Saturday, January 25, 2020

Day 793- The Fourth Door - Manipulation and Control


Where am I afraid to go? What door?

I am afraid of being with people who are attempting to manipulate and control my actions and behaviors through manipulating my environment, by withholding certain things from me.

I am afraid of being in a situation where someone is trying to keep things away from me, that take things away from me.

I am afraid of being in a situation where things around me are being moved without my decision, and so there is chaos and unpredictability.

I am afraid of being treated in a way where it’s purpose is manipulating my behaviors, and how I feel in order to make me afraid/compliant.

I am afraid of being told I am responsible for someone else’s feelings, where I will be punished and held accountable if I don’t ensure I make someone else feel good.

I am afraid of being chastised and reprimanded.

I am afraid of someone taking actions to change my physical reality/space in order to punish me or control me.

When I am in such a situation, I recognize this to be a bad relationship, one that I must cut off and end as soon as I can. At the same time, fear is unacceptable. So what I am saying is to stand in such a situation without fear. We must be able to stand in all dimensions, and in any situations.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being with people who are attempting to manipulate my actions and behaviors through manipulating my environment by withholding certain things from me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of being in a situation where someone is trying to take things away from, hide things from me, keep things away from me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being in a situation where things around me are moved without my permission or decision, and so things are not where I expect them to be, and so there is unpredictability and chaos

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being treated in a way where the action’s purpose is to manipulate my behaviors, and how I feel in order to make me afraid/compliant.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being told I am responsible for someone else’s feelings that I will be held accountable for whether they feel good, and so will be punished if they feel bad.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of being chastised or reprimanded.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of someone taking actions to change my physical space in order to punish me or control me.

When and as I see myself in a situation where someone or some people are trying to manipulate me through changing my physical space- I stop and I breathe- I realize all fear must end, and that fear doesn’t aid me- I realize that this is a bad relationship and one that I must end as soon as possible. I realize that I need to do what is best for me and so what is best for all. - I also realize this is how many families operate, by punishing their kids and I realize that many adults grew up in these environments and so they act out in the same way as adults in their relationships and even in the workplaces, even as managers- I realize that manipulation and control has become a definition of leadership. I realize that donald trump supporters probably relate to him as that manipulation guy because they grew up in such a household of manipulation and punishment, and so torture- I realize that the fate of nations start in the households, families, and the first 7 years of life, and so in the secret minds, and secret lives, and secret families.

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