Yogan's Journey to Life

 So I stumbled upon something recently. It is about Fear. That fear can be experienced as a positive or negative experience. So the idea that Fear is only something negative is wrong. And because of what I learned about Anger some 2 years ago, that it can also be lived in a positive way, then it makes sense to conclude that perhaps all emotions/feelings can actually be experienced as positive or negative.  This is a revolutionary perspective. As it brings the focus more on energy and how we are perhaps choosing or living experiences based on positivity/negativity, so polarity. Because the end goal of the mind is simply to garner more energy for itself through experience, and it doesn't really care whether it is positive or negative.  A brain scientist might say that emotions/feelings are just chemical experiences in our bodies. To which I would say that if you look at how we actually relate to it on a meta-physical level, then it is interacting on the level of personality...

What do I feel? Fear. What do I fear? I fear losing access to people, to being cut off and shut out. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing access to people, to fear being cut off and be shut out. How do I feel now? I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear standing without fear. Nothing. I am remembering my day. There were moments where I was angry, irritated, yet I did self-forgiveness or I pushed for stopping the fears, emotions, anger. I succeeded in feeling nothing again and in acting/doing what is best for all, I went beyond my limitations. I pushed for integrity of my doing and not for money. In the nothingness, I am home. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear taking responsibility for other people and this world, through who I am in absolute detail. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear going into the depth of a person and seeing all of who they are and all that is here within my ...

I am taking a tune from Joe Koe https://www.facebook.com/joekou He wrote about being Unapologetically Authentic, I believe so. The following are my own words and how I understand it, though if you want to check out Joe above I highly recommend it. If the words/message is different that how Joe said it, well then that's just me. So take from it what you will. Being Unapologetically Me, means saying to everyone that I stand for what is best for all. I stand with Desteni which has been slandered/insulted by being called a Cult. Though I do stand with it, even knowing the repercussions that the average person may be too stupid to look deeper into it and be merely scared by it being associated with it being called a Cult by some anonymous people, who have crafted a fictitious tale around it. Part of the very problem of humanity which Desteni provides a solution for, is related exactly to how and why people REACT to the word cult. Because it deals with our REACTIONS. Are we here...

 I'm too good for this world. This phrase has many meanings/interpretations, read on. One of the things that perplexes me of human behavior is when two people are kind to each other, are happy with each other, and enjoy each others company and then all of the sudden, BAM, it ends. But its not always the simple, though: it ends? What happened? So who I have always been is someone that never went into pushing people away. I know never is a strong word here. But with every person who did BAM, decided that they weren't my friend anymore, I always accepted/respected their decision, but at the same time just couldn't believe it. Meaning, I would ask myself: then was everything they said and did a lie? Did they not really been happy? Were they not seriously kind? Who were they within all the times we had together? Were they just fake/kidding? I mean that's only natural to wonder that. Especially when I was here not wanting to push them away or end things. Yet here they...

So I have been working on this Mind Design earlier in the week. It is massive. It has many interconnected parts that form something of a conspiracy theory because each part rested on another part, and fitted so nicely with the other. I could do something of a lecture of explaining all the various parts and how they fit together. For now though I'm going to continue with what I have been doing which is just sharing a part of it. A bitesize piece. So within what I am looking at, there came up this interesting point. With Friends I can see something like their presence in the room, where if I close my eyes I can know it is them. This feels hard to explain. Let me start again. Each person has a presence, and with some people it is extremely clear what their presence is. And their presence as their expression is so strong that its not defined by their image/appearance of their body. It is something like their nature or way of being. Or something like the way that they choose to expr...

I have someone who is dependable, reliable, is THERE, and it is freaking me out! Cause my systems are activating... What are these systems? What is happening within me? I am going into self-doubt 1. I am second guessing what comes up within me as what I would normally say to the person and share with the person. I am feeling a strange constant state of happiness for no apparent reason 2.. I see this is here because I believe/see I have this person here, they are always here, they are reliable, they are going no where, an its a FACT. So in my mind I'm reacting in this strange constant happiness. Another way to look at it, is that it should be normal and the norm for people to ALWAYS be there, to be so trustworthy, and reliable, and simply SHOW UP in the relationship... that its so normal its boring or not exceptional. And we can live normally. 3. I am getting quiet and reserved because of 1. where I am second-guessing myself, not trusting myself, because I am afraid of say...

So reality brought before me moments with people that are from my past, and so recreating the dynamic of relationships and moments from my past in front of me. So here I am literally facing my past again. Within me and as me I reacted, I reacted in the same way I have reacted before in the past. My reaction so to feel stressed, depressed, misplaced, anxiety, unsettled. Within seeing this, that I what I am facing is literally my past in this moment, then what I have to do is walk this moment HERE, the only moment that is here, as the Me that I am now, that I direct here and now. The past is gone, even though people are here recreating the moments and living it as themselves, they are NOT me and I am not bound by the past, or by past rules, or by how I should be because that is how I used to be in relation to them. I can create here, how I am, who I am, in the moment, without Shame, without Guilt, with Peer pressure. I stand as the new me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing ...

So I had a moment of success where someone was manipulating me through confidence/anger/aggression and when that moment happened, I instantly in a flash had recognize what they are doing and being aware of who I am and the pattern of reaction and what I have walked in my blogs/writing. So in that flash moment I then didn't participate in the game of reaction where I became very physical and there was no emotion reaction within me, where normally what I would feel would be nervousness, intimidation, weak and agreeableness. So I spoke myself in that moment as that, basically pointing the reality of the situation, neither good or bad, just what is. In that moment the person also changed, they stopped their manipulation point. So because of the process I have walked so far in identifying manipulating, when someone is manipulating and my reactions, and their responsibility and my responsibility, I assisted that person and myself. What happened next though was that they were kind of re...

So yesterday I was looking at the biases that I have toward women, which include seeing them as better, more honest, more intelligent, more trustworthy, and nice, and kind. And this was brought up thanks to looking at the manipulation that I have faced. Now I have already covered using Confidence, and using anger. And yesterday I sort of started introducing the point of using kindness, and being nice, and happy to manipulate. In this blog I am really going to focus in on this topic. Now one context where I have constantly faced being treated with kindness and happiness is when I was a child. This is something all children face. We treat children with kindness, and being nice to them and happy. So how is this manipulation? Well, how about when you tell a child in a great big happy voice with excitement = "why don't we go over here and do some finger painting won't it be so much fun!!!"  So the child gets excited by what you are saying and follows you and then starts ...

So saying/making the statement I don't care what other people think of me, I feel guilty, bad, resistant like anyone who ever makes this statement shouldn't. Because they are probably suppressing something, hiding something, and that's why they are saying it. Well here is an example of utilizing myself to create what is best for all. Because if I don't even take my thoughts seriously meaning I am actively stopping, and not listening or trusting any thought within me. Why in hell would I feel any differently to what other people think, the thoughts other people have, the opinions, beliefs, judgements, statements. I mean I would only be making it equal, how I view my thoughts, and other people's thoughts. So when I made this statement I saw a change, where I become more effective in what I do. Thoughts are thoughts. Whether they are within you or another person. Its still a thought. Thoughts in themselves are not in the physical or substantial. And the thought...

Popularity, Likeability, loveability. Now, something everyone faces is when you are faced with people or persons, and someone, perhaps even you, has a form of like or dislike with another person. A simple point, no? However, can one person's opinion, belief, or view point of a person ever completely represent who that person is in fact? For some the answer may be difficult to say and face. The answer is no. However, how many times has each of us witnessed, or committed ourself to such a point of view? Plenty of times, no? This isn't an easy point to work with, because you are dealing with emotions here. There can be anger, irritation, annoyance, even love or joy. The difficulty here is to be able to really see the person for who they are currently , without getting stuck in seeing one point, either positive or negative. Not only that, things can become even more complex when you are stuck within your own reaction towards a singular part of a person, thus even failing to ...

Do you hate or love Democrats or Republicans? Do you hate or love Black people or white people? Do you hate or love old people or young people? Do you hate or love family or friends? Do you hate or love animals, plants or humans? Do you hate or love yourself, everyone, or no one? What I have observed is that when you react to what is here, you place yourself in an inferior position to what is here. However if you accept what is here, as what is here, and then live to make what is here better, and into what is best, then you are living a fulfilled life. Therefore you cannot react to what is here. You cannot react to anyone based on political affiliation, race, skin color, your relationship history, being a friend or family member, for being an animal, plant or human. You cannot react even if they have wronged you and are not doing what is best, are not better what is here, and are reacting to what is here. For if you react, you are simply participating in the same thing that...

What you feel about something doesn't matter. What you feel about yourself... is not real. What I feel about myself... is not real. What you feel about trees, cars, dogs, people, doesn't matter. What you feel about things, is not real. What is real are the actual physical things that are here, that are in front of you, that you see, hear, touch, smell. That is real. What you feel about what is real, isn't real. It's like we are confused inside ourselves, where we believe that what we feel and react to and about what is real, makes what we feel and our reactions, real. It doesn't. What you feel about something is simply what you feel about something. It has no reality to it. It is simply reacting to what is here/real. How you feel about things, doesn't matter. How you feel about things, won't determine or become an action or solution. It is not part of the solution. How you feel about the solution, doesn't make it more of a solution. Taking t...

Previous Posts: My relationship to myself. Origin Story Part 1 My relationship to myself. Origin Story Part 2 My relationship to myself. Origin Story Part 3 So I do believe that I have now seen the source or core of this massive point. But I won't know it until I walk it real time here in writing. So basically what I see is a complex point. This view or understanding of it as complex is probably why it is such a influential point. So let's see if we can simplify things for ourselves. We will start by describing the situation. So you know when you say something and someone get's upset, angry or emotional? So was this because of you or them? What's your final answer? So right now I can tell you that you can't give me an answer, and if you believe that you had an answer, then I say to take a good look because this the complexity I was speaking of. So basically without further information, you can't know whether it was because of you or them. I mean, hon...

I am fairly good at cooking. I am extremely good at following recipes. I can make just about anything with the right equipment, ingredients and a recipe. I know for others, following a recipe is difficult. For me, I stay focused, and I plan a head, what the best thing to do first, and what are the absolute most critical points in the cooking process, and I DON"T TAKE shortcuts. I do it exactly what it needs to be. And I make it good, yummy! In that sense I am patient/diligent/focused. I rather spend the extra time making something really good. I don't have any doubt or fear that I can't bake or cook something with the right recipe and ingredients. Though I notice how others judge me as a good cook, because they can't do what I do, which is to be diligent, focused and committed. That is all I do, nothing more. I'm thinking that they just want to compliment me to get food from me. Because that is what I see them do to my grandmother. I think that is distasteful th...