Yogan's Journey to Life

So in this blog I am going to be speaking about a Signature of an Expression. For most normal people they won't understand what I EXACTLY will be describing here. So it is something that requires a certain kind of experience with self-forgiveness, with expressions, and understanding how your sound, presence, living words and self-expression INTERACT with yourself, your energies, your reactions etc... The Signature of Expression is this: Screaming Bloody Murder. Let me try describing what I am referring to. So, there is this part of my mind/reactions that I haven't been able to resolve for a while. And I had a moment where I was pushing for my stance/stand of what is best for all and in not allowing these reactions within me. And it reached a point where I accessed this signature of what would be Screaming but at the highest level of "Hatred" or just general loudness. I said WOULD be screaming because I didn't actually scream outloud, but I accessed that Sign...

There's a lot that I have been walking in my mind that is complex/complicated to share in a way that it will be understood without being judge or misunderstood. But I will in this blog share what I can while focusing more on the principle of the points, and so trying to avoid confusion or judgment from people because then it would prevent the readers/people from assimilating the message/lesson. There is a technique employed that involves me visualizing a person who I know I have a reaction to. So I visualize them and I try to see them as me as one and equal in that my imagination naturally turned to the point of hugging them. So here I am observing my own mind, and my own reactions and I am utilizing what I am seeing as a way to inform me of the reactions so I can align the points. I will know if I am understanding the misalignment if I can finally realign the point. So in the imagination they would be stabbing me in the back as I would try to hug them. So my first step here was ...

I have found within me a point of placing parts of myself, my expression, my visions, my living words, simply parts of myself within People and Objects in my Life. So it sounds similar to the Horcruxes that Voldemort used in Harry Potter. And I suspect that unconsciously that point was picked up and written in that story because it reflects something real. I suspect that this is something we all do. So what this means is that parts of myself is defined within the relationship to that person/object. For example lets say the willingness/eagerness to socialize with people and communicate/share is defined within one person in my life. So I have all these various parts of myself that is defined within people and objects in my life and what that means is that if something happens to that person/object than it can feel like I lost something, like I lost a part of myself. Have you ever seen yourself go through such a thing or seen others go through such things? It seems to me to be something...

I know, war is an extreme.  I have made the decision that its necessary to declare a war on feelings. This includes all feelings, including intuition, happiness, love, joy, excitement etc... Anything that involves your feelings about something or someone. Feeling like someone is bad or good, or someone is untrustworthy. Any kind of feeling that involves translating that feeling into a belief. So that means when I see someone who looks homeless, that I don't judge them as homeless and I don't make a feeling about them, or accept and allow a feeling about them for example. This includes when I see someone that looks Beautiful, that I don't see them as beautiful, or as trustworthy or good, or bad, or bitchy, or whatever. I don't think or feel anything about them, or anyone. Instead what I do is see directly here in real time what is going on, and who people are, and whats happening actually.  It is necessary to confront all feelings, because how else will expressions...

Standing for a world that is best for all. The odd thing about the Human Mind is that even directly saying exactly the words of who you are, where you stand and what you are committed to: "I Stand for a world that is best for all" or "I am committed to bring about a world that is best for all" that the Mind will want to find some way to go against it. The mind will create ideas such as Fake News, or a Liar, or that its "just words." This is how the haters and abusers found ways to bring down Desteni with their words: to attack the message of what is best for all. There is no other group existing on planet earth that I have heard of or seen that stands completely within the message of What is best for all as all as one and equal. None. And this is the message of Life and Existence, and this is forms the very fabric of Existence, and of the Entirety of our relationships, experiences and consequences. All of the consequences that have been manifesting, that...

Bernard was a living word. His words, what he spoke, what he said: it was living; it was alive; it was life. I need to become my own living word. Meaning that I need to speak and say and live in such a way that my words are alive, are life; reflect that I am alive living one and equal with this existence, with this body, with this self, with everyone. While reading Bernards words are supportive: it comes a time when you simply must become the living word yourself: and that means speaking and writing in such a way where you are not THINKING at all, where it just FLOWS, and it just POURS out out of you and it is within the starting point of Life, of Oneness and Equality with Existence, standing in the shoes of every person in existence, and so reflecting what is best for all for every person. It is speaking with the authority that what you are saying IS what is best for all, IS what is best for existence, such that if you were on a podium and the entire existence was watching you and...

What is the one thing I fear? What is one place I am not willing to go to? Standing in correcting/directing others. Standing as who I am in opposition. My heart/connection to existence is needed. I am a part of this existence, I am worth defending/protecting/enhancing/safeguarding. I have equal value to this entire existence. I stand with and as everyone/everything. I have value just for existing. I am equal to this entire existence. I deserve care, respect, regard and consideration. I am worthy. I give myself all of these things, all of these words, and I expect to receive them from others. Anyone who is not aligned with these words are misaligned and are detracting from themselves and others. Life is here, Life is exist, we are equal and one with and as Life. I give that value to everyone. I support an Equal Money System. I support a Freedom Dividend, I support anyone and all support to everyone/existence. Simply for existing I have value. I don't have to hav...

I have been having an issue where its like my memory is gone. I don't see myself being sick/ill. This feels more like a Lose of Self. So, in this Video: Revenge of the Ego by Bernard Poolman, I remember him saying that at times we will find ourselves losing Faith in ourselves. And this describes what I feel, so I decided to listen to the recording today. So the recording is fairly long and it covers a fair amount of dimensions/topics. The point that stuck out to me was how the mind is vastly superior with its access to the Knowledge, Intellectualism, such as facts, or memory - or Memory. It has access to all of that information, and everything I have every done in the past, and everything I ever felt/thought and all of my reactions to everything ever. So it knows all of this. And I don't have that same level of access. But, Bernard said the one point that the mind fails is in with Breath- this will disrupt the mind- in Breath the mind cannot do anything. So if I try to Thin...

So, I'm standing again in clearly seeing the Life that is here as me. What this means is that how I see myself is a being, a something that is life- if I create an imagination about it in order to describe it- it could be seeing myself/my body that is right here in his moment as I sit in this chair and type, and seeing that inner body as like a blue light that is my body. Its not about an image, but if I were to use an image it would be that. How I see myself is about seeing myself as life- meaning that I have no beginning and no end, that I am standing with and by every single part, particle, and speck in this existence, from the great to the small. So I committed to support every single part/person/thing in this existence- no matter who it is or what they have done. Because there are no enemies in reality/existence- there is just people/life that may be exercising power in accordance with their programming and in ways that is not what is best. But there is no enemy, there is no n...

So I'm going to be describing something that may be very hard to understand. Even with the right words, if you read it too quickly, then you are already accessing the idea of it. Being vulnerable in asking someone something: Can I go with you? Will you help me? Can I have your number? Can we hangout? Do you want to go to...? And here, imagine that you are truly saying these words as truly asking the person. Not putting up a facade, not trying to be cool, not trying to already shield/guard yourself and act like you don't care. Truly being vulnerable in truly asking for what you want and so you are declaring to the person what you want and you are in the same moment ready to hear them say Yes or No. That moment is the one I fear. I fear vulnerability. And when I look at people in general, everyone does as well. And the common advice that I hear and have been told is to be STRONG and CONFIDENT and basically FUCK THEM if they say no. And this is what I see everyone givin...

So what I was walking with my mind in today/yesterday was this point of Standing where I was standing to NOT be a Follower of My mind, or within my preprogrammed life. So in my preprogrammed life/mind I am meant to be someone who is not standing out, who doesn't go against the grain, who is invisible, who blends into society, blends into his career/work, who is quiet within that life, who doesn't rock the boat, who doesn't share his opinions, keeps to himself. This is my preprogramming, and this is who i am within my mind, and within my life, and within myself. Within that programming it feels natural, it feels comfortable, it feels familiar, it feels right. So I am standing up and putting a stop to the programming. This involves some physical actions and physical stance, and insisting in certain actions which are my own, which are going against the grain, which is radical, which is going against the tradition, going against what is accepted as normal in society, it g...

Preprogrammed to NOT work for money. The statement: Do what you Love to do, find a Career that you Love to do. What this statement is saying is to follow your Preprogramming- Do what you were preprogrammed to do. The one missing piece of information that general people lack is that every person was preprogrammed through their mind consciousness system to have a preprogrammed life path- which meant that SOME people were preprogrammed to work for Money for example, or to be a doctor or lawyer, or to be a scientist or teacher etc... or to even be poor, to be an alcoholic, to be failure and live a painful life. Everyone is preprogrammed. So the statement of doing what you love to do, is basically telling you to trust your feelings and emotions, and so to simply do whatever it was you were preprogrammed to do. Some people are more lucky than others. For me, I was preprogrammed to be something like a Guru, and at the very least I was preprogrammed to NOT be working for money. I can at ...

I have found an interesting thing. My tether to this world. It is something defined within the mind, but I can see I can redefine it and live it as words. My tether is what gives me the sense of living, of hope, and potential and there being a future for me in this world. I find that when I look into myself as my life timeline that my tether to this world relates to Being Understood by someone and finding that one someone who does See me, Gets me, understands me. So its an imagination. I imagine finding such a person and see the potential of the human people that I would find such a person somewhere. I have had this throughout my life since childhood. I can see the negative polarity of seeing myself as not understood by others, or heard by others. That I am alone in this world, and so feeling frustrated, tired, alone, meaningless within that. And so having this idea of finding someone someday who does understand and get me is what motivated me through so many times in my life. I ha...

If you ever notice my blog count starting from one again, that was sometimes because I was like restarting my process. Rewalking it again. Realigning to the starting points of process. So I am doing the same thing today except I just won't be changing the number of my blog, but it is at 751! So it is a one there. Where I am starting is with the Words and the Definitions of Process. So the word LIFE. So to redefine and define the word Life. Life is everywhere and everything without any energy, without bias, without judgment or separation. True and complete equality between every single part and subpart as all of it together forms this existence equally. All is life. Choice- there is no choice, I give up my choice. I give up believing I can choose to what to say. I give up trying to say things in a different way or say a different message. There is only one message, one principle, one thing to say/speak in any moment, and that is what is best for all, that is oneness and eq...

The story of seeing a girl at an age 10 and seeing all of her potential and then seeing her 3 years later and seeing all of that potential Squashed. This is one out of many stories of humanity. The basic truth of all people, is that we’re all quite troubled, and that we at an early age in childhood had that potential and beauty. If you see all of the adults who are supposedly wretched, see how they used to be before, before they were like that, and even before then. Keep going back and you will see we all had that potential on our faces. That potential is there still, even though its deep down. It breaks my heart when I see that potential squashed. I haven’t learned how to deal with that. But that potential in humanity is the most beautiful thing there is. This is what I live for. I live for the potential of humanity and for myself. I don’t live for what is only here as in the status quo. I don’t live for continuing just the same thing everyday. I live for t...

I am standing up to my mind, and I am standing up to myself. I suppose it is something like Gandi because he advocated non-violence. So I am standing up to my mind in a non-violent way, and so also a non-aggressive way. I am not angry at my mind, I am not resisting it. I actually let it play out a little bit in my head, but within doing so I am clear in who I am, and what I am doing in the moment, and what I am directing. I am clear that the goal is to stop the energies and stop the thoughts/mind through Understanding and Self-forgiveness within Understanding my responsibility of how I created any specific mind system I am being faced with. So I am committed to stop the feeling/emotions. I am committed to stopping the positive reactions and the negative reactions. I am committed to really release the mind systems and to do so within Understanding the How that I created the particular mind system I am faced with. Through understanding me, through understanding my mind and the story...

When I was a child my aunt told me very specifically how a woman can be very beautiful, but be very nasty, ugly on the inside. Since then I have had that view of who a person is is what counts most of all. Also why the desteni process and focus on SELF, and who you are is the most important thing there is. Real beauty as expression has nothing to do with Energy- Energy as the Mind- Energy as Feelings- Anything about Positive connotations etc... Not good or bad as energy/emotion/feeling or judgment. If you start with this starting point then you will be able to explore what Beauty is as an expression.... But until you do that, you will only have an IDEA about what beauty as self-expression is. There's no amount of thinking or preparation needed. Just start in the individual moments---- if you have any energy movements with regards to anyone's image/appearance, good or bad, STOP IT. Keep doing that, and don't stop. Eventually you will get to the point and understand. ...

Self-forgiveness I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be sad and depressed over losing a friend I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be hopeful that they will return one day I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry that they blamed me I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame myself for them leaving I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be tired I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think about them I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to be free of my reactions about them no matter the cost I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define and expect all relationships with people will end in the same way as them I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel hopeless and depressed that I couldn't do or say anything to keep someone from leaving I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be inadequate and blame m...

 I'm too good for this world. This phrase has many meanings/interpretations, read on. One of the things that perplexes me of human behavior is when two people are kind to each other, are happy with each other, and enjoy each others company and then all of the sudden, BAM, it ends. But its not always the simple, though: it ends? What happened? So who I have always been is someone that never went into pushing people away. I know never is a strong word here. But with every person who did BAM, decided that they weren't my friend anymore, I always accepted/respected their decision, but at the same time just couldn't believe it. Meaning, I would ask myself: then was everything they said and did a lie? Did they not really been happy? Were they not seriously kind? Who were they within all the times we had together? Were they just fake/kidding? I mean that's only natural to wonder that. Especially when I was here not wanting to push them away or end things. Yet here they...