots of sex. I have experienced what its like to feel so much love. I have experienced what its like to have amazing friends. I have experienced moments of great laughter and fun. I have also had my dreams fulfilled. I was able to work and do what I really wanted. I was able to do things I have always wanted to be able to do. I have conquered so many fears and limitations. During the last years I have experienced somethings strange, where it felt like I had done what I always wanted, and that I have no goal to work towards. At the same time, everything that I desired and wanted was false. This including the places I wanted to work. This includes all of my relationships and friendships. None of it was real or lasted. They were all temporary. Now looking back across my life ex...

So why do you clean the dishes? Because you are given in return the gift of clean dishes. Why do you clean the house? Because you are given in return the gift of a clean house or living space. So, here we are emphasizing the importance of seeing the Gift within doing of things. What gift do you receive in return? In comparison, you could look at the consequences of things. Why do you clean the dishes? Because you would have dirty dishes otherwise. Why do you clean the house? Because you would otherwise have a dirty or messy house. So one mistake or problem that I have faced is only focus on the consequences of not doing something. Within that I would feel afraid of creating the consequence. And this would actually lead me to create the consequence partly because I was so afraid/stressed all the time. I was not instead focusing on the benefit, gift, and so receiving in return for what I effort/time that I gave. So practically it is best to keep in mind everything that is invol...

Yogan Who am I? What is my story? So I am trying to define myself, and place myself into words, categories, and descriptions, such that it encompasses my whole life, and all of my life experiences. I have experiences that cover spirituality, new age, gurus, christianity, philosophy, psychology, academics, living in the United States, specifically Miami, Florida, Hispanic culture, the Spanish language, going to public and private schools, being a guy, being an introvert, having dogs and cats, having divorced parents that get along, having a brother and a sister, being 24 years old, having a bachelors degree in psychology, having lived in Portland for 4 years, while studying at Reed College, being a straight A high school student, feeling lonely/alone, having crushes, being in relationships, having had sex, wanting to be married with someone forever, not knowing what to do with my life, not knowing or being sure there is a God, also not even caring because I hold myself to my own ...

The fear and desire of receiving attention on my blog. I feel fear and desire when I write on my blog, because I know or have seen in the past that people read, see, or visit my blog. Within a moment of seeing the statistics of the number of views on my blog posts, I feel excited and energetic. I feel happy, thrilled and enthused to see this. Within the moment of writing on my blog, I feel tired, resistance, fear, stressed, that I just don’t want to do this THOUGHT. I feel like running away and avoiding writing on my blog at all costs . So I stop and I breathe   I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel fear when I write a blog post that will go on my blog, A Behaviorist’s Journey to Life. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel desire when I write a blog post that will go on my blog, A Behaviorist’s Journey to Life. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to receiving attention from people....

In some ways I see myself as a lesser man than 12 months ago. I have become more daring and more risking, but these qualities alone mean nothing. I used to judge certain people who we social, smiling all the time, as sort of correct, and who I was as being quiet, which I did not see myself as quiet or that as a problem, but that others saw me as quiet and I saw that that was a problem, because it was a problem to them. SO I have to learn not to take what other people think are problems with me, as a real problem. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take on what other people think are a problem for myself and judge that as a good thing.   I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take what I think other people will have a problem with me, as a problem for me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take what other people think is a problem for me, that I am quiet, and make that into a problem where I think I the s...

During the last 2 days I have been exploring some points within myself. I decided to start over and give myself a do over with myself. To start from scratch. So Im no longer accepting any thought as valid. So I bring this up because I am looking now at the point of morality and how this has served me, and how it is proving very useful to me. Now, in my mind, and perhaps in the mind of all men, there are certain things, which we may judge as Ok, or acceptable. Porn could be one of those points. For me, I can't explain it in any other way, but porn is unacceptable because of the message you are giving for seeing women and men as inferior, and as less than who they really are. We are not images, we are more than just that. So there is something wrong within reacting to the image of the women and seeing just the image and nothing else. The same goes for men. So, from the point of view of the mind, there is nothing wrong, because no one is getting physically hurt. But I know something h...