Yogan's Journey to Life

Have you observed that with just the words THOUGHT, EMOTION and FEELING, (where emotions are the negative energy you feel and feelings are the positive version) constitutes most if not all of the human experience. Look how in your mind that in ANY given moment you are either having a Thought, an emotion or a feeling. Besides that the other option would be to have you awareness be placed within the body, such as in Breathing. Now, breathing fucks with the Mind. Because while you are breathing purposefully there is no space for your awareness to entertain a Thought.. So Breathing Fucks with the mind because no Energy is created. This is why the Physical is Key. But look how with these three words thoughts, emotions and feelings, you already describe any given moment of you life, past or present. So bringing your awareness and attention to THIS moment always you can STOP the thought, emotion and feelings and radically change yourself. ANYONE can do this. If you can prove to yourself t...

There are many ways to be creative, not just with art, music or dance. Though this blog for today is dedicated to just those areas of creativity. Leaping into the air and dancing like you just don't care! Feeling your body as it moves, the wind, the air, the breathing, the rhythm, the sound of the music or the sound of the room. Taking something that didn't exist before and bringing it into creation. It can be WORDS that were never written or expressed before! The jolly Giraffe soared on roller blades under pink flamingo skies! Art is just that! Creating forms and shapes that never existed before. It is a part of you that is expressed into something new. Music! Creating a sound a moment that is an extension of yourself into the environment around you! Playing a piece of music spontaneously freestyle where you lose track whether you are creating the music and rather the music is creating itself and you just have the honor of bearing witness to it. Doing something, expres...

Now, before I talk about Masculinity, I want to say first that in the grand scheme of things, on a very deep level there is no distinction between masculine and feminine, it doesn't exist. That being said, working on it on the everyday level is what is practical and using these words have their value, but by no means is man or a woman, or any person limited from LIVING these WORDS or EXPRESSIONS no matter what their body is. So lets get started. The strength of the Masculinity is something I have been living and applying thanks to a physical labor job I have had. Now, before starting the job, I already had the attitude, though my living and practice expanded within the job. Essentially it is pushing past all excuses, and all pain. Its about getting the job done. Its using your muscles. And I can see the difference between people who have it and who don't. The phrase,  "never worked a day in their life" applies here. Because people who aren't living as the mascul...

So this blog is inspired by the both the processes that others are walking and the process I have been walking. Its all under the umbrella of Desteni, the desteni process. Here are various links to the various websites that all cover various dimensions of this Process of becoming Self-aware as the physical, taking self-responsibility for oneself, one's mind, one's thoughts, emotions and feelings, and which collectively changes this world. www.desteni.org www.eqafe.org Mind Body Innverse Youtube Channel with Sunette  www.desteniiprocess.com www.destonians.com And many more groups on Facebook, Youtube Channels, and the Individual blogs from desteni members like mine that your reading right now! There is also the desteni forum where you can ask questions! www.forum.desteni.org So for today's blog I'm going to be ASSUMING something. I'm going to assume that you can CHECK and SEE your INNERVERSE, your inner self, your inner reality at any time! I'm going to ...

I had the chance to open up intimacy as an expression within myself, and something interesting opened up within that. So I had recognized that what I was experience was Intimacy and I had a question about what is this? So I decided to look inside myself and check. As a TIP, when I look inside myself if I have trouble what I can do to help me is to tilt my head down with the intention of kind of like looking inside me. So in this moment I saw that I felt good in my torso area and i felt pain in my arms and legs. It took me a little bit of time to double check and keep rechecking because it was rather strange to see how I felt something negative as pain in my arms and legs as energy, and I felt good in my torso, starting from where my legs and arms end meeting the body. So the torso includes the waste, chest area, head too. The Intimacy experience in my torso didn't fluctuate as energy so much, whether it actually was or wasn't didn't matter in the moment, because I could cle...

Based on my preliminary calculations, the most of the money I spend goes to where I live, the house/apartment, food and then transportation. Where other minor expenses goes to things like cell-phone, parking, gas. Otherwise if I get a higher paying job, like twice the amount I make, and I live with the same expenses, everything else I make will be profit, will be unhindered by my living expenses. I make about 25,000 $ a year before taxes. And each month I have about 500$ That I have after my living expenses. In a year that is $6000. . So If I make 30,000 a year that will be 11,000 $ profit in a year. And if I make 50,000 that is 31,000$ in a year. If I rented my own apartment that live by myself that will cost at least 500 $ more a month. That will make living expenses to 25,000 $. Though if I have roommates and rent rooms that will be back down to what it was before. If I were to crash my car and wreak it that will set me back by 9000$ at least. If I get some sickness/disease that c...

The Desteni article on the Heart mentioned. http://desteni.org/desteni-material/blog/organic-robot-part-one-section-two

Its ike I fel guilty to ask for what I want. Traumatized. Scared, Intimidated. I can't ask for . I can't ask for more. Its like I am bad for asking more. Its like I am the devil for asking more. ITs like how dare I ask for more! I feel guilty to ask for more. I am wrong to ask for more. I shouldn't ask for more. I am a bad person for asking for more. I won't ask for more. I was wrong for asking for more. IT's my fault. I feel better. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel better to stop asking for more and say its my fault. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel guilty, bad, ashamed and blame myself when/for asking for more. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not ask for more, inhibited, unweighted by emotion/energy and thought. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept and allow less, a lesser reality, a lesser humanity, a lesser existence for myself and others. I forgive mysel...

When I write something, there is a sound to it. I mean this in a really practical sense. Even though I am not using my vocal cords, or "speaking" with my voice, I am speaking, but through written words. So there is a sound to what I am writing, as if I am speaking it. And I can hear this sound. Not with my ears but inside of me as I speak/write the words. Doing this, I can tell things about me. Listening to how I sound when speaking as these written words is just like listening to me when I am speaking with my voice. I can hear the hidden things within me, well they aren't really hidden because I can See it! Listening to my sound when I am communicating I can tell who I am in the real time moment. I basically can tell when I am not clear within me, and saying something tricky, or nasty, or dishonest. And I can hear when I am standing as what is best for all. I can hear when I am standing with clarity, and self-honesty. What I notice is that my body responds or more li...

Women, Girlfriends, Crushes, Secret Admirer I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to love all these women throughout the years. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to love some women because of how they looked. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to love women because I believed I needed a lover, a wife, a partner. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to love someone because its what I am supposed to do. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see the unbearable pain within me while I was in love. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to act out within this unbearable pain as love, and act on this unbearable pain. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to put my body through hell because I wanted Love. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to myself to hold my body ransom through unbearable pain as love, in order to force myself to go after someone like ...

How would I describe Panic? Its something that takes you over. Its much stronger than just fear or worry. Panic really becomes you. You see through the eyes of panic. I noticed how even the taste of my tongue just resting in my mouth change and almost like the flavor of the air changed. I don't think the air really changed, what probably happens is that my perception changed through me being within the emotion. How I stepped out of panic was through my assertiveness and strength within me. I access it through my writings and speaking on what is best for all and oneness and equality. Its a point where I can stand absolutely and become very strong. Though this isn't the end of the story. I made a plan then to handle the situation that lead to the panic. Because you see, there was a situation that occurred that was very unfortunate, very surprising and unexpected. And I had to accept that it is happening. After stopping this reaction like I said above, I went into investigat...

What I learned today was that Love and falling in Love isn't actually a feeling(as defined as positive). Its not something positive. Love is something you feel that is negative, it is an emotion(as defined as negative). The word that best describes it is unbearable pain. Within the context of Romeo and Juliet its easy to see. The caricature of a Romantic is someone who is in constant pain when separated from their loved one. It is torturous, it is unbearable pain. Its like the stereotype of the teenage girl who is in love for the first time. They are moody, overall dramatic in their  love. This unbearable pain is what it would actually feel like if you stopped and really felt what the body was feeling. Instead of feeling this unbearable pain we are so focused in our thoughts and beliefs, which is how and why we think Love is a positive experience. We think we are in love, I am have boyfriend/girlfriend, and I am loved, and so we believe we must be feeling positive. When in fact w...

What was discovered through the Portal was that the entirety of the Heaven existence, including all the beings that had passed over, lived in separation of this Earth existence. Basically not concerning themselves at all with what was happening on Earth. The same thing is happening on Earth. I am a HUman, I am a piece of this Earth and of Life itself. To care about everything, to care about all that is happening right now on Earth is my responsibility. All the problems that exist is my responsibility. All the war, the strife, the violence, the poverty, the pain and suffering is my responsibility. All the people who live in ignorance bliss is my responsibility. My generational history, my genetic history, my appearance, my education, my past, my money, doesn't excuse me from being responsible for all that exists all across the world. It doesn't matter where in the world. I am a piece of Life. This doesn't stop at the borders of any country. This doesn't stop at the t...

Much of the Mental Health system is about the Reactive side of things. So like you won't be going to a mental health counselor to get the pointers to maintaining a good mental health. Some synonyms here in this context for good mental health could be: greater self-understanding, more directive in your life, a more stronger self, more perseverance, more courageous, not letting emotions/feelings take over your life, not falling into addictions, being more physical, enjoying the simple joys of life more, enjoying your body more, being more here and attentive to your life, have a deeper more intimate relationship with yourself. So in general, how we define mental health counselors, psychiatrists, and psychologists is that we go to them when we are really sick or really messed up in the head. We don't go to them for advice for proactive ideas for improving ourselves, but for reactive solutions to problems that took years upon years to create, or problems that arose from a traumati...

So I have an observation to share today. I did work on an emotional reaction today that came up due to unique, unpredicted moment. I felt panic and it was in relation to scarcity of something I needed. Context is like you need something to do your work but they don't have enough for everybody and by chance you don't get it. And there is nothing you can "do" really to protest it. So you have to make due with the hand you were dealt. Its a really unique emotional signature and I remember it existing way back when I was in another situation that had to do with scarcity of something I needed and them not having enough. Back then it had to do with school lockers and I got stuck with one that was so far away from my classes that I had to run/rush to get to it, and I for a while couldn't find a single locker, and that was the very last one left in the school. This feeling has a very unique signature. Anyway, so I did self-forgiveness, but it wasn't enough really. I...

A Passion, a Anger, a Need, an Action, a Doing, a Tenacity, a Commitment... something like your very soul stirring within you... the agitation, the inability to sit still and do nothing. The Strength, the Call for action. This thing I am describing doesn't necessarily have to be here. I don't have to access it. I can just not call upon it, and it won't be here. Simple as that. As long as I call upon it, as long as I bring it here, live it here, it will be here. It takes my action, my initiation, my awareness, my movement for starting the fire, igniting the flames. It otherwise won't just happen most likely on its own. To live this everyday requires a decision everyday to live it. To write this blog everyday requires a decision to write it. To access the best of myself and the strength of this body requires me to call upon it. It won't happen otherwise, everyday. I can feel my heart beating faster. It has a physical effect, a physical activation. I am more...

Feeling the feel of your feelings/emotion to get to whats real.

The world that is out there, and the world that is right here around our heads are the same. We are creating the world out there through the world we keep right here. This includes our thoughts, feelings, emotions, even the secrets ones, even the ones that pop up for a moment and then we suppress them. We don't really know how to work with our emotions and feelings effectively. We are very good at suppressing them, yes we can do that. This skill of suppression allows us to do our jobs, come home to our families, and wake up each day, but it has a price to pay and it has to come out eventually. It affects our health, it slowly pops up unexpectedly and in this worst possible moments in our relationships and workplace. We would be much better off if we knew how to really work with our emotions, feelings, and thoughts well. We would have more control, we could do much better. The other thing is our disconnect from life. We have become very selfish and very self-centered in our lifest...

Hi So, I had this recurring thought of ""I don't know what I am doing" and I had done self-forgiveness for thinking this and for feeling BAD. So today it happened again, because I haven't really resolved it or let it go. This time though I let myself feel it, and I asked myself did I feel Bad or Good? Positive or Negative? Essentially I was asking whether it was an emotion or feeling, but this time not based on knowledge or belief. I say this because I believed or thought that the state ""I don't know" Is a negative statement that it means I must feel bad. Though when I did this new thing today of just letting myself FEEL it. I say I felt positive/good. The specific word was Relief. I felt relieved as a positive feeling with not knowing and being ignorant, I felt I was free of responsibility and blame because I didn't know. Here I did self-forgiveness on believing that if I don't know something I am free of responsibility, becau...

This Eqafe interview: https://eqafe.com/p/compassion-gives-you-your-life-back-life-review Helps me to understand this 'Passion', this 'Anger', this 'intensity' that is not a positive experience within me, where I am focusing on Existence, on what is best for all, on the problems in the world and the solutions I see we can do. By focusing on the ALL of Existence, I am not looking for my positive experience, my energy, my mind, my thoughts to participate in them. How I found this interview was by going to the Eqafe search bar and typing in what I was interested in, in what question I had. So I searched for 'Anger' to find perspective on this Anger within me that was not positive and it relates to when looking at the World, the best for all that can be done. The way I would describe it is that I am putting myself into action. I am writing my blogs, I am doing what I can online, I move and act and contribute to bringing forth the world that I want to...

So in the following voice clip I talk about the Positive Energy behind Anger, and its worth listening to, However there is more to the story. Today I learned that when you feel angry and you feel good while angry, which involves you smiling slightly as a tell, or you are blaming someone, its just bullshit. Its unacceptable completely. Now, when you feel angry and you feel bad, its something different. Its a sign that you need to SPEAK UP. Why do I say this? Because I feel a kind of anger that I feel bad within. I feel I must speak about oneness and equality and the injustices in the world. I must speak about how we can all change and how we all have a responsibility. I must speak about and point out our flaws and problems. This is like a shameful anger, an anger about suffering in the world. I feel this same kind of shameful anger when I have been teased and bullied. I didn't speak up then. I should have spoken up and stated my truth. I know who I am, I am THIS WAY. And set t...

Here's a simple observation about the economy and free market system. In order for you to hire someone to do something for you, lets say a gardener for example. You would have to meet a certain number of conditions. First you need to be making more money than what you need to survive. Because you won't hire someone else for something if you cannot even eat. Secondly if you would pay someone a certain money per hour that is more than what you make per hour, than you would obviously just do the work yourself instead of paying the person, assuming you can. Often what happens is that a person who makes $30 per hour will pay someone who make 8$ an hour to do the work. I know the math may be difficult to get but look at the fact that someone is making $8 an hour, and someone else who makes $30 an hour is paying them just 8$ an hour. Assuming that all jobs would pay the same rate lets say $100 an hour or $10 an hour, than why would you ever hire ANYBODY to do anything you can do you...

Something I notice from the recent years in Trump being president and the liberal left and conservative right is the amount of anger there is on both sides. What is interesting to observe is how people believe that Anger is a sign of caring. Because Trump is Visually angry people believe he really cares about America. On the left side, with Bernie Sanders, he too was outraged and people believed because he was so upset he must care. In my observation of everyday life, people who are angry about things are deemed as people who care about things. In all truth though this can just be a ruse or trick. Being angry doesn't necessarily mean you care, however because of what people believe, this becomes what people see to be a sign of of caring. If you are deceived by someone who pretends to be angry, its your responsibility for believing that anger means people care. It doesn't mean anything. Anger itself feels good. It is self-rewarding and so self-reinforcing. It becomes an ad...