Yogan's Journey to Life

https://eqafe.com/p/the-consciousness-of-the-turtle-part-1 So I had mentioned in the last blog I wrote, how I was applying a lesson that the above shown interview had. Now, this is within the meditation type realm. For those who meditate, this interview helps clarify something significant. So for me, I had still believed and  at some times thought that to be unaware or to be oblivious to the body was a good sign, meaning that you are so still and silent that the body feels like a blank slate with nothing moving. However, this couldn't be farther from the truth. As the interview points out, that this is actually you entering into a specific place in your mind, where you become unaware of your body, through a suppression of those experiences. The experience of being in the body, as I have been showing myself is a constant movement, where it feels like the legs are resonating, and moving, and circulating. And that is constant. And yes it does change, so even how it is resonating, ...

So what does this mean? For me it means to see my patterns that I don't see as patterns. Here is an example for demonstrative purposes. One pattern is that I suppress a lot of what I feel. So why is it useful for me to see my pattern? Because, when I see that I just felt something, and then I am immediately feeling something else, then I might be acting within this pattern. And so my question to myself is, what was I feeling just before, and why was I feeling that ? So when I ask that question, I look for the answer, and I learn what I was feeling before, why I felt that, and that I was reacting to what I felt. So I forgive reacting to what I felt, because I don't want to be separate from parts of myself. From doing that, I understand who I am in this moment, and so I can direct myself.

SO one of the hardest points for me to get over is trying to convince people of things which I know is true. Like the point of oneness and equality. The strange thing is, when I heard the point the first time, I knew it was a true description of how things worked. It explained so much to me, even in a way how everything works. I also remember how by the fact people become nasty when hearing this message, it already invalidated them, and at the same time demonstrated how the message is true. Because the truth that you are one and equal to what you accept and allow, is for some strange reason judged as bad by the mind. I don’t get it, and I can’t explain why the mind would do that. The mind perhaps perceives it may die, by why ignore the truth that this is how you really live.   The mind itself seems completely invalid and unnecessary. Its like an extra layer of bureaucracy, just a waste of time and money. You never accomplish what you REALLY wanted to accomplis...

Is conditioning good or bad? I can see how the enslavement point of the mind is good because it contains the evil that we would spew forth. I See the mind as a test- to reveal who we are. If we stand up one and equal to the mind- what we accept and allow and don't accept and allow indicate who we are. If we simply hang back and allow the mind/wind free reign claiming it is a divinely wind/mind that it is the breath of god itself, that it is a gift given to us, that we cannot drop it stop it, because we could be giving up something special that defined who we are from the moment of birth- that it is us there is no question- we don't then see. See, what is going on in fact. And within that not seeing, that deliberate decision to not see to not check to not investigate and find out- we are responsible- for all that will happen and has happened because we did not hold ourselves accountable for what was occurring, what was manifesting in our world. Can we claim innocence? Is there ...

Laziness. Where have i accepted and allowed laziness to manifest? its funny, laziness does not have to be inactivity. Being here could be an "inactivity" for a moment and breathing while i sit for example. Though its not inactive. In looking for laziness, its in those moments of walking to the cafeteria to eat where i am lazy in that i do not walk in equality with the physical. Being unaware of yourself is laziness. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be here and walk with the physical while walking somewhere. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be here when sitting while on the computer.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be here when using words in speech or in writing. I commit myself to be here with the entire physical body, including the hands, feet, legs, pelvic area, belly, back, shoulder, neck, chest, arm pits, face, top of the head, back of the head, belly button, the inner organs, the b...