Yogan's Journey to Life

Where am I afraid to go? What door? I am afraid of being with people who are attempting to manipulate and control my actions and behaviors through manipulating my environment, by withholding certain things from me. I am afraid of being in a situation where someone is trying to keep things away from me, that take things away from me. I am afraid of being in a situation where things around me are being moved without my decision, and so there is chaos and unpredictability. I am afraid of being treated in a way where it’s purpose is manipulating my behaviors, and how I feel in order to make me afraid/compliant. I am afraid of being told I am responsible for someone else’s feelings, where I will be punished and held accountable if I don’t ensure I make someone else feel good. I am afraid of being chastised and reprimanded. I am afraid of someone taking actions to change my physical reality/space in order to punish me or control me. When I ...

Standing in everyone's shoes would necessitate that all fear and anger end. Because how can you be angry at yourself? Or how can you possibly fear yourself? Doing so would be absurd. The statement: I stand as all as one and equal, is specific. Imagine a person saying that they stand as everyone: All the people across the world, all the people you know or have heard of or encountered and of all the countries, and places, and parts in the world. To stand absolutely with all that exists: there can only be one meaning or one interpretation. Standing as everyone challenges your own point of separation: it challenges your anger, and your fear and your judgment and blame. Because you will resist standing as someone who you judge, blame, fear, or feel anger which you direct at them. Standing as everyone would support peace, harmony, and simply being supportive, constructive, present, warm, and gracious. I am working with Fear and Anger when it comes to what I see on the News an...

So directing another person. I have been figuring this one out: trying to direct another person. Bernard said in a very short chat long ago how a partner has to direct the agreement. Does this mean directing the other person? I don’t know. Maybe he said a partner has to direct the other. Anyway. The point here is no matter what Bernard may have meant or said, I am deciding here and now to not direct another, whether it be an agreement partner or any person really. Especially though in an agreement. I have decided that even in an agreement to not direct the other person. This is a big deal for me, to decide this. I am going to let each person walk their process. Those who have the tools, have the tools, those who don’t have the tools, then if they are ready I will share the tools. More importantly though in an agreement where you are spending such a life time with a person, to not direct the other person. I know its tempting, that is what I believed at least partly believed....

yesterdays blog: https://yoganjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2019/01/day-685-reacting-in-worthlessness.html Continuing with yesterday's point on Worthlessness in me while looking at how it relates to being Comforted. So as a child growing up in worthlessness, I didn't seek to change the worthlessness directly, because I didn't know how, I didn't have the tools that I have now that I learned from Desteni ( www.desteni.org www.lite.desteniiprocess.com ). So what gave me a momentary pause or distraction from feeling worthless was feeling comforted, and being comforted. Now looking at how this developed over the years its interesting. I remember some of the first crushes I had on women, when I was like 9 years old, that it was with girls in my class who were nice to me, and paid attention to me, who seemed like nice people. So I was being comforted in that moment. And it was very specific, like the smile of the person, making feel that I was being accepted and welcomed. ...

This phrase makes you seem crazy, no mind, no emotion, no feeling. When you say it seriously and someone hears you, they want to say how you need feelings, that you need Love. What about Love? Before going there, first of all is it even possible to not have your mind? to not think? to not feel any emotion or feeling? Is it possible. Well, you may need to clarify what each thing means, but in a certain sense and definition, yes definitely. So perhaps an example will best illustrate the usefullness of stopping the mind, thought, emotion and feeling. Note that Feeling refers to positive like happy, and emotions refer to negative like sad, anger fear. So the example is this. You read an article. During the article you feel various feelings and emotions. Now you need to form an opinion about what you think the article says. Now what normally happens is that a person forms their opinion informed by their emotions and feelings. So both the good and bad. What is interesting is that WORDING...

"Only slaves exist within pain and suffering, because they believe themselves to be ‘victim to’ some form of power greater than themselves – and have no resolve to stand up independently, but merely accept and allow the continuation of accepted and allowed pain and suffering." http://desteni.org/desteni-material/blog/marilyn-monroe-human-design-menstruation   I am standing up independently. I am learning to apply independence as a LIVING word. I am not trying to live independence through something external, which means I am not trying to find independence through how much money I have, my status, my popularity, being outside of the family home, or anything else that is external. I am learning to live independence as a LIVING word, which means inside my self, my presence, in relationship with myself, how I move, live, and speak. Independence as a living word has nothing to do with what others say, think of me, comment of me, or how they compare themselves to me. What...

Let's talk about the Real Evil in this reality. Today I saw how I automatically started speaking in a SAD WAY, even though I didn't feel sad. I spoke this way automatically because I needed to tell someone something and I didn't know how to, and if I spoke this way it would make it easier for them to hear me. Because when I speak in a sad way I manipulate the person. They can't feel angry at me. Cause I am sad, and that brings out emotions in them. I have faced people speaking in a sad way to me and that caused reactions in me. So this is PROOF that we manipulate people automatically, unconsciously. Was I aware that I was doing it? Only when I saw in the moment that yes I was speaking sad, and no I did not feel sad. I did not make a decision to now speak sad. It happened automatically. So theoretically I can see how we all as humanity are like this. We are all manipulating all the time without really being aware of it. Afterwards I had a good feeling. I felt good ...

Confidence is a word I used in my last blog and I want to expand on it. Here is an example of the context:  When someone you know tells you very confidently that things are really bad and there is no way you can succeed in something. Now, I am saying it like how they say it: "Look there is NO WAY that you can do this, its impossible!!!  This is just how the world works."  What do you feel in such moments in hearing such statements? For me, there is a reaction, I feel something. I feel they are right. I want to give in, and I want them to be right. Here is the context I am referring when we speak in Confidence. Now we say we, but is it us? The mind is primary force in the world. So when people speak in confidence it can be used to manipulate other people. To Fight for your point of view. The same when we speak in anger in order to get someone to agree with us. Anger is a little bit different. For example: "If you don't do this right now, I am never going to be...

This blog post will be about Manipulation and what I have uncovered/discovered through Me. So I found that there are two main types of Manipulation. There might be more, but right now this is what I have found.  I am defining Manipulation here as using an Expression and/or Emotion/Feeling to get someone Else to do something, believe in something, etc... Based on what I observed each person will be familiar in using in one Polarity type of manipulation. This is what I observed of myself, as well as the adults and children I have known. There is the Happiness/Sadness Manipulation, and the Anger/Nice Manipulation. These are the two types. You will most clearly see this form of manipulation in children, because of their lack of experience. Adults start to evolve these Manipulations into these more sophisticated types: Love/Depression Manipulation and the Confident/Gentle Manipulation. So these are evolutions of the Happiness/Sadness Manipulation and the Anger/Nice Manipul...

I am going to be writing about something that has been haunting me for years. It is my first relationship. It will be about the abuse, the lies, and the deception I faced. It will be about how I didn't call out the abuse, the lies or deception, and how I didn't stand up for myself. It will be about how I will learn, change and be better for me. Writing this out here is how I start to change into being better for me. So, my first relationship was with a girl I met in college. I had spoken with her a few times. We hanged out. She had told me that she had broken up with boyfriend. However, this was a lie. I am someone that would never date someone or do anything with someone who was still with someone else.  After we had our first kiss she had then called to break up with her boyfriend, who was in her home town. I only found this out later when she had went back to her hometown for break and had kissed her ex-boyfriend. She was deciding who she wanted to be with. What I should...

J'en ai des frissons... Posted by Jeremy Demay on Saturday, May 17, 2014 So in the above video, I am observing a very interesting point that I myself participated in. That is, believing that children are merely inputting and outputting everything we tell them, and that we are shaping them. So here I am questioning this point, because this is a very common belief, where all of our parenting guides and school systems are using this belief to teach and shape the children into what it is that is right, good or best. Now, having spent time with children who specifically have the freedom to explore themselves and their world, I am having a different point of view that is quite obvious actually. So with starting with the obvious, there have been many people that have grown up in abusive home environments, some that I know personally. These people all learned from their home environments and abusive parents, to not be like their parents, and to be different. This meant, n...

So when I had a little time today, I decided to sit down and watch tv. Now the first channel that was on was Nickelodeon, and it was the middle of the day, so the programming that was on was a child's tv show. Now it is interesting that we call television shows, tv programming... Do you see? You are being programmed? So I hated what I saw on tv, and especially what I heard. But this is only because I know better now, however, growing up watching tv, I would watch these types of shows daily hours on end. For some reason I was attracted to this television programming designed for kids. Why? I didn't know. And yet, know as an adult, I can reference the same experience. It still has an effect on me, except now I know better. The main thing I hate about these shows is how it doesn't depict REALITY at all. The way the people act, how they act, how they treat each other, is very obviously insincere and fake, which you can even hear it in the voice. But if you don't have expe...

https://eqafe.com/p/the-consciousness-of-the-turtle-part-1 So I had mentioned in the last blog I wrote, how I was applying a lesson that the above shown interview had. Now, this is within the meditation type realm. For those who meditate, this interview helps clarify something significant. So for me, I had still believed and  at some times thought that to be unaware or to be oblivious to the body was a good sign, meaning that you are so still and silent that the body feels like a blank slate with nothing moving. However, this couldn't be farther from the truth. As the interview points out, that this is actually you entering into a specific place in your mind, where you become unaware of your body, through a suppression of those experiences. The experience of being in the body, as I have been showing myself is a constant movement, where it feels like the legs are resonating, and moving, and circulating. And that is constant. And yes it does change, so even how it is resonating, ...

Previous posts My relationship to myself. Origin Story Part 1 My relationship to myself. Origin Story part 1 My relationship to myself. Origin Story Part 1 My relationship to myself. Origin Story Part 1 My relationship to myself. Origin Story Part 1 My relationship to myself. Origin Story Part 1 So like I have shared in my previous post, I am walking a pretty massive point, and I have decided to take it each individual point that makes up the massive collection point, one by one. So yesterday we looked at something very specific that I saw myself participating within it. I will share today what I have done since then which has been to apply the corrective change. So the main point that I opened up yesterday was that I was brainwashed on how to think, how to act, etc... so the correction is to decide, to direct. So that is what I have applying. Now I know it sounds simply to just say the words, decide or direct. So to describe in a little more detail the challenge th...

Manipulation What everyone does, but no one wants to admit to, and feels insulted if someone did it them.  So I'm going to use my family as an example. I can't speak for the world, and the 7 billions humans on this planet, and whether they have manipulated or not, but I can certainly speak for myself. So I certainly, definitely, absolutely, positively have manipulated people and situations a many a time. I have manipulated others views/perspective/opinion/belief about other people, involving lying to do so. I have spoken to someone in a conversation in an attempt to change their view of themselves, into one that is harmful, destructive and inferior. I have in a way destroyed lives, to get what I wanted, which is to be the one on top, the last one standing. And I know we all do it. How? Well, let's keep that a secret between you and me.  So why am I talking about this topic? Well, let's just say its quite pertinent right now. And its also not something I ever ...