Yogan's Journey to Life

So yesterdays blog was the intro for these series of blog covering this mind personality. https://yoganjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2020/03/day-813-dastardly-secret.html Today I'm going to start with the walking through the detail of the programming. So less fun description and more breaking down the exact programming. The overarching theme here is enjoyment that is bad. Like laughing at someone else's pain. Bullying others. Being happy when others lose. So the following memories are such moments: Stealing a bottle of bubbles from a fellow student in the 1st grade who won it for some achievement. I saw he was quite happy receiving it. I grabbed it and placed it in my bag. I could see he was sad/upset about it missing. The teacher tasked some students to search the desks/room for it. When they approached my desk, I said go ahead and search everything I have nothing to hide, and kind of did this motion of raising my arms and then crossing it over my chest. I felt a sense of ...

How Desires really work Desires are things you want, for example a desire for a romantic relationship with a partner; Link: The Desire for a Life-Long Partner Test. It seems that when you a desire you would surely get what you want, right? Let's self-reflect on this question shall we? Have I fulfilled my desires and how long have I had to do so? In my life, I have had the desire for having a partner, and I am 26 years old, and so I have had 26 years to fulfill this desire. What I have seen when it came to my mind and my desire, is that who I am and how I am, is not actually built in such a way so that I would attain this desire. For example, being afraid of not having a partner, which itself prevents me from being comfortable and confident which would in theory attract a partner. Yet my fear of not having a partner is a manipulation of myself to push myself to go after a partner. And so what ends up happening is that I end up thinking about a partner, and imagining what it w...

When I am working through my thoughts and desires, something that helps me is to remind myself that I am a person. That I am not a thought or a desire, instead I am a person, that I can move or do things, create things. Saying this helps and empowers me. I am not a thought because I am a person. I am not a desire because I am a person. I can move, do, and create. And so I can decide who I am and be that. I can self-forgive and stop thoughts. I don't have to accept and allow any thought or desire. I can create. I am a person. A thought can only be a thought. A desire can only be itself. So I know I am not a thought or desire, because I am a person, I Am the one that creates, moves, does and can be many things. While a thought can only be itself, a thought. So I am not a thought, I am a person. To say I am a thought is a lie. A thought is something I have accepted and allowed within me. But I can create, move and do things. This is who I am, I am a person.

What does it practically mean to be Positive in this world, in such a way that it supports oneself as well as everyone else? So this means for example, always looking for the solution to problems that exists, that one encounters, and assist others to see the solutions that exists in the problems they face. It also means being proactive, meaning that when one encounters the problem and sees the solution, that one immediately moves to manifesting that solution into reality. That it doesn't just stay within one's mind as a thought or an idea. That one actually creates it and makes it so. It also means that one doesn't participate within problems and create more problems that don't exist. Instead one is able to analyze problems, deconstruct problems so to understand them, because the more one understands the problem, the more one understands the solution. Because the solution is found WITHIN the problem. To be positive in this world means that when one encounters a ...

https://eqafe.com/p/overcoming-self-judgements-reptilians-part-398 For this moment, I am looking at self-judgment within me. I had a listen to the above interview on self-judgments and how to overcome it. I suggest listening to this interview for those who are interested in overcoming self-judgments, because in my blog, I will be only walking my own self-judgments, I won't be providing guidance in how to walk through it, and if you are looking for guidance in walking self-judgments, I suggest listening to this interview.  So I have been looking at this point, and it is a notable theme throughout my past week and the points I worked with. So it does seem subtle, and now I have a self-judgment.  When looking inside now, this is what I see Layer 1: Nervousness. So first, I feel nervous, in response to looking at me, and at this point.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel nervous, in reaction to looking at my self-judgment. I ...

Hi, so I will be, like the title says, reassessing and recreating my starting point for blogging. From now on, I will be blogging on substantial points. So no more surface level, or simply touching the surface of the mind. I will be going deep into points of my mind and the general mind. I will be describing in detail, the energies, my experiences, and thoughts I have. So let's begin! I have potential business client, and with this client, there exist a dimension of hope for the future, specifically that she becomes a long standing and permanent client. If such a future were to occur, this would secure a significant amount of income for me. On a practical level, I have already decided to do whatever physical work necessary, meaning as much physical support possible, within the limits of what I can give without upsetting the balance of time I have, to secure her as a client. Why? I am in the beginning stages of a business, and if I secure a good solid ground of clients, no matt...

So I'm taking this opportunity to define the words, and thus energies within me, for these words: Want, Need and Desire. So similar to how in yesterdays blog I was looking at anticipation, and those positive feelings, I am looking at something similar, something "Positive." So depending on what energy is accessed, one of these words, or some combination of these three words, define the energy. Some of my physical behaviors and changes to my behavior include, Tightness in my stomach/solar plexus, Tensing of my feet, Clasping of my hands. Shutting of my eyes. The energy for me feels intense. In general, now that I can look and reflect on what is going on within me, I feel/become uncomfortable where I am, how I am sitting, laying or standing. I feel/become uncomfortable in/within my body. It is functioning in such a way where its so uncomfortable within my body, that I, for some reason, seek these desire/want/need point. So its as if want/need/desire is defined in order to r...

Knight in Shining Armor So the knight in shining armor is a fairy tale archetype, originating from Medieval Europe. It also relates to the widespread framework for stories involving a male character that saves a female character, and they both fall in love. Within me, I notice such a point, operating on an automatic and feeling level. This feeling reaction I would call feel warm and feeling love. I notice too that there is a connection to pornography, which is another form of story telling, but involving sex. Within pornography, believe or not, is the same feeling of warmth and love, in relation to the female character wishing/desiring/wanting sex. In comparison to the archetypal fairy tale story, the female character wished, wants, and desires to be saved. Within these specific words, and situations, there are images within me, which are energetically charged with the same point. Throughout my life I spent a great deal of time, especially teenage years, thinking about girls, ...

disclaimer: This is a draft, that will get updated.  Resentment, Envy, Disempowerment, Desires, and childhood memories There is a fire within me... Robot Virgins -- Fire (Official Music Video HD) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcF2UgkKq18&index=3&list=UUzdqLahT5x_IlMky_v2TiUg So I have been writing out a mind pattern within me, that is fairly extensive in the amount of levels it contains. This might be the most levels I have worked on in a single point. I am still going to keep deconstructing and opening up the point, and will post it in small subsections, and at the end, do a summary or outline of the point. So the first dimension I will post on is Resentment and Envy. Resentment is the negative pole, and Envy is the positive pole. To even say I have resentment or envy is something novel, so I am uncovering som...

During the last 2 days I have been exploring some points within myself. I decided to start over and give myself a do over with myself. To start from scratch. So Im no longer accepting any thought as valid. So I bring this up because I am looking now at the point of morality and how this has served me, and how it is proving very useful to me. Now, in my mind, and perhaps in the mind of all men, there are certain things, which we may judge as Ok, or acceptable. Porn could be one of those points. For me, I can't explain it in any other way, but porn is unacceptable because of the message you are giving for seeing women and men as inferior, and as less than who they really are. We are not images, we are more than just that. So there is something wrong within reacting to the image of the women and seeing just the image and nothing else. The same goes for men. So, from the point of view of the mind, there is nothing wrong, because no one is getting physically hurt. But I know something h...

There comes a point where you just have to believe in yourself. I face this point now. It opened up in a moment where I was being aware of my body while pointing out what was the mind and what was me. The question came up how I knew what was the mind and what was me. I considered whether it was self-honesty, and I said no. That it was more of a point that I just know it. Sort of like faith. And this scares me a bit from the perspective that abuse is so easy. That I can say or another can say that they are stopping the mind or whatever and it isn’t true. But at the same time, you already know what is truth of what is going on in the moment. So I just have to believe in me that I am capable of knowing and just do it, with no hesitations or regrets.               For a long time faith has been used to abuse, which occurs through its starting point of separation. At least that is what I have understood. Where faith has i...