Yogan's Journey to Life

Remembering my life and who I have been. I have been many different persons. I once was a person very much in love and obsessed with one person. I remember all the love and pain I felt. I was in so much emotional pain. Remembering the emotional pain I felt, it feels like no physical pain would mean anything in comparison to that. This is my evidence that love is the real evil. I once had the relationship I wanted. I had lots of sex. I felt close, intimate. Then I found out the person was someone who was not committed to me. I realized that I made a mistake. I realize I needed to change. That is when I started Desteni. I was ready. I remember being like 7 years old and sad. I remember being happy in regular class, and when I moved to gifted class everything changed. the kids in regular class were friendly and sociable. The kids in gifted class were super serious and intimidating. It was like being in military school, or where everyone was a robot. I remember feeling just weird, ...

Quest-ion: what is a connection with another person? So this is a question I have. So in scanning my memories, of all relationships with any human beings... in general I perceived my relationships as one sided, meaning that how I felt did not have any necessary connection or influence on how another person felt. This statement of observation was shown to me many times, wherein I would feel good around certain people and connected with them, yet the relationship would end or drift apart. This tells me one thing, that people couldn't perceive how I felt, nor who I am, such as what I think. And to be able to perceive that, would require that it be spoken/expressed. I notice that I didn't often expressed what I perceived or felt. And when I did on a rare occasion, people would be shocked/startle to see this side of me, or perhaps should I say me.  So I noticing something quite funny right now. Look at this: I was known as quiet, and a select people enjoyed this, and s...