Thursday, February 26, 2015

Can you feel this? Day 252

Know thyself = Know what you feel. 
Do you feel still or do you feel a movement(s) within you?
When you experience an emotion, what is it that goes on within you?
Emotions are energies in motion. 

Psych -ology


 Psyche -Mental State

How does your mental state change throughout the year: during the holidays, at work, on vacation, with the family, with friends?

Emotions = Energy in motion
Psyche = Mental State

Emotions are energy in motion. Anger, Depression, Anxiety are the emotions. What are the causes for Anger, Depression and Anxiety? What causes the Energy to move?

Anger, Depression, and Anxiety are symptoms, not the cause.
The energy in motion, is a symptom.

What are Anger, Depression and Anxiety indicating? 

 What is your mental state?

Emotions = Mental State

Saturday, February 14, 2015

Valentine's Day: Self Vs. Another 251

So there's a reason why I have this title. Because they are triggering, and words about conflict and fighting, such as "Vs." draws people's attention. Also in combination with Valentine's Day, which invokes usually positive feelings, its the perfect combination of positivity and negativity. So my title's wording is to bring in readers. At the same time however, it describes exactly what I will talking about today.

So today is Valentine's Day, and what does this mean for me? In the past it meant, someone else. In the present, it means me. Do you see why now I wrote this title? There is a difference between the past and the present me. And there is a difference between me and another.

Intimacy with me is quite an interesting thing. Its truly everlasting, not so much so for the typical relationship. What is the ideal relationship? You meet someone by fate occurrence, they are your perfect match, you fall in love, get married, have kids, grow old together and die. You live happily ever after right? Let me ask you this, do you have to wait to find this ideal relationship, when you already have a perfect partner that is nearby, that is exactly like you. There couldn't be a more perfect match. Do you know who that is? Will I have to say it? Its You! You are exactly like you! So wait no more!

Yes, I know that you believe that being with you is not the same as being with another person (or is it?), consider this. Consider whether your relationship with other people will be more enhanced if your relationship with yourself, and your intimacy with yourself is greater or more expanded. Consider times where small little things about another person caused you to react or get angry, like maybe they chewed their pencils, or they smiled in an unusual way. And when you speak in that anger or irritation, that this caused some disruptions in the relationship. Now the question that may be coming up is why am I getting angry over such small points that hasn't got anything to do with the actual person? Well, this is where self-intimacy and self-investigation starts. Do you see how that works? So the more intimate and aware of yourself that you are, the greater and more enhanced your relationships can become.

I have a challenge for the reader: recall problems you have had in relationships, where you can identify the root of the problem was you, and investigate and see how you participated in creating that problem, and find any thoughts connected to that. Your awareness is your greatest key. And see whether you may still be acting in that same point in any current relationships.

Sunday, February 8, 2015

Boulders of Potential Lives 250

Max opened his eyes. He looked around and he saw he was in a deep valley. There were boulders around, and people carrying boulders up the sides of the valley. Max spoke to one of the people nearby. She explained that these boulders are your potential lives. You can pick and choose a boulder to take up out of the valley to live your life. Max walked around looking at the boulders. They were of varying sizes. He thought to himself that it must be easier to get out of the valley with the smaller boulder. He went out to see the other people. Throughout the day he watched and conversed with the people. He learned that even with the smallest boulders few ever get out or leave the valley. And something else he noticed. Everyone chose the smallest boulders. He asked them, why do you chose the smallest boulders. They said in response, “you know why, just ask your mind.” And they were right because he previously thought that it was easier to carry one of the smaller boulders. Yet despite that it was easy to take one of the smaller boulders, few ever succeeded in reaching the top.
Max looked at this situation. Well, what if my thoughts were wrong? Maybe I shouldn’t be taking the smallest boulders. That is when Max saw inscriptions or writings on the boulders themselves. He hadn’t seen this before, and when he showed them to the others, they couldn’t see them. Max knew what the inscriptions said, even before he read them. He knew he had to take the largest boulder out of the valley.
This is where our story ends, because in knowing Max’s decision, we know the ending/result. Whether Max succeeded or failed didn’t matter, because he would try again. He kept trying until he succeeded. Because he knew he was doing something of value. He didn’t simply accept his first thought or reaction, but he dared to question and look at what is here, and his real options. And it wasn’t the boulder that gave him a better life. It was himself, in building his strength, resolve and perseverance. When he left the valley, he was the strongest of them all, and he used that strength of who he is, to create the best life, not only for himself, but for others as well. The largest boulder said: Do What Is Best For All.

Saturday, February 7, 2015

Art Class Day 249

In town, in a school, there was an art class. A girl in the class made an art piece. People in her life didn't like the art piece. The girl liked her art, so to her, that's all that mattered. She didn't cry or worry that people in her life didn't like her art piece. She didn't feel badly about herself that her art piece wasn't liked by others. She didn't think about whether the next art would be liked by others. She simply made her art, and she liked it.

Why is she like this? She knows it is a waste of time to feel bad about what others think or say about her art. Her art is her creation so its her responsibility. Why would she feel bad about herself think that she is less, or her art is less? Art is art. And she is herself. She is not someone else's thought. And her thoughts are her own, and why would she accept any thought that her art pieces is horrible, when she likes it? There doesn't appear to be a good reason.

In art class she is graded. She knows that the grades in this class have an effect on her future acceptance to colleges. So she also made the decision to give the teacher what she wants, so she can get the highest grades. Because she can do both. She can make art that she likes, and make art for the grade, because why? They are both for her. The grade is her investment in her future, and the art is also for her pleasure. Why? Because her future matters and her present matters as well. They both matter.

So overall she is quite content with everything. 

Friday, February 6, 2015

Charlie the TV Box: Assigning Purpose Day 248

Charlie the TV Box: Assigning Purpose
In a house, in a town, somewhere was Charlie. He sat all day on a table, and faced the couch. He had a nice big screen, not too big like one of those more expensive models. But big enough, and big enough for what? Well, Charlie was a TV box. He sat all day and all night, and would play programming. That is what he did.
Depending on the day of the week and who was home, he would play certain programs. Maybe movies, or a culinary show. There was also Saturday morning cartoons. So this was his life, day in and day out. On and off. Not much to say about this life, huh? This is all he did and lived for. But was this really living? Could Charlie say he was alive? Charlie could say he had a name, he had a job, he provided a service, he had awareness, but does all of that mean he was living?
I asked Charlie the above question, and do you know what he said? No, it wasn’t. Because he knew living is not what he did, despite that he had a job, was busy, provided a service, had a name and awareness. How did he know? He just knew that there was something else, something more to life. And it doesn’t have to do with the work he does per se, there is just something he is not getting or something that is missing within him. So I told Charlie, why not find out what that is? Find out what is missing and correct that within you. And do you know what Charlie said? He quoted one of his favorite shows “why there has never been such a brilliant idea since the birth of existence.” So Charlie got up from right there where he sat, and started his journey.
Charlie spent days, weeks, months until what seemed like forever. He read, wrote, asked himself questions, looked for answers. He discussed with people on such points, sought their perspectives, including mine. Until he came upon something startling. He didn’t know why he spent his whole life being a television. He simply accepted that role and that is what he allowed his whole life. He never really considered or made a decision on what to be/do with his time in this one life. And when he shared his realization with me, I was startled because the same was true for me too! And so we had an idea, to ask and see whether it was true for others as well. And we found for the most part, people felt like they fell into their roles/lives/jobs/works, that there was no agency really or decision making or planning process involved. Sometimes you had people following their passions in life or what they like doing. But Charlie pointed something interesting out. When you ask such persons, why do they do what they do, they say in response, I like doing that. Charlie said he wouldn’t be satisfied with only liking what you do, and doing only what you like doing, because he notice that the pain/discomfort or challenges are things he faced and walked through willingly, which is something he didn’t like, yet it was done because he had a goal to accomplish. So even these people who follow a passion that they are limited to only what is enjoyable/likeable and thus have an aversion to difficulty/hardship. I completely agreed with Charlie as I had seen the same within my life.
Charlie then was on the path to assigning himself purpose, which involved standing objectively, absolutely, and unwavering he found. Because a purpose that does not stand the test of time, and changes in situations/circumstances, is a fruitless and limited purpose and will lead to a limited outcome/life. And if there is one thing we agree on is that we wish to not be limited, but instead have a full life. Ultimately Charlie had decided his purpose, but that is a story for another time…

Thursday, February 5, 2015

Day 247 The Quanari: the grass people and their gift Part 1

There are a people known as Quanari that are marked by a distinct feature. They are completely covered by grass. Grass roots burrow deep inside their bodies, bodies just like a humans. But a new born Quanari child has no grass leaves or roots. You see, there grass leaves are given, grown and spread amongst each other as they grow, and it takes years for the grass to take root. But what are these grasses really? They are thoughts. For the Quanari people, their thoughts are manifested as grasses.
A traveler came upon the Quanari land for the first time, and saw its people. He was intrigued and interested. He spent time among the people got to know them, and they were completely like any human. They had cars, families, jobs, money etc… The only difference was this grass. The traveler learned how the grasses grew, not through direct teaching but from observation. You see, the Quanari would value certain grasses, and it was a point of pride, yet in reality the Quanari were not fully aware that their grasses were connected to their thoughts. They had believed that grasses grew because they represented an intrinsic nature of that individual. So they truly believed your grasses defined who you are and what value you have as an individual. Some had amazing grasses and others had poor grasses, and that’s was just the way it is. Or so they thought.
After years of investigation, observation, and research, when our traveler learned the truth behind these grasses, a curious thing happened. The traveler himself saw that he had grasses of his own! But they weren’t as manifested or obvious as the Quanari, yet they were exactly the same: thoughts. He had thoughts about how he isn’t a good or worthy son, about how he hasn’t amounted to anything in life and so have no value. And what he found was that how he felt and reacted to his thoughts resembled the came coloration and depiction of the variety grasses the Quanari people had. There was a pattern or system in relation to occurs inside of us and the Quanari had the advantage of seeing such grasses on their outward body, if only they were aware of it.
The traveler, and now resident, who has been embraced as a new member of the Quanari society, had decided to work with the people in removing these grasses that were actually thoughts. He went through a lengthy process of showing the people that they had grasses and that they were representations of their thoughts. Only a few that he spoke to showed interest and promise. But he knew that if a few would understand and take on this journey that this would be enough for now, and to start with. So he and his small group started a series of investigations.
One of the curious discoveries of the grasses is that if you tried pulling the grasses out of another person, you could only pull the leaves out, but never the root. This meant that the grass would always grow back. Yet you can show the leaves to the host, thus providing some information or insight into the exact nature of the grass. And each grass was distinct in color and formation. And from these colors and formations formed patterns with specific thoughts. They found that there was a specific system that was more or less predictable based on the appearance of the grasses. The other curious point is that when they were looking at removing the root of the grasses, that only the host could reach down and pull the root out, yet to insure that the existent grasses wouldn’t now take this opportunity to expand into the recently emptied space/land, the exact thought must be identified. Because within identifying the thought which lead to the manifestation of the grasses in that specific spot, the person would essentially occupy that space. Because what allowed the thoughts to form as grasses in, on and throughout the body, was the person. Because remember all babies were born without grasses, and for the grasses to be accepted the person must accept them and allow them. This was the one of the great discoveries made in the small group. With this they made significant changes, in not only in the grasses/thoughts, but within the people themselves. Just like how the traveler had self-defeating and inferiority thoughts, so did the Quanari. And the change required involved what the people would accept and allow within themselves.

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

The Magical Box 246

The Magical Box

Have you ever heard the story about magical the box?
It goes like this...
 On a pyramid somewhere, on the very top, lies a magical box. To open this box you need to first climb the pyramid, and you need a special key. What is the key that you need? Energy. So while you climb the pyramid you must gather energy from the lower levels. In each level of the pyramid you will find access to specific energies that will give you access to the next level of the pyramid. It is essential that any who wishes to open the box to gather the energy. The energy is the key to opening the box. And the more energy you bring the longer you can stay in the box. While in the box all its dark and quiet, it feels like heaven/enlightenment, you become like light. It is a box after all so it is pitch black. But you can only stay in there as long as you have energy. Once the energy runs out, you must leave the box, and climb down the pyramid to again gather more energy. This is the only way to enter the magical box.

So concludes the story of the magical box.

Now, if you want the full story, here goes. There was a man who knew of the box that rested on top of the pyramid. So he would climb the pyramid, gathering energy along the way, so that he can stay inside the box. There were secrets he learned that allowed him to gather extra and more energy to allow him to stay in the box longer and longer. This is something he learned from years of experiences of climbing this very pyramid. He had awesome experiences in the box. And as soon as he left the box, he was already climbing down to again ascend again. So this is what he did. He would climb up, and down. Ascend and descend. This is all he did. He did this until he died. The end. 

Of course, so he thought. He did believe that he would die doing this, and that perhaps he would be able to continue ascending and descending even after he died, and maybe even in a way have access to the box forever in the real heaven. So he expected nothing more, or wanted nothing more than this life. He didn't expect anything to change or intervene in his routine. So what happened? Can you guess? Someone intervened. Someone gave him a hint/possibility that the very heaven he lived in while inside the box was dependent on his negative emotions as energy. The man certainly didn't like his negative emotions as energy and the possibility that his heaven is fueled by his negative emotions seemed unacceptable because then he is not really gaining anything. So the man then started to question and look at the pyramid, see its structure, its levels, and understand how the levels were constructed and how they required energy to access the higher levels. He understood the architecture and structure of the pyramid, until a point where he saw exactly how he had been living, which is the story I share with you today. The man didn't know the story that he was living. He didn't know that he was climbing a pyramid you see. All he knew was that there was a box/space, and while within that box/space he felt like himself, heavenly and at peace. But now he has learned where the box exists, what it takes to open it, the sacrifices he has to make, the energy that must be made etc... if you knew you were climbing a pyramid to access a box that you enter for a short while, which you feel good while within, and then you must start all over again to again feel good for a short while, would you continue like that? I'm sure you would find another way to live, to have another purpose for living, like the man has done.  

Now what does the man do? Naturally the man shares his story and gives the hint that he had received from another man. The hint that led him to question, investigate and learn how his pyramid was structured. Without that hint, would this man have gone this far? No way, the man knows that. So the man owes his life to the great support that was so tiny and small, yet was the spark to the fire that grew. We are all that man, this is our story. We are simply in what part of that story? The beginning, middle or end?

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Being Quiet Part 2 Day245

Quest-ion: what is a connection with another person?

So this is a question I have. So in scanning my memories, of all relationships with any human beings... in general I perceived my relationships as one sided, meaning that how I felt did not have any necessary connection or influence on how another person felt. This statement of observation was shown to me many times, wherein I would feel good around certain people and connected with them, yet the relationship would end or drift apart. This tells me one thing, that people couldn't perceive how I felt, nor who I am, such as what I think. And to be able to perceive that, would require that it be spoken/expressed. I notice that I didn't often expressed what I perceived or felt. And when I did on a rare occasion, people would be shocked/startle to see this side of me, or perhaps should I say me. 

So I noticing something quite funny right now. Look at this: I was known as quiet, and a select people enjoyed this, and say this as a good thing. So guess what? I continued like that because I felt good being quiet, because of their comments and perceptions. Though am I quiet? Is that all I am? Of course not! Yet that is what I lived the majority of my life because of this self-relationship I just described in feeling good/validated because this is who I am, and this "being quiet" is positive/good. I even lived/thought the statement that people should be more quiet. So this was a personal value/self-definition, and I even called it (per people's suggestions) as part of my nature, even born like this (old soul). So within this all there is one extremely important point, I was supported by other people's beliefs in creating the content of this self-definition. As a baby, I wouldn't have thought or ever considered, "I am an old soul." No people gave that to me. I also would never thought "people should be quiet" or that "it is good to be quiet, so I will be quiet." No, people gave me that. These are the sins of the father/mother/culture. And this is what I took on as my self-definition, and called as my being, or Real Self. When really the act of being quiet is just one action. Being quiet is not who I am, being quiet is an action taken in a moment. Yet I notice that action/behavior is what content we use to describe a person's nature/self. For example, the action of swimming. You can call someone a Swimmer. And that can be a self-definition where then you think "I am a swimmer." And that then forms a personality of being a swimmer. The same thing happened with me. And we do this in conversation, labeling one another. We ask: "What do you do?" and people say "I am a lawyer, or doctor or teacher." The action/behavior becomes a personality. The action of Studying. The personality: Student. The action of stealing. Personality: thief. The action of hoarding/hiding valuables: Personality: Greedy. 

so in all self-honesty: are we greedy, thieves, students, lawyers, doctors, teachers, swimmers? The answer is clear. Do you swim? Yes or no? Do you hoard? Yes or No? Do you steal? Yes or No? Do you study? Yes or No? So simply, we perform actions or we don't. We have added Extraneous values to our actions/verbs. 

For example with me, Being Quiet, I added the value of it being good, preferable, higher, better, more pristine, pure, more considerate, caring, cautious, etc... Is this what the act of being quiet is? Not the universal action itself, though on a relative standing point a person may be living several words at once. So simplistically, no way. And is it beneficial to have these extra definitions? No, its actually harmful. So in essence we have tainted our verbs/actions and created personalities out of them. And keep in mind that the personality may have a negative self-definition. The one I am describing just happened to be positive. 

To make the consequences of having this personality explicit: I would be unnecessarily quiet, within caution, and within feeling good/higher, and perceiving me as pristine or more pure. I would refrain from speaking even when I wanted to, simply because of a fear of disrupting someone else, or making some effect onto them with what I said, without knowing or possibly predicting how they respond because it would be something unique/rare/unpredictable. So in sum, I would seek for being quiet. I would strive for being quiet. It was seen/perceived as what was good/ideal/right. And that was Who I am. So that is the lie. 

Personally this personality point is a milestone for me, because throughout my whole life, I accepted being quiet as who I am, and even the times where I was looking for ways to express me, there was this experience in the background like a knowing/acceptance that being quiet is a part of who I am, and so it being a backdoor to simply being quiet when things got difficult, or I was in a difficult situation or I didn't know what to do. Now I am calling it what it is, a personality system, that took one verb/word/action of being quiet, and used that as its basis, filled with positive values, that isn't who I am as the total me, yet that is what I secretly believed. This personality served as a justification, wherein the statement "this is just who I am, I am quiet" was made many many times. And it was reinforced by ALL of the adults in my life. Literally the adults saw/believed this to be me. And the adults did make it a positive belief, basically summarized as "children/students should be quiet." 

I obviously have much to say, and I am not "quiet" as who I am, as the action of not speaking. Your entirety of self cannot be one action, that's just crazy. We are all capable of so many actions/movements. To limit ourselves to one, two or three, is insanity, and a lie. 

So if I look now at the original question: What is a connection with people? I would say this now. That any connections with other people, wherein you are living as your personality, cannot possibly be real/valid. In essence because I wasn't here/present, but me as my personality was. Because its evident that when I start living/expressing me, not within a personalty system, but simply me, that that is first of all real, and is noticeably different, which can reach the point where other people won't recognize you and be shocked in seeing the real you. So in essence I would say you may need to start your relationships over, which I am not saying it happens in an instant, it will probably take some time, though it is something new. A new connection, and perhaps a more real connection, because a real person is now involved, can be established. Are you real?

So if I take me as an example: I have things to say. I would be, theoretically, no longer striving to be quiet, because I dropped that self-definitions and positive values. That is such a major shift. From someone that doesn't speak to someone that does speak. And I have points of views and perspectives. Wow! So obviously people in my past will be like what? Who are you? And some may enjoy this new me and others might not. And some may take longer to accept that this is me. So will my old relationships radically change? Yes, by the definition that I have changed. And my new relationships will take on a radically different dynamic. Where before I would be quiet, and now I speak. Speaking changes things people!

A major difference within writing all of the above is that now when I see the thought/movement/experience of being quiet within me, I recognize it and see it as a system. Whereas before I saw it as my being or myself, or my inherent self. It really is just a system that responds habitually in a way towards a great number of situations, thus being the dominant response/reaction I lived. I also now see the ridiculousness of revering a person that is quiet, and seeing/calling a quiet person as special, or more than the rest. I also now see and stop relating to and having a special feeling for other "quiet people" because I now understand how this system worked with me, and that being quiet is just an action one takes on, nothing more or less. They could have a similar system as I had. Probably so, because people, you may notice, limit themselves to 1, 2, or 3 expressions. So this limitation already indicates that a person is living within acceptance and allowance of a system. 

So there is/was this part of me, that I am now removing, where I would see "being quiet" as an indication of a mature child, or gifted child. Or special, just like how I believed was the case for me. Thus I would have been destined to carry the sins of the father to the next generation, because such beliefs would be expressed through me, my words, and language, to the young children, like the adults did with me, I would have done, and may already have done, the same with the new children.