Yogan's Journey to Life

Self-forgiveness I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be sad and depressed over losing a friend I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be hopeful that they will return one day I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry that they blamed me I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame myself for them leaving I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be tired I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think about them I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to be free of my reactions about them no matter the cost I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define and expect all relationships with people will end in the same way as them I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel hopeless and depressed that I couldn't do or say anything to keep someone from leaving I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be inadequate and blame m...

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of talking about Desteni with a potential partner I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of talking about oneness and equality with a female I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of being assertive, adamant, confident and sure of myself when speaking about process, the tools, desteni, and oneness and equality I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to suppress and hide Desteni from a potential partner I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to only present that which is light, fun, and likeable about me to a potential partner I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to change myself and put on a presentation to a potential partner that isn't me, and is suppressing myself, my words, my stand and my principles that I'm living of oneness and equality I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myse...

I remember the Joy I felt in my first relationship. It was pure happiness. I was purely innocent. Naively happy. Believing they are the one, and I will marry  them and we will live happily ever after. The expression of being innocent and joy, these are hidden here in plain sight. This kind of joy there is something real to it. The separation is the fact that I only tied it to this one person and to this relationship. So that when they fall away and pursued other people, that my joy and innocence went with them, or so it seems. Really it is right here in me. Living this kind of joy and innocence with everyone is a real thing. It can become a living word that I choose to live on command. Except now I learned about what it would take to set up a relationship with someone for real now. Because initially I wanted to be with anyone I could. I just wanted to be in a relationship with SOMEONE. This is not right, and this is not real. It is a recipe for disaster. The kind of sadness...

Let's talk about the Real Evil in this reality. Today I saw how I automatically started speaking in a SAD WAY, even though I didn't feel sad. I spoke this way automatically because I needed to tell someone something and I didn't know how to, and if I spoke this way it would make it easier for them to hear me. Because when I speak in a sad way I manipulate the person. They can't feel angry at me. Cause I am sad, and that brings out emotions in them. I have faced people speaking in a sad way to me and that caused reactions in me. So this is PROOF that we manipulate people automatically, unconsciously. Was I aware that I was doing it? Only when I saw in the moment that yes I was speaking sad, and no I did not feel sad. I did not make a decision to now speak sad. It happened automatically. So theoretically I can see how we all as humanity are like this. We are all manipulating all the time without really being aware of it. Afterwards I had a good feeling. I felt good ...

https://www.facebook.com/Destonians/photos/a.156500847756254.40073.108425792563760/1700888423317481/?type=3&theater When we embark on a new journey, we don't always know what is ahead of us. While our decision was crystal clear, our motivation strong - we can get distracted by the sceneries we pass, the seasons that change, the travelers we meet, the many cross roads we face. Voices from the past, telling us we are making a mistake, that we should give up and go back to what we've always known. We get caught up in the tests, trials, temptations and even good times along the path we walk. We may want to get off the road as soon as possible, or perhaps set up a tent and decide that where we've gotten is far enough. We may forget about our initial decision, as if it was in a past life, perhaps even a dream. In a way, we're all in our own Odyssey journey back home, to Life.   What moved you to start your process to birth yourself as Life from...

When I had a partner I told her that I love her equally. We were talking about how come we loved each other, and I told her, "In truth I know that I could love anyone equally, meaning that it just happens to be you, but it could have been anyone." Suffice to say, NO ONE, in present times, would want to hear that. What do people want to hear, they want to hear how you are special, how you are so beautiful, so wonderful, so precious. My father even tried to teach me that. So this is no secret. But I didn't do that in that moment. For me, I tried not to add any energy to the relationship. I tried to maintain oneness and equality. Because relationships based on specialness or unequal love, is a lie. If you love anyone more than anyone else, that is a lie. Equal love is true love. Equal love is loving everyone equally. This isn't a grand statement. You don't try to increase the energy within you to feel love for everyone. You actually decrease the energy within you...

So I decided to write out what person I would accept and allow as my partner. I am sharing it here and I will break it down and explain the parts. However, to really understand each part, really and fully , would require you to actually walk it and live it. Knowing something only through knowledge and knowing something through living it are different. "They would need to be, walking self-forgiveness in writing and speaking. They would need to take self-responsibility. They would need to be self-honest. They would need to be committed." Parts 1. Self-forgiveness Because that means they can change, through letting go and becoming the solution to the problem that is them, which is all done as a movement of themselves.  2. Self-Responsibility Because it means that they accept that they are responsible for everything they do and say, absolutely.  3. Self-honest Because it means that they can be honest with themselves about who they are now, wh...

How Desires really work Desires are things you want, for example a desire for a romantic relationship with a partner; Link: The Desire for a Life-Long Partner Test. It seems that when you a desire you would surely get what you want, right? Let's self-reflect on this question shall we? Have I fulfilled my desires and how long have I had to do so? In my life, I have had the desire for having a partner, and I am 26 years old, and so I have had 26 years to fulfill this desire. What I have seen when it came to my mind and my desire, is that who I am and how I am, is not actually built in such a way so that I would attain this desire. For example, being afraid of not having a partner, which itself prevents me from being comfortable and confident which would in theory attract a partner. Yet my fear of not having a partner is a manipulation of myself to push myself to go after a partner. And so what ends up happening is that I end up thinking about a partner, and imagining what it w...

The following is a self-reflective and mental exercise to test yourself with to see whether you have a desire for a life-long partner. Imagine yourself, or place yourself here; all of who you are, bring it here. Now, imagine the world and everyone in it. Now pretend or imagine that the people you desire for relationship: male, female (gay, straight etc…) do not exist. That only the people that you don’t desire for a relationship exist. Reflect on how you feel, how you would act and behave, who you would be, what you would do. See if there are any differences.   Any differences that exist between who you are now and who you would be is evidence or proof that you have changed who you are as a person just so you can have a relationship. If you have a desire for a life-long partner, then you would have changed everything of yourself so that you can get what you want. So you can look at how you talk, how you walk, how you make your appearance, what you like or dislike, your o...

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So there's a reason why I have this title. Because they are triggering, and words about conflict and fighting, such as "Vs." draws people's attention. Also in combination with Valentine's Day, which invokes usually positive feelings, its the perfect combination of positivity and negativity. So my title's wording is to bring in readers. At the same time however, it describes exactly what I will talking about today. So today is Valentine's Day, and what does this mean for me? In the past it meant, someone else. In the present, it means me. Do you see why now I wrote this title? There is a difference between the past and the present me. And there is a difference between me and another. Intimacy with me is quite an interesting thing. Its truly everlasting, not so much so for the typical relationship. What is the ideal relationship? You meet someone by fate occurrence, they are your perfect match, you fall in love, get married, have kids, grow old toget...