Day 725 Reacting to the Opinions of Attractive Men/Women
I am starting this Blog, with a Vlog... haha that rhymed!
See below:
So continuing on this point. I have seen how throughout my life, I very much cared about many women's opinion me and what they said to me or about me, cause of my interest in potential partners or women, since I am naturally aligned to desiring and being with a woman.
So I can see how past girlfriends how what they said to me, I took it to my heart, deep into my heart. If they had a criticism of me, I kept it deep here in my heart, like a scar. It is there. It stays there. And its alive, and sensitive like a fresh wound.
I remember one woman saying: Yogan! You don't know what you are doing! You want to change! But you haven't lived it yet!
I took that to heart. I didn't stop to consider it or question it, or look who I am in relation to it. I immediately believed it, and believed her. Cause I cared about her opinion about me. And it made me feel real bad. Very bad. Like I am bad. She is right, I am a liar, I am deceptive. I don't understand, I don't know.
So this scar has been here still. I have written about it, I have done self-forgiveness. And now in this blog topic here it is again, naturally. Maybe this will be the time. At the very least this is a new dimension of it, so that's quite good!!!
I can see how the very nature and basis of Flirting, is that of caring about others opinions, like an attractive woman or guy. Like when you approach your crush, you CARE about their opinion. How they respond, even in the slightest indirect way, can be DEVASTATING. It's interesting to see how flirting plays out between two people who are still new to it, amateurs at it. Because there with two young people they haven't created a method or way to flirt on purpose. They just do/become what they are in the moment. And who they are is caring about the others opinions. So You become awkward and not yourself. You become weak and insecure. You become reactive.
I find it highly interesting how in movies/shows the advice for guys to not care about women as a way to make them desire you. That is interesting. As that advice is a point that is framed as a BAD thing to do, as only bad guys are doing that, and that it is not sincere an genuine, and not what a good guy would do. Yet, the very point here of my blog and the solution is to stop the caring about how they view you. There is a difference though. So don't get confused here. The difference in movies/shows is that the bad guys are shown as disrespecting women and taking advantage.
In reality, not caring about their opinions is what is best in a Process wise way. Truly STOPPING, Truly ENDING the reactions. Instead of pretending and suppressing how you feel so you can take a advantage.
Still I think its quite interesting how that ended up in Hollywood. Since there is a promotion in the media of being Sincere and genuine with people you like, in that believing it will all work out for the good guy somehow. That is how it is framed and portrayed. The truth is different. In reality its promoting self-insecurity.
The Desteni process is about stopping the Mind, the reactions, the emotions and the Feelings. When you stop that, then you can create and direct yourself as what is best for all, as oneness and equality.
So I have been facing/walking this point about caring about a specific person because I as my mind, placed them as an interesting woman, for dating, or however else you want to put it. And within doing the self-forgiveness here, and stopping, it was clear that I was in energy. Caring about a person's view of you, taking that on as yourself, that means that you aren't being yourself. You are reacting to what they say. You are reacting about what you are THINKING that they are saying. You are reacting to what you are thinking their INTENT is, and what they must MEAN.
It is a lot of Drama. It is very sensitive, and volatile. And stopping that point is like the quiet after a storm. What's a major takeaway is that the Mind's System is a Frame. It is a recipe. It is a Frame with a seat in the middle that ANY woman/man can sit in that you find interesting. It can be a man/woman at the grocery store, as you walk by them. It can be a coworker, it can be a fellow student in your class, it can be anyone. You know it cause you suddenly change, and focus on how you look, how you are perceived, about how they move and act to you. You become subtle and hyper aware of your movements, what you do and say. And if you glance at them, you are giving them that self-value, and if they glance at you they are giving you that confirmation, and whether they smile or not.
Understand that this is the automatic system of procreation by the mind. It is your mind seeking that person out, and seeking that energy out. It is happening to everyone. It is a system inside of us. And if you were to actually take it all the way into a relationship with a person, then another system would come out. Or at the very least you are no longer doing the exact same thing. Or that who you are naturally with a friend may come out. Or who you are naturally with YOURSELF alone comes out. Which if you have a very nasty relationship with yourself, then yeah it won't be pretty later on when it comes out with your partner.
So for those who are new to the Desteni process, I just wanted to point the above out. WWW.DESTENI.ORG
For me, what I need to do is to be able to stand now. My next step is to test myself out through time whether I have opened up the points enough, and whether I can direct myself every single time to make sure that I am being myself, and not reacting. Especially here when I get to know any woman whether I am FOCUSED on their Opinion of me and how I am PERCEIVED, and focusing on my SELF-IMAGE. Women are everywhere. Women who are dateable are everywhere. And so it is a daily process and application.
When it comes to actually approaching a man/woman you are interested in, the best approach seems to be direct in asking them whether you can get to know them, and whether they would like to get to know you, and then to actually be yourself with them, and making sure to stop your own reactions about this viewing/thinking about they are saying about you and their opinions whether it is Positive or Negative. In reality probably the person you are with is not walking the same process as you. So there is where it is tricky, and I won't claim I know how to navigate that because I haven't. All I can share what is best for SELF, yourSELF and know that who you are, the LIVING WORDS determine what you say, and what you do in the moment. But that is a whole other story/blog, which the info is out their in the desteni process if you want to look at it there already for yourself.
Freedom from negative self-image, freedom from an insecure, weak, fake self, Freedom from positive highs, and false positivity, Freedom from feeling shitty and becoming HATEFUL when someone you find interesting does something you perceive as disrespectful... that is what I am after. A real stable self that is me, that I can walk this Earth and speak/do what is best for all stably for everyone and myself.
See below:
So continuing on this point. I have seen how throughout my life, I very much cared about many women's opinion me and what they said to me or about me, cause of my interest in potential partners or women, since I am naturally aligned to desiring and being with a woman.
So I can see how past girlfriends how what they said to me, I took it to my heart, deep into my heart. If they had a criticism of me, I kept it deep here in my heart, like a scar. It is there. It stays there. And its alive, and sensitive like a fresh wound.
I remember one woman saying: Yogan! You don't know what you are doing! You want to change! But you haven't lived it yet!
I took that to heart. I didn't stop to consider it or question it, or look who I am in relation to it. I immediately believed it, and believed her. Cause I cared about her opinion about me. And it made me feel real bad. Very bad. Like I am bad. She is right, I am a liar, I am deceptive. I don't understand, I don't know.
So this scar has been here still. I have written about it, I have done self-forgiveness. And now in this blog topic here it is again, naturally. Maybe this will be the time. At the very least this is a new dimension of it, so that's quite good!!!
I can see how the very nature and basis of Flirting, is that of caring about others opinions, like an attractive woman or guy. Like when you approach your crush, you CARE about their opinion. How they respond, even in the slightest indirect way, can be DEVASTATING. It's interesting to see how flirting plays out between two people who are still new to it, amateurs at it. Because there with two young people they haven't created a method or way to flirt on purpose. They just do/become what they are in the moment. And who they are is caring about the others opinions. So You become awkward and not yourself. You become weak and insecure. You become reactive.
I find it highly interesting how in movies/shows the advice for guys to not care about women as a way to make them desire you. That is interesting. As that advice is a point that is framed as a BAD thing to do, as only bad guys are doing that, and that it is not sincere an genuine, and not what a good guy would do. Yet, the very point here of my blog and the solution is to stop the caring about how they view you. There is a difference though. So don't get confused here. The difference in movies/shows is that the bad guys are shown as disrespecting women and taking advantage.
In reality, not caring about their opinions is what is best in a Process wise way. Truly STOPPING, Truly ENDING the reactions. Instead of pretending and suppressing how you feel so you can take a advantage.
Still I think its quite interesting how that ended up in Hollywood. Since there is a promotion in the media of being Sincere and genuine with people you like, in that believing it will all work out for the good guy somehow. That is how it is framed and portrayed. The truth is different. In reality its promoting self-insecurity.
The Desteni process is about stopping the Mind, the reactions, the emotions and the Feelings. When you stop that, then you can create and direct yourself as what is best for all, as oneness and equality.
So I have been facing/walking this point about caring about a specific person because I as my mind, placed them as an interesting woman, for dating, or however else you want to put it. And within doing the self-forgiveness here, and stopping, it was clear that I was in energy. Caring about a person's view of you, taking that on as yourself, that means that you aren't being yourself. You are reacting to what they say. You are reacting about what you are THINKING that they are saying. You are reacting to what you are thinking their INTENT is, and what they must MEAN.
It is a lot of Drama. It is very sensitive, and volatile. And stopping that point is like the quiet after a storm. What's a major takeaway is that the Mind's System is a Frame. It is a recipe. It is a Frame with a seat in the middle that ANY woman/man can sit in that you find interesting. It can be a man/woman at the grocery store, as you walk by them. It can be a coworker, it can be a fellow student in your class, it can be anyone. You know it cause you suddenly change, and focus on how you look, how you are perceived, about how they move and act to you. You become subtle and hyper aware of your movements, what you do and say. And if you glance at them, you are giving them that self-value, and if they glance at you they are giving you that confirmation, and whether they smile or not.
Understand that this is the automatic system of procreation by the mind. It is your mind seeking that person out, and seeking that energy out. It is happening to everyone. It is a system inside of us. And if you were to actually take it all the way into a relationship with a person, then another system would come out. Or at the very least you are no longer doing the exact same thing. Or that who you are naturally with a friend may come out. Or who you are naturally with YOURSELF alone comes out. Which if you have a very nasty relationship with yourself, then yeah it won't be pretty later on when it comes out with your partner.
So for those who are new to the Desteni process, I just wanted to point the above out. WWW.DESTENI.ORG
For me, what I need to do is to be able to stand now. My next step is to test myself out through time whether I have opened up the points enough, and whether I can direct myself every single time to make sure that I am being myself, and not reacting. Especially here when I get to know any woman whether I am FOCUSED on their Opinion of me and how I am PERCEIVED, and focusing on my SELF-IMAGE. Women are everywhere. Women who are dateable are everywhere. And so it is a daily process and application.
When it comes to actually approaching a man/woman you are interested in, the best approach seems to be direct in asking them whether you can get to know them, and whether they would like to get to know you, and then to actually be yourself with them, and making sure to stop your own reactions about this viewing/thinking about they are saying about you and their opinions whether it is Positive or Negative. In reality probably the person you are with is not walking the same process as you. So there is where it is tricky, and I won't claim I know how to navigate that because I haven't. All I can share what is best for SELF, yourSELF and know that who you are, the LIVING WORDS determine what you say, and what you do in the moment. But that is a whole other story/blog, which the info is out their in the desteni process if you want to look at it there already for yourself.
Freedom from negative self-image, freedom from an insecure, weak, fake self, Freedom from positive highs, and false positivity, Freedom from feeling shitty and becoming HATEFUL when someone you find interesting does something you perceive as disrespectful... that is what I am after. A real stable self that is me, that I can walk this Earth and speak/do what is best for all stably for everyone and myself.
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