Wednesday, October 30, 2019

Day 764 Screaming Bloody Murder



So in this blog I am going to be speaking about a Signature of an Expression. For most normal people they won't understand what I EXACTLY will be describing here. So it is something that requires a certain kind of experience with self-forgiveness, with expressions, and understanding how your sound, presence, living words and self-expression INTERACT with yourself, your energies, your reactions etc...

The Signature of Expression is this: Screaming Bloody Murder. Let me try describing what I am referring to. So, there is this part of my mind/reactions that I haven't been able to resolve for a while. And I had a moment where I was pushing for my stance/stand of what is best for all and in not allowing these reactions within me. And it reached a point where I accessed this signature of what would be Screaming but at the highest level of "Hatred" or just general loudness. I said WOULD be screaming because I didn't actually scream outloud, but I accessed that Signature SILENTLY, and INSIDE MYSELF I stood as that point of STOP IT!!!!  NO MORE!!!! And in so doing and accessing this signature of screaming bloody murder, the fears/reactions I had stopped and retreated as IF it got scared.

What I am describing is very abstract, and very story like. It may requires a bit of the stretch of the imagination to understand. It may be best to ground it. Let me share my HISTORY and PAST and this may help.

I understand myself to be someone who would NEVER SCREAM or yell or get angry at that level of like really getting into like this hatred sound. But I did see and witness VARIOUS different people throughout my life accessing and using that sound as a REACTION of course. Someone smashing a plate and Yelling stop at the VERY TOP of their lungs and it scared everyone in the room. Another person also accessing that SOUND in the same way of like LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!

So does this make sense? Do you have your own reference from your own life now? It was something that I suppressed and when other people access that point, I was not able to match them or face them really.

This sound, is a sound that would be a very deadly yelling/screaming. It would have a practical purpose in some situations, someone who is following you and threatening you, you can speak/yell in this sound loudly and it will support you and can definitely affect the other person and keep you safe. The sound of it is saying: man this person is SERIOUS, I better watch out.

There is a quality of seriousness in the sound and intensity. Almost like a Promise. So there is that element of standing. So for me I accessed that signature and I see it as reconciling this part of me, and removing my suppression of this part. And truly understanding and willing to use this SOUND.

RECAP
So a recap on Self-Expressions, they are something that we Direct, and are NOT reactions. So here I am directing the point of the Shouting, and I am not Angry, I am not vengeful, I am not energetic or react. And the act of doing it is an Act, it is an action, it is my voice. And the source of that is me Being, meaning that before the yelling starts, I am in my being moving and initiating and am accessing the resonance/signature of it.

And what I am using is my self-honesty and checking the physical response and application of it in the physical to see, test, and cross-reference it, as well as discussing it with others who are walking the process and understand process.

So my understanding is that I feared to go there, and I feared to use that sound, and become that sound. So I suppressed it. And when I did access that type of sound/stance, it was like me correcting the point, and I notice how my mind and myself responded to it.
And so similarly I feared hearing that sound or facing someone standing with that sound (as a reaction or expression).

I accessed that sound without actually yelling outloud, as a point of basically Standing in saying Stop to my mind/reactions/fear that I had. It just came about in this moment as I was trying to really stand in my application/movement.

So now, if someone were to access that sound, I won't react with inferiority and back down, because now I can stand equal to them, I too can access that sound, but I don't require accessing it to stand equal, I do embrace them, and where they are at. So I stand equal to them. And I stand equal to that sound/signature. And for most people they will be accessing it out of a reaction, so I stand there to assist and support them, as well as myself.

Monday, October 21, 2019

Day 763 An Imagination of Being Stabbed in the Back

There's a lot that I have been walking in my mind that is complex/complicated to share in a way that it will be understood without being judge or misunderstood. But I will in this blog share what I can while focusing more on the principle of the points, and so trying to avoid confusion or judgment from people because then it would prevent the readers/people from assimilating the message/lesson.

There is a technique employed that involves me visualizing a person who I know I have a reaction to. So I visualize them and I try to see them as me as one and equal in that my imagination naturally turned to the point of hugging them. So here I am observing my own mind, and my own reactions and I am utilizing what I am seeing as a way to inform me of the reactions so I can align the points. I will know if I am understanding the misalignment if I can finally realign the point. So in the imagination they would be stabbing me in the back as I would try to hug them. So my first step here was to simply embrace and let go, meaning really allow the point to play out in imagination without getting attached to the imagination or reacting to it internally which would be running away from it, or blocking it out, or trying to look away from imagination. So here its like I enter into a space of questioning and pondering. How and why did this person do this? Why am I seeing this? How come I cannot just see the point of us standing as one and equal in all dimensions here?

So naturally the point arose that I would look at it from their perspective, so I imagined I was looking through their eyes as they were stabbing me in the back as I tried to hug them and then I saw how I looked. How I looked was someone gentle and kind and someone that is good for them and supportive for them, as I approached them to give them a hug. And so some lightbulbs went off and things started to click. So for me Judas from the Bible came up, simply because its a point of betrayal that seemed quite illogical, and quite extreme. Like literally sending someone to death, someone who really doesn't deserve it at all. And for me I can understand my reaction/judgment of Judas or a Judas like figure or person. Someone who you have invited to your home, someone who you considered to be part of your inner circle, someone you consider truthworthy, and then they betray you to the extreme.

So suffice to say, forgiving this person is part of what is best for all. What this means is that we must stand in all dimensions and all shoes and understand a person and understand that they are reacting. Lets say that Judas type figures don't Really understand or know fully that they are within a program, reacting and that there is a better way, and not only that but that they are missing out on Living and on real Life and Real Expression. If they truly understand the point of Expression and what that is to offer with coming together as life, as people, as existence, then they wouldn't have betrayed or reacting so aggressively/violently etc... So its to understand and forgive them, and forgive ourselves for our own reactions.

Here: Judas type betrayal can take many forms: someone cheating on you, someone trying to murder you, someone trying to get you fired, someone trying to hurt you or your family, etc... there are many forms. And I know that they are Extreme. Would it be funny to say that it would require a Jesus type level of forgiveness/understanding to really forgive such people/things that they have done? I do think its bullshit to ask God to forgive you or to ask Jesus. But the message of forgiving others directly, like how it is here, that is cool, and obviously challenging and something Transcendental even.

"Forgive them for they know not what they do"

Those who do self-forgiveness are a step ahead of those who only forgive others. Its more challenging- but its more self-honest and more rewarding. Though forgiveness is part of self-forgiveness, naturally so it encompasses it. You can't be claiming you are willing to forgive yourself, but not willing to forgive others. It goes hand in hand.

So back to me here, so in my imagination within understanding this point now, the imagination became like the person starting to stop stabbing me, and going slow. And so this signaled to me that I got the point, and it is simultaneously me FEELING my being as my understanding that we are one and equal and that they were simply reacting and that I can forgive them and I can forgive myself for feeling anger/blame etc... and that that is there process and I am here to support them how I can, because we are equal and one as Life, as part of Existence, as part of this Life.

So with that point it became clear. That is the gist of it. If it seems unclear or strange what I was doing, well that is okay. For me this is something I intuitively do and I know to do. I trust it because of the oneness and equality point, meaning that Everything I do in Existence is for what is best for all and oneness and equality, and as long as that is my starting point when I am doing something then I can trust the result to reflect who I am with that. So I don't worry about the details or anything unknown, I just apply the points, and I am open to learning and realigning through understanding and changing who I am in what I speak, say, share, write, see etc... So being an open student to life, open to learning and realigning. Because all parts of existence is me, including the parts of me and my mind. And Life will always prevail/remain here.

One last note on it clicking- a person is not seeing/understanding what it is that they are really doing, they are reacting. 

And its worth trying to use the imagination of bringing someone here who you are reacting to and see if you can embrace them as one and equal. It does require self-honesty so your result will be equal to your self-honesty.

Thursday, October 17, 2019

Day 762 Actual Horcruxes

I have found within me a point of placing parts of myself, my expression, my visions, my living words, simply parts of myself within People and Objects in my Life. So it sounds similar to the Horcruxes that Voldemort used in Harry Potter. And I suspect that unconsciously that point was picked up and written in that story because it reflects something real. I suspect that this is something we all do.

So what this means is that parts of myself is defined within the relationship to that person/object. For example lets say the willingness/eagerness to socialize with people and communicate/share is defined within one person in my life. So I have all these various parts of myself that is defined within people and objects in my life and what that means is that if something happens to that person/object than it can feel like I lost something, like I lost a part of myself. Have you ever seen yourself go through such a thing or seen others go through such things? It seems to me to be something fairly common. We all do this, no?

To investigate the point in your context/life- look at pets you have had, people you have loved, family members, past relationships or current relationships etc... When people leave, die or change there is something happens/changes within you, its like you lost something. Why is that?

From the perspective of what is best for all, this is indeed a limitation, because why not simply define the point within yourself, and you being the anchor/point of the words/expressions/living? At the same time, it is understood from the grand scheme of things that we are walking a process through time, and that we are within the point, and there is no yanking out of it or simply pulling out the plug all at once. That doesn't work. In fact, I think this is what I have been going through myself.

I am explaining to myself that my experience these pasts months is due to having my relationships, my expected relationships with people being cut off, and so my points that is defined within them being inaccessible to me, where I can't find or see my expressions. Indeed I very much defined myself and parts of myself within the relationships with people and things around me, and with everything changing so quickly, I didn't have the time to adjust, let go, to find a new anchor point.

What I am describing just now is what I am observing and proposing that we all are doing as humans. When someone dies or somehow your life changes, you need time to readjust, time to let go, time to mourn, time to find a new person, a new object, a new anchor for your expressions, even if that may be simply really processing what happened in your memory and remembering your expressions within that. So there's an extraction and remembrance process. So this is a description of how things normally work under supportive conditions. But conditions aren't always supportive.

So within this same proposal and conditions: when people are yanked out of their lives and things/people/objects all change around them, they are like floating, they literally forget themselves, and forget where they came from, they don't have an anchor. Here you can think of people forced to relocate, people losing their entire family, people being sent away to somewhere completely unknown.

So from a certain perspective its okay to have anchors/relationships and create such points for you where you do experience/live words as expression of yourself, even though that is not the absolute point yet of what is best for all, and is still within limitation, because it does take time to change. At the same time, its important to continue walking your process everyday to change. If you don't apply yourself everyday then you are wasting away. So the answer is both you could say. If you have been yanked out and feel lost, and like you lost yourself, find/create anchor points for you again- it can be objects, it can be things like music, it can be memories- and it may involve going into your memories and extracting the points. You may or may not have people who you can confide in or rely on. But its not ONLY limited to people. Remind yourself that process is walked for real through individual, small moments, and through constant participation in the change- you won't change overnight- so don't judge yourself, don't judge your habits, addictions, where you are at. There are words/expressions that are locked away. It will take time to align them and anchor them to yourself.

And that process of you being the anchor of words/expressions is walked daily, is walked in the physical, and its practically done. It is walked in breath. And in my case I notice it is like a battle, meaning it is a tug of war- where I am finding myself thrust into complete points of energy and separation even with living certain words/expressions effectively, and I have to pull myself out of the energy, forgive and live physically again. Its an aggressive and combative, and challenging process. It requires getting pumped (physically), and motivated (physically), and pushing/bringing through the points (physically)- notice here how easily these words can be hijacked by ENERGY and be non-physical instead of physically. But that is the challenge, that is the war, that is the point of Who are you? Energy or Physical? Are you Life or not? And that is what we are all faced with, those who are walking the point of becoming what is best for all. 





Tuesday, October 15, 2019

Day 761 I Declare a War on All Feelings

I know, war is an extreme. 

I have made the decision that its necessary to declare a war on feelings. This includes all feelings, including intuition, happiness, love, joy, excitement etc... Anything that involves your feelings about something or someone. Feeling like someone is bad or good, or someone is untrustworthy. Any kind of feeling that involves translating that feeling into a belief.

So that means when I see someone who looks homeless, that I don't judge them as homeless and I don't make a feeling about them, or accept and allow a feeling about them for example. This includes when I see someone that looks Beautiful, that I don't see them as beautiful, or as trustworthy or good, or bad, or bitchy, or whatever. I don't think or feel anything about them, or anyone. Instead what I do is see directly here in real time what is going on, and who people are, and whats happening actually. 

It is necessary to confront all feelings, because how else will expressions emerge? How else will we learn to live words for real? Live love for real? Live joy and excitement for real as expression of ourselves? We need to confront and stop the feelings so that we come face to face with the truth of who we are and what we are doing: We have been living as Energy Addicts acting out with complete disregard to what is best for all, and oneness and equality.

The proof of what I am saying is here: how do you treat/respond to the message of oneness and equality and what is best for all? Do go against it? Do you support it? Do you speak it yourself? That is clear evidence enough, because what is best for all threatens your very existence as Mind and Ego. Because you as mind and ego simply wants to exists within energies and feelings, even if your life is shitty, even if you are in the deep end and just struggling: you will defend and fight for your limitation, instead of standing for what is best for all as all as one and equal. That is evidence/test for every person to know who you are. 

Feelings must end, and Expressions must reign. So I declare this war, so that let it be known that Feelings as energy can no longer be accepted and allowed to exist within and without. The way forward is aligning with your physical body and expressing one and equal as it: as all the expressions: the excitement, the love, the joy, the dance, the singing- expressions will reign and that is the fate/destiny of the universe. 

Note: I used the word war here as a joke. Meaning I am not actually hiring a private army to wage war, or using military grade tactics/training etc... At the same time I use it to make it clear the necessity of the message here. The only way forward is stopping energy/feelings/emotions in all their forms: and for expressions to take their place. To learn more of the actual process and how-to check out www.desteni.org

Monday, October 14, 2019

Day 760 Consequence

Standing for a world that is best for all. The odd thing about the Human Mind is that even directly saying exactly the words of who you are, where you stand and what you are committed to: "I Stand for a world that is best for all" or "I am committed to bring about a world that is best for all" that the Mind will want to find some way to go against it. The mind will create ideas such as Fake News, or a Liar, or that its "just words." This is how the haters and abusers found ways to bring down Desteni with their words: to attack the message of what is best for all.

There is no other group existing on planet earth that I have heard of or seen that stands completely within the message of What is best for all as all as one and equal. None. And this is the message of Life and Existence, and this is forms the very fabric of Existence, and of the Entirety of our relationships, experiences and consequences. All of the consequences that have been manifesting, that have manifested and will manifest are all the result of the misalignment with this point: which is the heart/core of Reality/Existence: that all are one and equal: no matter the shape, form, history or else. This is how reality functions and moves. And this is how separation is manifested. Separation itself is moving Within oneness and equality- it is encapsulated itself by the law of universe- That is why you can NEVER escape consequence even though it takes time to manifest.

You must surely know that you will pay the price in some form or another that is due to your apparent free choice to live, act and speak in separation from your body, the bodies of others, from your very words, from your daily life, and the lives of others, and from existence as a whole. There is always that point of consequence. And that consequence is meant to serve you, to help you realize. Because if it were as simple as Me TELLING YOU here and now that you need to stand up and take responsibility for yourself and live in alignment with life, with all of reality as all as one and equal, then you would have done it and reality would have been sorted. It doesn't work that way. You have your choice, but you are not FREE from consequence.

So here is how you help yourself realize, and how life supports you to realize the NEED/REQUIREMENT for you to stand as all as one and equal: through Consequence. The Consequence can be as severe as you can imagine, and probably more severe than what you can imagine. When consequence does coming knocking on your door: embrace it, say thank you Life, and I understand now- there is no free choice, except the free choice to always choose what is best for all. And to gain that free choice to choose what is best for all requires you to walk your process, so that you walk out of your mind and into the physical.

What is interesting about the attackers/abusers of the desteni message, that resist it: is that they make it personal. They focus on the people, and find ways to attack the people, and make it in their minds something personal. "Look at the THEM," "Look at THESE PEOPLE/persons," "look at what they DID TO ME, look at what they said to me!" "they are wrong/bad etc..." The mind tries to distract by making it personal, so that it can attempt to bring down the Message. The message is the same and it stands. Oneness and Equality stands as the only point that we can align with that is best for all, and vice versa. Existence cannot exist within peace/harmony in any other way. What is best for all is what is best for all. When we try to make things PERSONAL, when we assign personalities, or ideas of People as leadership that are defining the message, or are somehow responsible for the message- CAREFUL that is the mind trying hijack the message.

The Message of Life and of Desteni stands regardless of any people involved or whatever said or done. This is the point that is best for all, and this is how life can flourish and be Nurtured. If you find you are making things PERSONAL and dependent on some people- meaning you are REACTING to some people and defining What is best for ALL, and your responsibility according to what you are reacting to- well, need I say more?

You will always be responsible for yourself, for your mind, and for doing self-forgiveness, taking self-responsibility, and making corrections, and STANDING and SPEAKING and LIVING the point yourself. Nothing and no one will ever change that ever. The Desteni message is not Personal, it applies to all equally. Because we are in fact equal creators of this reality- all of us. The realm of the mind and separation which is where we have been existing as humanity for eons is one based on disempowerment/power, poverty/wealth,  that haves and the have nots. That is where you exists as with the mind. If you live in Physical Reality, HERE, standing within and as Physical Reality, you see your power and responsibility, which is the same and equal to as to any other person or living thing is existence.

The only Fake News you have to watch out for is your Very Mind- Every single thought your mind produces and brings forth for you to Hear and Watch. Its not your deliberate and exact creation down through your precision, attention and focus. It is a stream of information that you are receiving and reacting to in turn. Your Reaction with your Body and your emotions/Feelings and your thoughts- You can stop them. All of us can do that- try with all your will and you can. And if you can then that means you are responsible for everything you do, and all the effects of it. You are able to take responsibility and become Life, become what is best for all, and align with all as one and equal within all that you say, and all that you do. And if you don't, you will pay the consequence- which is your teacher. No one escapes this: not the wealthy or poor, not the good or bad- no one. The word good has been hijacked to support further separation. As it refers to "Good Enough" while allowing extensive abuses. You are either standing within what is best for all or you are not. You are either in alignment with your body and with all as one and equal or you are NOT. And you will see it.

Note: The Self-Forgiveness Below is spoken within the starting point as what is best for all as an example/support for others reading this blog. I have walked a process individually that has covered/faced these points individually in various forms throughout the years. So I write this to give support for others so that they may receive support from self-forgiveness until they are ready to write and do their own, within what is best for all: 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that my mind is trustworthy and good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am good or that I am good person, and that is good enough for me to live without guilt or shame: the life I am living as has done by the people who came before me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I can escape consequences because I believe that my mind and thoughts have no effect on reality and I can keep them secret.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try to make the message of what is best for all, something personal that I make determined other people's words/actions and attempt to use that as an excuse to not walk my process, to not stop my mind, and not align with what is best for all- not realizing that I am creating for myself consequences to face in this life and at death.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I have the free choice to choose what is NOT best for all, and that I will not have to face any consequence/repercussion from reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see how I am in fact evil incarnate if I will happily seek a way to avoid taking action and taking responsibility if I can find a way to not be held accountable.

Saturday, October 12, 2019

Day 759 Becoming my Own Living Word

Bernard was a living word. His words, what he spoke, what he said: it was living; it was alive; it was life.

I need to become my own living word. Meaning that I need to speak and say and live in such a way that my words are alive, are life; reflect that I am alive living one and equal with this existence, with this body, with this self, with everyone.

While reading Bernards words are supportive: it comes a time when you simply must become the living word yourself: and that means speaking and writing in such a way where you are not THINKING at all, where it just FLOWS, and it just POURS out out of you and it is within the starting point of Life, of Oneness and Equality with Existence, standing in the shoes of every person in existence, and so reflecting what is best for all for every person. It is speaking with the authority that what you are saying IS what is best for all, IS what is best for existence, such that if you were on a podium and the entire existence was watching you and listening to you: that those words you speak is equal to what is best for all, without flaw, without fault, without hesitation, without compromise, or succumbing to reactions in anyway whatsoever.

This way of speaking and living is the Destiny of existence for each being/person. That is who we all must be and become. We must be and become the Living Word: which is as I said above: always speak and live what is best for all so that everything you say is within that alignment/starting point, and you speak with that authority. So YES you have the Audacity to say such things. You have the Audacity to say what is best for all in the face of every/any person of existence. You have the total and complete disregard of anyone's disapproval for you standing by and saying what is best for all, with the authority that it IS what is best for all, because you know that anyone who stands Against you is NOT standing with what is best for all. You KNOW that anyone who stands with what is best for all, and who disagrees with you, will in turn: speak and share with their authority on what is best for all, but it is without conflict or aggression or emotion: it is with the commitment to what is best for all: and you recognize and see that: because it is NOT questioned whatsoever that what SHOULD be done, SAID, and LIVED is what is best for all always and that is guiding principle of every single word ever SPOKEN, WRITTEN, and expressed/brought forth into existence.

Every single word reflects YOU, reflects WHO YOU ARE. You cannot deny that. So when you already speak/write you are defining who you are with your very words: You are Literally writing in the book of who You ARE when you write: you literally write the words in the chapter that is who you are now, and what you are becoming/living.

It is this one point that all must pass the test and all must walk it. Because it is very easy to pretend for a while: but to live for Eternity and to Live as your words for all of time into Forever: that is proof. That everything you SAY publicly or privately is spoken as what is best for all, that every advice you give is spoken as what is best for all, that no matter the context, no matter the situation, you never STOP living and Expressing as LIFE, as the Living word. Too Few realize this point. Too Few disregard the importance of speaking and living this point. To do Blogs and Vlogs as one example where what you say/live IS WHAT IS BEST FOR ALL- and standing with that authority/responsibility. At the same time: what you write in cyber space, in Facebook- the same point. What you write in group chats- the same point. What you write/say in you personal Life- the same point. You see how many opportunities do you have to speak/live as what is best for all? Do you see your responsibility to also be Quiet/Silent when you KNOW what you want to SAY is not best for all. Be CAREFUL of what you SAY.

BE Careful Indeed. Have Care with what you say. Does your words reflect Actual Real Care for All of Life, for all of this existence as equal and as One- or are you just acting out with your Ego, with your mind, with your personality, and with your self-interest? Speak in the Name of Life, of this Existence! And hold your tongue when you cannot do it now, when you are in reaction, when you are possessed. Practice with your Blogs and Vlogs. Practice the Living Word as what is best for all, as standing in the SHOES of existence.

Practice speaking as if you stand within the point of view of every single person, and every single point in existence. Speak from that Perspective. Yes you Can. And yes have the Audacity to say you can and then DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is the destiny/responsibility of those who are becoming the point- equal and one to this existence, equal and one to life. You have the obligation to do this: if you are committed to Life, to yourself as who you really are as all as one and equal. Live in the Presence of every single word and you also won't make any typos.

For those who are New to this Process of Life, of amalgamating with the Physical, of becoming/living with and as this existence one and equal: start with Self-forgiveness- walk the process of understanding the trap of the mind- understand your responsibility and your power to change and become the directive principle of every single word/movement within you and as you. It takes a minimum of 7 years. www.desteni.org

Bernard's blog for reference: http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/04/day-1-self-forgiveness.html 

Sunday, October 6, 2019

Day 758 I stand for Life

What is the one thing I fear? What is one place I am not willing to go to?

Standing in correcting/directing others. Standing as who I am in opposition.

My heart/connection to existence is needed. I am a part of this existence, I am worth defending/protecting/enhancing/safeguarding. I have equal value to this entire existence. I stand with and as everyone/everything.

I have value just for existing.

I am equal to this entire existence.

I deserve care, respect, regard and consideration.

I am worthy.

I give myself all of these things, all of these words, and I expect to receive them from others.

Anyone who is not aligned with these words are misaligned and are detracting from themselves and others.

Life is here, Life is exist, we are equal and one with and as Life.

I give that value to everyone. I support an Equal Money System. I support a Freedom Dividend, I support anyone and all support to everyone/existence.

Simply for existing I have value. I don't have to have done anything or do anything, or be anything in particular or achieve particular things- simply for existing I have value as Life. My obligation is to Life, I live for life. My obligation is to live my highest expression/self, in other words my potential self. My obligation is to life/give that equal and one value of Life to and as all/everyone, and to live that in my actions, and decisions, and who I am within speaking words.

I deserve all that any part of Life deserves, and I work to give that to myself and others.

I stand in opposition and defiance to all those who oppose me and disagree with me.

I stand for Life. 

Thursday, October 3, 2019

Day 757 All Memory, All Knowledge, All Imagination, All Intellectualism Gone

I have been having an issue where its like my memory is gone. I don't see myself being sick/ill. This feels more like a Lose of Self. So, in this Video: Revenge of the Ego by Bernard Poolman, I remember him saying that at times we will find ourselves losing Faith in ourselves. And this describes what I feel, so I decided to listen to the recording today.

So the recording is fairly long and it covers a fair amount of dimensions/topics. The point that stuck out to me was how the mind is vastly superior with its access to the Knowledge, Intellectualism, such as facts, or memory - or Memory. It has access to all of that information, and everything I have every done in the past, and everything I ever felt/thought and all of my reactions to everything ever. So it knows all of this. And I don't have that same level of access.

But, Bernard said the one point that the mind fails is in with Breath- this will disrupt the mind- in Breath the mind cannot do anything. So if I try to Think my way out of my current situation/problem, if I try to find some Fact, or some realization, or some piece of knowledge, or understanding as information: I will fail because the mind is superior to using this information and thought: it will find a way to twist the words and the knowledge/facts for its Favor. But if I use breath and I make the statement/commitment of disowning my memory, I disown knowledge/intellectualism- and I decide to become a being of breath- and then I do it now in real time- I exist in breath- And I don't care and I am not affect by my memory or my memory loss or my thoughts- If I do this- the mind cannot touch me. I am free.

I know who I am and I am doing what is best for all and I will do it within Breath- without the knowledge/memory/past/information justifying it or using it as a support for what is best for all. I trust that the Words and the living word will be here naturally as myself as I live within and as Breath. I don't rely on the right words, the right knowledge, the right sentence, the right way of thinking or expressing. I rely on breath and I live as who I am: I am what is best for all: and this is all I live and all I apply: I live here real time as the living word.

The mind cannot touch me as I live within Breath.

I find I am free- and I can see how I was using knowledge and failing/falling. I can see how I would react within the knowledge/realizations/statements- how I tried existing within that point and somehow the mind will twist things and get the upper hand. And the reason why is as Bernard said: it is superior, the mind has all the access to the knowledge, to my memory to my past, so it knows what it needs to do, what to bring out, what to say or make happen to get you to react and bring you to your knees so that you give up. But in breath I have the upper hand, I have the directive principle- and this makes sense and all that is needed. Life is NOT knowledge; life is living HERE in real time, as application within breath.

So this is my application and I am finding it effective- I felt the drop of the pressure from trying to solve my memory problem- I embrace living in real time- I am a real time being- and I speak/do what is best for all- and I know that I will always know what is best for all in ANY moment I am in. So that's what I am applying/living. Breath.