Yogan's Journey to Life

 So, there is this statement that we cannot control other people, but we can control ourselves and who we are with things around us. So what I see within that is Fear. Because we can actually control who we are with other people, and so we can stand in a way with other people that does control/determine the relationship with that person. Control= Power= Responsibility. Being someone like Bernard, like how he was in his agreement with another person, which is who he is in a relationship based on principles that is openly agreed to and discusses, that requires having that Control, Power and thus acting from the knowing that you are responsible for the outcome. You do it, because you know it has an affect on all. You do it because you know that this shapes reality and changes the course of the future for this person and for others.  Power is scary, like real power. Real power is the kind of power that can only come about when one Realizes ones Responsibility. Power that is acted ...

Aloneness is highly valuable. I realize that the space of aloneness that I had as a kid where its like I could be alone with me and my body even though I was in a entire classroom of people. And with that aloneness I was untouchable, I was safe and free, and more so I had Me. I could Imagine scenery and things happening. I was secure and safe. And no one was pestering me, stalking me, bothering me. No one was after me. I was left alone,  I was respected. But having someone stalk me, go after me, pester me constantly, and me accepting and allowing that is not okay. I have to fight and defend my right to be left alone and at peace. Fuck off! Leave me be. I want to be alone. I don't want to talk with you. I don't want a relationship with you. That Aloneness is sacred. And that aloneness does depend on money. Owning your own space on this earth. Unfortunately that is how it exists, but we have to fight for equal money so all may be free to be alone and create. Being respect...

When I look into my body, I see tension. Why is there tension? Because of I am thinking of other people. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think about other people. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be focusing on me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think about how I am perceived by others. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think about how others would respond to me. Is there anything else inside of me? More tension. Why is tension here? I think about failure. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think about my failure in my goals. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think about the failure in having an impact. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think about the failure to have the impact I set out to do. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think I am a failure. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to t...

I am afraid of disrupting things. I am afraid of standing out. I was masturbating the other day within using my body and physical expression, and so without using my mind. Not thinking about women, not thinking about any images. Just purely physical expression. And I have a fear. I have a fear within being independent of stimulation of women, and their images. I have a fear that if I were to ever have a relationship with a women, and I tell her how I am committed to not be stimulated by her as an image or her as an idea. That with sex it would be a pure physical expression where I am responsible for my own orgasm within that, and that so is she. Where it is an act of self-expression and not a stimulation of the mind through triggers and reactions. I have that fear. Because I fear standing out, being different, and not being accepted by others. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being a different human being. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing ...

There are some people who I interacted with briefly and they went ahead and made some choices where in my mind I am thinking it was because of me, I caused this. I never really let it go. I blamed myself. I know that its not my fault. So its time to do some SF. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take responsibility for other's selves. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try to be responsible for who someone is. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I can be responsible for who someone is. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be responsible for the self of another person. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself try to take ownership of another person's self, the who they are.... I cannot, its impossible... I can only take responsibility for my self. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself blame myself for what another person does or decided to be. I forgive myself fo...

This morning I found out something about the mind.... a memory from when I was told "Yogan, listen to me you don't know what you are doing" OMG I can't believe this...You are so weird and different. So I did self-forgiveness on this moment/memory and the reactions... and I had a peace within me. A quietness. The reaction that was haunting me was held together by LOVE. I loved my friend, and he was the one that told me these words. So because of Love I listened to him and believed him. Because of love I validated his opinions and beliefs about me. And it stayed with me. Love is unnecessary. I realize that. Because you can hug a person, you can talk to a person, you can do anything with a person, and you don't need LOVE to enjoy them. Love is fear. Fear is love. Test it out yourself, when you love someone, will you take in whatever they say about you? Don't you start to accept more shit, don't you FEAR to lose them? You do. That's the human nature or...

Even Einstein had a mother, had people in his life. He was born in a country that had stability. He had school, he had teachers. He had food. Now, I didn't look up these facts, but its logical. Its logical because of how things work. The point is that in my life everything I have done and have achieved, everything I will do and achieve, everything is due to many many people who have been there for me and supported me in some way or another. These include parents who fed me. Now, even if your parents were alcoholic and abusive, they also did things that supported you, even if it was just food. The point here is that no man or woman is an island, no man or woman does it ALONE. Your literal body was born into this world through two people, and your defenseless helpless as a baby. You somehow got raised. Not everyone makes it that far. So yes there are bad things. There are wars, and instability. Your country may not be safe. And these are all bad things. So when you look at someone li...

What is held within the word family? What is the information that we carry within from our life experience that is stored within the word family? Your Life Experience, this Word, the Information, all of it will be activated and lived/possessed when it is turned on. The word is turned on with the proper triggers. Your family will always be your family. When you compare how you behave, what you physically say, how you sound when you are speaking as and within the word Family, to when you are not, there is a difference. When you meet a stranger, when you meet someone for the first time, there is much respect and civility. How come with the people we have known the longest, our family, can the really worst of us, the really evil of us can exist? Maybe its because we have defined our family as always being our family, and that no matter what we say or do to them, or they unto us, that they will always be our family, so it is okay, because they love you DEEP down. When it comes to fami...

I want to be free VS. I want to take responsibility Some people say they want to be free from their mind. You can also say, free from the burden of my mind, free from haunting thoughts, free from guilty memories etc… These are all similar to saying I want to be free from my mind. If the above example is not easy to relate to, you can try others, such as I want to be free from my problems, or free from this annoying person etc… Now, compare the above examples of wanting to be free to wanting to take responsibility. Because you may say to me that you want to be free of all of these bad things that are happening in your life, but then I have to ask you are you willing to take responsibility for your life? At that moment, a person will hesitate. Why is this? This is because the person in some level of themselves know that they haven’t been taking responsibility for themselves in these situations. And the real solution to their problems IS to take responsi...

Understanding your emotions and feelings is a tricky thing. It requires time to investigate them, to understand why you are feeling a certain way, to see whether it is something you really want to feel, or to see whether it actually makes any sense to feel that way. But if you spend the time to understand them, you gain the power and ability to change them into something better that is an expression of who you are. Sometimes you will find that it doesn't make any sense to feel a certain way. Like with feeling irritated with having to wait for something/someone. Because you self-honestly know that feeling irritated while waiting doesn't make any sense, even though you may have excuses and justifications for it. And when you do change how you feel, and stop certain emotions/feelings, your life can become better, where you actually gain back the power to create your life exactly how you want it, and become the exact person that is the best version of yourself possible. And thi...

To care is scary..... it is scary because you have to give up freedom. To care means to be a servant. Imagine or remember caring for something/someone. You had to support them. That is not freedom, or free to choose or do what you want to do. That is being there for them, to support them, care for them. If you want to be free in every moment, then you can never care for someone, or have them ever trust you. Because to care for someone and to gain someone's trust means that you are committed to them. Being committed to them, means that you are not free to break that commitment. Freedom then is overrated because obviously, breaking commitments/promises, is not something desirable for you or for those around you. You want to be surrounded by people you can trust, that are dependable. You want to be a trustworthy person. For some reason, fear exists when it comes to losing freedom. Even if that is the freedom to abuse and to break promises/commitments. Freedom then is something...

Previous posts My relationship to myself. Origin Story Part 1 My relationship to myself. Origin Story part 1 My relationship to myself. Origin Story Part 1 My relationship to myself. Origin Story Part 1 My relationship to myself. Origin Story Part 1 My relationship to myself. Origin Story Part 1 So like I have shared in my previous post, I am walking a pretty massive point, and I have decided to take it each individual point that makes up the massive collection point, one by one. So yesterday we looked at something very specific that I saw myself participating within it. I will share today what I have done since then which has been to apply the corrective change. So the main point that I opened up yesterday was that I was brainwashed on how to think, how to act, etc... so the correction is to decide, to direct. So that is what I have applying. Now I know it sounds simply to just say the words, decide or direct. So to describe in a little more detail the challenge th...

Im going to share one of the secrets to achieving your goals, whatever they may be... this secret is to plan for them. Take a look at this, when you look at the work place, what do see? Do you see schedules, and planned assignments? Yes, everyone is on a schedule and clock. But who creates those schedules the people? The individuals workers? No. But then who? The Businesses, the owners, the ones who create the structure. So you have all these businesses with preset and preexisting structures, and if you want to enter one of these businesses and work with/for them, you must what? Follow the structure, plan and schedule. That is what successful businesses do. They stick to the plan. What is one thing that schools teach/assess? A persons ability to follow the rules, turn in assignments on due dates, follow a schedule, and sticking to the plan. These are important things? Why and to whom? They are important because you are making effective use of your time, and they are important to the ...